Who Ya Talkin' To, "My Friend'?

[NanceGreggs]

Dear John:

I have just one question about your campaign tactics – and no, it’s not about the obvious stupidity of lying about things that are easily proven false by a quick perusal of publicly-accessible records, or your campaign mailing out invalid absentee ballots to registered Democrats, or even your lame-brained VP pick (who, by the way, is known on my side of the aisle as the Gift that keeps on Giving).

While all of the above are fair game, my question is a bit more specific: When you address “My Friends” in your speeches, just who the fuck are you talking to?

I know it’s not the vets. You have consistently voted against their best interests, which – even you have to admit – is a tad less than “friendly”.

I know it’s not the people caught up in the healthcare crisis. You offer no solutions for those who can’t afford health insurance, and you want to tax the healthcare benefits of those who are still lucky enough to have them – in other words, you’re pretty much nobody’s friend on this issue.

I know it’s not our troops in Iraq, who you think should stay there until “victory” is achieved, even if it takes a hundred years. The fact that you have yet to define what “victory” IS doesn’t give the kind of comfort one would expect from a friend.

I know it’s not the citizens who have had their jobs outsourced, because you support tax breaks for corporations that DO the outsourcing. Seems to me that someone who wants to reward the very people who are taking jobs away from American workers isn’t the kind of “friend” the American worker needs.

I know it’s not the middle-class who are drowning while trying to make ends meet, because you support continued tax-cuts for the wealthy, while you offer the middle-class NO tax relief at all. Wouldn’t a real friend want to help his fellow citizens keep afloat?

And speaking of “drowning”, I know it’s not the victims of NOLA, because you were busy eating birthday cake while they were literally drowning. Are they the friends of which you speak? Apparently not.

I know it’s not the people who want real change in government policies, because you are offering exactly the same policies that have failed over the past eight years – you just re-label them, and pretend they’re something different. Do real “friends” lie to each other?

I know it’s not the hard-working populace who are trying to get ahead, who have consistently demonstrated their willingness to work tirelessly to achieve the American Dream. You have called them lazy whiners who wouldn’t “pick lettuce for fifty dollars an hour” – does that sound like something one “friend” would say to another?

So I’ll pose the question again, John: Exactly who are these “friends” you’re talking to?

While I realize that speaking the truth is anathema to you and your campaign, wouldn’t it be far more honest to simply say my friends the lobbyists, my friends the job-outsourcers, my friends the greedy corporations, my friends the liars, my friends the propagandists, or, more to the point, my friends who are dumb enough to believe they actually ARE my friends?

Here’s the thing, John. You are not, never have been, and never will be a “friend” to anyone who doesn’t line your pockets, defend your lies, support your ignorance, cover for your idiotic gaffes, and hold you up to be everything you’re not.

So drop the “my friends” bullshit – it is as transparent as you are. You are nobody’s friend – with the single exception of your wife, who I am sure you are anxious to maintain a “friendship” with as long as she is willing to fork-out the bucks necessary to maintain the lifestyle to which you have become accustomed, but never earned.

The obvious conclusion to this rant would be: “With friends like John McCain, who needs enemies?” But I won’t go with the obvious – instead, I’ll just say. "FUCK RIGHT OFF, FRIEND” – which, under the circumstances, seems less genteel, but a hell of a lot more appropriate.

[Demeter]

1. Right On, My Friend!

Great editorial, Nance!

[Pete2069]

32. Now if we can get the only democrat with the spine to deliver the

Message..................

KUCINICH  >>>>>>  WAKE UP AMERICA 
<<<<<<

[Condem]

2. Apologies for last nights rant, NanceGreggs.

Let's call it a bad day at the office & leave it at that. You write some seriously good shit.

[NanceGreggs]

3. Apology SO not necessary ...

:hi:

[Condem]

5. Love ya, NanceGreggs

Tears in my eyes serious!

[NanceGreggs]

6. Right back at ya ...

:hug:

[Juan_de_la_Dem]

4. A true Dear John letter

once again on point Nance

[vixengrl]

7. When a con man says, "My friend, " check for your wallet,

and make sure it's still in the same place you left it. Keep your eyes and ears wide open while he lays his rap down on you--you might learn something. You won't like it, but you'll learn something.

When John McCain talks about his friends, anymore, he's talking about an ever-smaller pool of the still-listening. There are some people who notice his new partner in the game, which is a small distraction, but if he doesn't hide behind her flash you can still see the old hands moving behind the scenes--slowly. Not as practiced as should be. He's lost a step but the shills still put him out there as an attraction every now and again, afraid that the people will be dissatisfied if they don't see that main attraction. Come see-come see! He was a prisoner in Vietnam and served honorably! Come see! He served in the Senate for a long time! He's a straight talker from Arizona--Step Right In! He hates earmarks except for when he don't, and works with lobbyists in his campaign except for when he won't! Enter! Enter!

And the curtain opens.

"My friends..."

A touch. See, that's what they call that. Expect a line to follow. And it will. "And now a word from my running mate..."

Don't pay attention to the ads behind the scenes, the lying assertions smearing the opposition. That's just business, after all, and the main attraction claims it's all true (even sitting on the set of "The View.") Don't pay attention to the claims it's all a lie--that'll wreck our entertainment. Maybe the assistant isn't the sharpest girl doing this act, but she's new. She could take this show over, someday. She has the shills--I mean, skills.

"My friends--I know how to capture Bin Laden."

"HOW?"

"My friends, I know how to win wars!"

"HOW?"

"My friends, I know how to reform Warshington."

"HOW?"

"Take a look at my assistant--she knows how--are you telling?"

(She's not telling.)

"Elect me and I'll bring change!"

"HOW?"

"Reform! Cutting Spending! Victory!"

The plants gasp orgiastically, and a few game folk clap, but the general consensus is confusion.

(The rabble at the floor level grumble, dissatisfied. The ticketmaster is overwhelmed by cries for their money back--the main attraction is offering nothing, and the assistant wasn't really worth the price of admission. A few game audience members seize on "Victory." "HOW?")

"Doing the same things, the things we have to my friends."

Remembering that this hasn't worked, they try again. "HOW?"

"With Victory! And fighting FOR YOU! And Tax Cuts!"

"FOR US?"

"Maybe, my friends...." And then an awkward, lopsided, self-effacing (no literally--part of him simply disappears--effaced) grin wrinkles his wrinkled visage yet more and he asks:

"How much do you make?"


A pall falls across the crowd. []Is he really our friend? the few hangers-on ask one another. We felt like we knew him. Some maintained he was still a very honest man, and emptied their purses in his coffers. Did they know him?

They never really did--he was just an attraction, and his assistant? A distraction.

The greatest show--until the next one--my friends.

[New_England_Patriot]

26. McCain knows how to capture Bin Laden?

Then why the hell hasn't he spoken up about it before until just now?! And then Keith Olbermann hits hit home by saying 'and if we don't vote for McCain, he won't tell us how to capture Bin Laden??'

Seriously, McCain claims he knows how to capture this man, but he's not going to tell us unless we vote for him...
The thought of that is quite scary.

[Terri S]

8. Perfect !

I think the same thing, every time he says, "my friend", and being from Brooklyn, I gotta say, you were a hell of a lot more genteel than my rants to the teevee have been.

You're the best, Nance!

[NanceGreggs]

13. I'm a native Brooklynite myself ...

... and every time I hear him say "my friends", I can also hear my uncles saying, "Hey, who's this mamaluke, anyways? Ya wanna be my friend? Meet me at the corner of Myrtle and Onderdonk, and bring me my job, my pension money, and a bag a groceries for the wife and kids - and maybe I'll listen to what you got to say."

[KakistocracyHater]

9. no do it 40s-style

Ziefield Girl had Judy Garland & her dad pushing her to sing a song in 1890s-style, that fell flat; she was given another chance & sang it new-style & it worked. Many 1940s films were GENTLY telling their parents' generation that times were a'changing; if you attack McCain a lot of people will defend him merely because they feel the attack. Satire is very good & absolutely firmly & gently telling them. Reveal the lies, the used-car sales tricks, & have Democratic women deal with Palin. Teamwork, many people from all walks of life agreeing with Obama's vision will have a deep impact.

[babylonsister]

10. Oh, Nance, this is too good. It's going to be shared! Thank you! nt

[knixphan]

11. K&R

[treestar]

12. Great, and the first paragraph just cracked me up!

She is the "gift that keeps on giving!" :rofl:

And you've figured out who his friend really are to a T!

[stuntcat]

14. Thank You.

He's so clearly talking down to "his friends"

Who needs friends like that?

[CaliforniaPeggy]

15. GREAT rant, my dear Nance!

Nobody, and I mean nobody skewers them the skillful way you do!

Thank you!

K&R

:patriot:

[Bobbie Jo]

16. You know what they say....with friends like that, etc.. K&R!

:kick:

[Oldtimeralso]

17. Great Job

I know that McShame isn't talking to me and the rest of America should wake up to that.

[1Hippiechick]

18. Awesome! K&R and bookmarked! n/t

[Ninga]

19. So many fabulous thoughts...so little time...lets get a letter to the editor writing campaign going!

This stuff is waaaaaaaaaaaay too good, not to be shared.

Thanks NanceGreggs!

:woohoo:

[JerseygirlCT]

20. K&R! Terrific! nt

[secondwind]

21. I always thought he was talking to his rich friends...........when he says

"my friends, Obama promises to raise your taxes"...........well, he's right!

[nxylas]

22. Corporations, billionaires and the M$M

Those are John McCain's "friends".

[L0oniX]

23. Don't bogart that joint "my friend".

[Miss Authoritiva]

24. Three things I asked of John McCain

For some reason, I received from Cindy McCain a birthday card (with a handy postage-paid envelope) to sign and return (along with "a generous contribution") to her husband John, who was soon turning LXXII years old.

The card, which featured a photo of an artistically dewrinkled McCain, also included preprinted “Happy Birthday” copy plus a special lined section for adding one’s own “personal birthday message.” Here’s what I wrote:

http://2.bp.blogspot.com/_FbaTT_Aky10/SKJR3bIoQQI/AAAAAAAAAHs/I_Ns-wcBCqQ/s400/Dear+John.jpg



http://scriptoids.blogspot.com/2008/08/johnny-wants-money-for-his-birthday.html">Via.

[RagAss]

25. In what respect, my friend?

[Shine]

27. Yeah, that fake, folksy "my friends" shit is so ridiculous.

Nice letter, Nance. :yourock:

[Imagevision]

28. Amazing! the best Dear John letter I've ever read... ty, Nance

[nikto]

29. Great Job putting McSCUM in his place!!

The man is truly vile.

He deserves every slam you give him, Nance.

[flamingdem]

30. Robert DeNiro in Taxi Driver meets John McCain

in __________________?

[bridgit]

31. Then be rested instead, and very well assured that he isn't referring to anyone here...

The closest he pretends to being your friend, not to mention mine? Is when he shows up to yuk it up on The Daily Show, and that's it. The rest of the time it's yachts & cocktails w/criminals in Montenegro...pass the word.

[Ken in SF]

33. Now HERE is a great theme for a campaign ad

Nance if only you could get the job of Communications Director for the DNC and/or Obama Campaign. This would make an ass-kicking campaign ad, especially in rust belt.

[NanceGreggs]

35. Hey, thanks Ken in SF ...

... and welcome to the DU family!

:hi:

[dudewheresmycountry]

34. McCain has no friends

This is the sad truth about a human being who sold his soul, if he ever had one, He has been on the public payroll all of his life, I don't know of anytime in his life that he actually received a paycheck that didn´t have a U.S. TREASURY label on it. He like G.W. Bush will live to be a very lonely man, sitting in a rocking chair on the side porch just like the ending picture of God Father III.
Nancy thank you for your truth telling in all that you write. You are an inspiration to me.

[NanceGreggs]

36. And thank YOU, my friend!

Welcome aboard the Good Ship DU, matey!

:hi:

[Bensthename]

37. I am so glad we have people like you in the world... Great post.