You, Too, Can Be a TV Pundit!

[Thom Little]

Do you hold political views that reliably identify you as a Republican or a Democrat? Are you willing to interrupt your busy day or early evening at the drop of a hat to accept a limousine ride to a television studio? Do you enjoy having makeup spackled onto your face with a trowel? Then, do I have a job for you in this holiday season! It doesn't require independent thinking. In fact, independent thinkers need not apply.

.......

Right now the speed-dialing fingers of the bookers at The Situation Room, Scarborough Country, The Big Story (with albino werewolf John Gibson), Hannity & Colmes, Anderson Cooper 360 °, Fox Special Report With Brit Hume, CNN Live Sunday, The O'Reilly Factor, CNN Daybreak, and other shows are in need of fresh faces to field the political questions unearthed by the day's news.

.......

What do you have to do to qualify for the title of strategist? Nothing! Like journalists, political strategists aren't credentialed. If you can get somebody to call you a Democratic strategist, you are one! Just make sure not to take offense if you happen to be a Republican.

Actually, there's a little more to it than that. It helps to have served in Congress or worked on a campaign or a congressional staff; to have done PR or consultancy work for a candidate or office holder; or to possess flowing blond hair. If you've written a partisan book or are employed by a political magazine, you're off to a good start. Good-looking is preferable to ugly. Younger to older, unless you can do that agonized-Clark-Clifford-wise-man thing. Also, feel free to pad your résumé. This gig marries politics to TV, so nobody expects you to be honest.



http://www.slate.com/id/2133067/

[HereSince1628]

1. Oo! Oo! I wanna be a pundit! I wanna be a pundit!

I'll file papers as an LLC that is a political think tank and call it the Bluto Institute. Then I can have gravitas with a title like like Chairman and Senior Fellow of the Bluto Institute.

I could wear a string tie and look like Col. Sanders!

For a fee, I could create ridiculous position papers that justify ANYTHING, even EMPIRE!

I would be a natural for acting indignant and condescending to other pundits who have no clue what the hell my gibberish means.

Oh, Oh! And I could sell mys services to small radical political parties in strategically placed countries all over Asia who want to get their message into the American media...

I thought hope was over and NOW I have a New Year's wish!

:rofl:

[xchrom]

2. don't forget to get the pentagon to give you money

for ''news services''.

[driver8]

3. Exactly! That is a "gravy train" you don't want to miss!! n/t