in case you missed the debate, here's the short version:

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Wed Oct-08-08 12:49 AM
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in case you missed the debate, here's the short version:

obama: if we can take bin laden out, and pakistan won't help, we should take him out anyway.

mclame: obama just announced that he's going to send tanks into pakistan the day he takes office! he's horribly naive and a traitor for giving away military movements! me, i would coddle any terrorist that can find a willing country to harbor them! bin laden will be perfectly safe in islamabad as long as i'm president! oh, and i have a secret plan for ending bin laden's life.

obama: if you make less than $250,000 a year, you'll get a tax cut.

mclame: obama's got like six tax proposals, i can't keep them straight. first it's a cut from anyone under $250,000. then it's a hike for anyone over $250,000. then it's a cut for 95% of the people. then it's a hike for 5% of the people. then it's only the poor and the middle class who get the tax cut. then it's only the rich who get a tax hike. see, he keeps changing his position, just like jell-o, and we all know how evil jell-o is. but i'll make it simple for you. obama's tax cut plan was copied word for word from herbert hoover's tax hike plan! he'll single-handedly cause a repeat of the great depression! obama will hike taxes on all employers, who will then fire YOU! tax increases only work when *i* propose them, as in my health care plan. taxing employers on their health care benefits will cause the economy to boom; taxing employers on their profits will cause another great depression.

brokaw: as moderator, i have to inform you that you that i am powerless to stop you from going over the time limits.

obama: we're going to have to prioritize.

mclame: i'll solve all our problems before naptime on inauguration day. one of us up here is really lazy. hint: that one.

obama: i'd like to address the social security problem in my first term.

mclame: solving social security is easy-peasy! i just takes some bipartisanship, and i'm the bipartisanest guy there is! nobody gets bipartisaner then me! i'm so bipartisan i actually SAW ronald reagan and tip o'neill talk to each other! it doesn't get more bipartisan than that! and all that bipartisanality means that social security is solved if i'm president! because you don't need an actual PLAN to solve problems, you just need an agreement between the two parties. the mere act of agreement actually makes the social security fund solvent through eternity!

obama: george bush shouldn't have called on america to go shopping after 9/11.

mclame: america needs to sacrifice earmarks. i'm a reformer. my party hates me. the other party hates me, too. independents hate me. everybody hates me. you should like me because i am universally hated. i once killed a big boondoggle of an earmark for the sole purpose of replacing it with an even bigger earmark. now that's reform. there's a lot of waste in defense spending, so i'm going to freeze all spending except for defense. and senate perks, can't freeze that. wait, if i'm president, i won't get senate perks anymore. can i take that back?

brokaw: thank you, both. now kindly move so i can see my teleprompter and awkwardly avoid shaking hands. good night.