What the hell am I supposed to do?

[YoungAndOutraged]

I've been unemployed since last October. I was getting unemployment up until Mid-December until I was cut off for reasons that still have not been explained to me. Every time since that I try to apply they say I didn't work long enough to be eligible. My day consists of searching for work online and smoking cigarettes one-after-another until I get so tired that I just go to sleep. I live in middle Georgia in a town that refuses to acknowledge that democrats and liberalism even exist, so whenever I ask for help I get:

"I worked hard to get what I've got and so should you."
"Why should I have to pay to support your lifestyle?"
"Your situation is a result of your own choices."

etc, etc, etc. So asking for help or just a "what can I f'ing do to help myself" is out of the question around here. My entire family, save for my grandparents, are working lower-class who vote Republican even as they work seven days a week just to pay for the bare essentials. The sad thing is, they say they would help me if they had any extra money, yet they blame "the socialists in the government" for not having any money to give.

My grandparents are lucky enough to have jobs, at the moment. I feel like complete garbage because they have to support me due to me not having a job. They make only enough to pay about 90% of what the bills cost each month, so they're not getting anywhere. From the years of 1998 to 2003 I was in and out of mental hospitals due to a depression that I cannot afford to get treated. That's another reason I still live with my grandparents, to keep myself from snapping again and getting sent back to a mental hospital, where I was treated as a criminal and not helped in any way whatsoever, BTW. I'm willing to bet that I would be diagnosed with schizophrenia and/or bipolar disorder if I could afford to see a therapist. (Or if middle Georgia even HAD a therapist.)

So anyway, my question is, what do I do? I'm sincerely asking for suggestions or advice. I've spent countless hours looking for a place online to ask for advice, and DU might possibly be the only place on the internet that I'm not asked to just find a ditch to crawl into and die. I've asked on other sites, and I've asked people in person, and all I get is the standard "pull yourself up by your bootstraps." How do I do that when I don't even have bootstraps? Is this all my own fault? I've never hurt anyone and I've never taken what I didn't do honest work for. Yet I'm reduced to hoping that I get a job from a place that sends job applications straight to the garbage can. I'm told to just start my own business. Doing what? Getting paid to smoke cigarettes? I have no skills. I cannot even drive a car.

I'm not expected anything, and to be honest I don't even know why I'm typing all this. I just need to know if there really are others out there that understand the mess we're in as a country, or if its all in my head and I'm just a crazy, lazy person that expects the world to give me a handout. All I want is an opportunity. The right says that I've been given one, but I'm just too stupid or lazy to see it. If that's all they have to say, then I'd probably be happier if I just died in my sleep. But I don't want that to happen, only because there's no way my grandparents could pay for the funeral. Is this what America is? Those who see greed, selfishness, and narcissism as a virtue are rewarded with everything, at the expense who those who don't have anything to begin with. Oh, but if I open my mouth, then I'm being lazy? How can I not have mental problems when this country is so backwards?

[NMDemDist2]

1. new services available now in GA, maybe they can help?

http://mhddad.dhr.georgia.gov/portal/site/DBHDD/

Georgia Crisis and Access Line
24 Hours, 7 days a week, call 1-800-715-4225
To locate treatment or support services for individuals with mental illness, substance abuse disorders or developmental disabilities, visit http://www.mygcal.com.

[YoungAndOutraged]

5. Thank you very much.

I will check these sites out. Thank you for your time.

[peacebird]

2. Best of luck to you Y&O, I hope things turn around for you soon

:hug:

[YoungAndOutraged]

6. Thank you.

.

[northzax]

3. first and foremost, I am sorry

your situation sounds awful.

you have no skills? then you have a problem. but it's a problem that you can solve, with luck and effort. since you are living with your grandparents, I assume you aren't actually starving and living on the street? that's a good thing. so, what I would suggest you consider is finding a place to volunteer. find a reason to get out of bed in the morning. someone, somewhere in your town, will take free labor to do something. surely there is a school, a camp, a shelter, the pound, go clean up a local park, or a stream. anything so that when you go to bed you can answer your own question about what you did today. If there are no jobs, and I believe that, then make something for yourself to do, even if it doesn't pay anything. and when jobs do starting coming around, you either have better skills for something or when the inevitable 'so what have you been up to since you last worked a year ago?' question comes up, you have an answer.

[YoungAndOutraged]

7. Thank you.

I am lucky enough to not be starving and living on the street, and for that I am thankful. Every day I tell my grandparents how thankful I am. If not for them, I'd have died a long time ago. And thank you for your advice.

[provis99]

4. Damn. I sympathize 100%, but don't have too many answers.

Everyone in middle Georgia is poor, just like everyone in West Virginia is poor, or Mississippi. They obviously aren't poor because of laziness: how could entire states be lazy? Middle Georgia is lazy but Connecticut is not? The problem is the system.

I'd actually feel better if poor folks would stop blaming themselves for their poverty, and start blaming the rich and the economic system, because that's where the problem is. Is Paris Hilton rich because she's a hard worker? No, she's a dimwit who was born with a silver spoon. I think the real problem in Georgia is right-wing attitudes preventing people from seeing that folks like you are getting screwed over by the powers-in-charge, not a lack of ability or willingness.

Just think, our ancestors 1000 years ago were probably able to shelter, feed, and clothe themselves, even if that's all they had, but nowadays there are people with so much money they don't even know how much they have, while schoolkids in Missouri who can't afford school lunch are told by Republican state senators that they should go out and get McDonald jobs, because hunger is a good motivator.

I really wish poor folks WOULD have a sense of entitlement, because in a country with this much wealth, everyone should have an easy life, if the system were a little more just. I disagree with this republican "pull yourself up by the bootstraps philosophy", because that's what rich people who inherit weath always say. My philosophy is if poor folks are poor and unhappy with being poor, they should DEMAND that the government do something on their behalf, otherwise the government only serves the corporations and the powerful.

I don't know how to help you get out of your situation, but it might help mentally to realize that those right-wingers are completely wrong in their beliefs, anti-human in fact in my opinion, and you should be entitled to a righteous anger if the government isn't looking out for your interests, because THAT'S WHAT THE DAMN GOVERNMENT IS THERE FOR!

I'm in the same place sometimes: I had to leave Mississippi because the whole state is pretty much in the shitter, and I couldn't stand the right-wing attitudes there anymore...:pals:

[YoungAndOutraged]

8. Thank you.

Thank you for your post. You are the kind of person that we need in government.

[eilen]

9. I second the poster who said to volunteer

doing something for others will make you feel better for yourself. It can teach you skills, even if the skills are mainly "getting up in the morning and getting somewhere on time." It will also bring more people in your life that will get to know you and have good kind regard for you. They will look to help you. I don't suggest going anywhere as your grandparents sound like good supports and they probably need you too.

What do you enjoy doing? (besides smoking) where are your interests? Can you develop those more?

Don't blame yourself. I wish you didn't have to listen to the dittohead dumbos. Almost every intelligent person I know is aware of the mess we are in. My husband and I saw it back during the Bush 1 years (me back in the reagan era).

[northzax]

11. getting up in the morning and getting somewhere on time

showing up is a ridiculously large part of life, and a skill set too many people haven't developed. it's sad, really.

[HuskiesHowls]

10. My daughter had a similar problem

She couldn't hold a job, it seemed she always was getting in trouble of some kind, she was going to college, drinking too much, and claims she had problems with drugs. However, we were lucky, she was still covered by my health insurance, so could at least go see a therapist. She eventually wound up getting kicked out of college, and would just stay home--the only thing she really did was see her therapist. Her therapist did insist, though, that she join AA, and she has gone to a lot of those meetings.

It turns out that she had some depressive issues, and some anger management issues. The therapist got her in touch with the county mental health people, and she got into a program with a "case manager" and some support from the county. Eventually, the case manager got her onto disability, and that made her eligible for Medicaid, and eventually Medicare. That also got her onto the list for cheap housing, so she wound up living on her own. She was in and out of mental hospitals--sometimes she'd get out and be back in about a month's time.

Its been a long road, but after about 10 years of therapy, and help from the various agencies here in Iowa, she's living on her own, and has even wound up doing some work helping out one of the counseling agencies that has helped her a lot. She's even leading her own group of people who have finished their program and need some ongoing support, so she has come a long way.

It hasn't been easy for her, and it hasn't been cheap for her mother and I( we still pay for her supplemental insurance, her internet, some of her rent and groceries, and various other little things), but it IS possible to get by. We are by no means well off--her mother just got laid off from her job and is going to take early retirement, and I've had my hours cut by 20% at my job, but I look to the future for my daughter, and hope and pray it will get better eventually.

One thing you may want to look into is to see what type of help the county has available. If they can get you hooked up with some type of mental health provider, that may help. If they can help you with something like food stamps, or some type of rent assistance, maybe you can wind up helping your grandparents out some. You should check out what help is available. For right now, you're going to have to advocate for yourself, but if you can get someone else (who knows the red tape a little better) to help out, then things may actually start looking up for you.

I wish you the best of luck....I know its not easy, and it'll just get harder as time goes by...but there IS a better end in sight than you can see right now!!

[SoCalDemGrrl]

12. It's a different world for all of you 20 somethings out there and I sympathize

We are in Southern California (Los Angeles) and our son lost his job and roommate in December
and by March had to move back in with us. He has a few months of unemployment coming to him, but
the whole job loss thing is very demoralizing for him.

Our 23 year old daughter graduated from a great university, got what seemed like a good paying starting salary job and moved out. But last month her company was acquired by another and 100 people were laid off. She kept her job but is now being informed that her weekly salary is being cut by 30% and there is no more overtime.

What I'm saying to you is that it really is tough out there, PLEASE don't take it personally, because the job market is probably the worst it has been since The Great Depression.

Maybe there is a temp agency you can sign up with and that could lead to a permanent job for you.

I really wish you all the best, please don't lose the faith because you have plenty of company out there
and it will get better for all of you young people, it's just something that we all have not experienced
in at least a generation or so.

:) :)

[retiremesoon]

24. BROTHER YOU NAILED IT !!

I lost my job 11 months ago but I'm NOT feeling desperate because of my age.

I am turning 50 soon and I feel the sympathy should go to the 20 something crowd.I left my job with $270,000.,6 months of pay followed by UI for 42 weeks.My wife still works for the Canadian Government and we have FREE health care in Canada.

Someone asked me if I wished I was in my 20's "so I could start over fresh" and I said "NO F@%^$#!! WAY !!

I see people in their 20's trying to get started and then they get laid off over and over.IT REMINDS ME OF A PLANE WITH TOO MUCH LOAD.It's very hard to start out in life while a Depression rages onward.

[northernlights]

13. 3rd on the volunteering

Not only will it get you out there and learning new skills, it will enable you to network with people, which can lead to job leads.

Maybe volunteering in a few different places that do different things will 'cast your net wider' as well.

[DemReadingDU]

14. Barter?

Are you near family or friends? Is it possible you could help them in some way in exchange for food or shelter? In these tough times, it's important to be near loved ones to share and help each other.

[grasswire]

15. what did you do when you worked previously?

Knowing that would help us help you.

And I must comment that you have good communication skills. That's a plus!

[dd20045]

16. your local church may be able to help

i am an atheist, and i dont know if you are a christian, but often churches are great places to network and get help. now the religion aspect is a whole nother story!

[YoungAndOutraged]

18. Thank you for the suggestion

I don't mean to sound rude or un-thankful, but I simply can't step foot into a church of any kind, for any reason. You, being an atheist as well, can understand why, I believe.

[YoungAndOutraged]

17. Well

My first job was stocking shelves at a grocery store, and my second was cutting grass. I've offered to cut people's grass for money on Craigslist and in the paper, but I've only been contacted once, by someone I already knew anyway.

And that's about it. And I'm glad you think I have good communication skills. I've never been told that before. But that's sort of a problem too, because I cannot even have a conversation with a stranger in person without becoming physically distressed. The only way I can communicate normally over the internet is because I know that the person I'm talking to "can't get me" so-to-speak. I doubt I can elaborate on it further without coming off as having extreme self-pity and/or using it for an excuse, but I've been severely depressed for over a decade. Personally I think its far more than just depression, because I've done things such as taking a bus 1000 miles away from home to Pennsylvania for absolutely no valid reason at all, and yelling at people who are not there to leave me alone, when I know they're not there but can't help it. I've been to counselors before, but most of those ended up in week-long trips to mental hospitals, that only made things much, much worse each time.

[grasswire]

19. I'm serious.

Your writing is clean and direct, your grammar and punctuation are good, and your spelling is good, too. I get paid to fix people's written work. I'm telling you that you have competency in written communication.

Here's another thought.

You can work for yourself. The Internet provides many different ways to be self-employed. People do make money in certain ways such as selling advertising on their web site or blog site. And people do sell stuff. Have you ever explored eBay? I have been an eBay dealer for ten years. I buy and sell something I love -- vintage and antique paper items such as postcards. People sell all kinds of things on eBay, new and old. Some people scour garage sales and thrift shops to find old stuff to sell and make money. Some people find new items to sell. There are used book dealers, and sellers of CDs and everything in between. It isn't hard to sell on eBay, and there is a group here on DU that would be happy to talk you through the process and cheer you on.

Maybe you can't wait for a job to come and find you. Maybe you have to make your own. You're smart. You could do that. You could harness the power of the Internet to make a career for yourself.

[spotbird]

22. You've convinced me you have more

then regular depression. Still, take my sunshine advice, it can work miracles and won't hurt.

You probably do need medical intervention, there isn't much out there for free so there will be a wait. Think of it this way, if you start now, you'll get there eventually. In the meantime, contact agencies like the United Way or another community based organization and ask for help as well as volunteer opportunities suited for your disposition. There is nothing lost in trying.

[Xenotime]

20. I'd write a letter to President Obama. He could help.

[spotbird]

21. A free way to try to treat depression

Is to get some sunshine. Sit outside for at least 15 minutes every day in the sun. Really, it could help more then you know.

Is there an place you could even get a McJob within walking distance?

[happyslug]

23. First Apply for SSI, then contact your State Office of Vocational Rehabilitation (OVR)

Both the SSI program and your state's OVR program are Federally Funded (The state can provide additional funding but most states south of the Mason Dixon line do no).

Now the Office of Vocational Rehabilitation (OVR) is federally funded, but it is funded to help people who need training to perform work in the national economy (Notice the difference in definition as to what is "Disability" it is possible for someone to be on SSI do to "an inability to perform work in the National Economy", the Social Security Test for disability AND to be able "to be able to be trained to do work" (The OVR definition of Disability). My point you can not only apply for both programs, you can be eligible for BOTH PROGRAMS.

Now in my home state of Pennsylvania, OVR does an excellent job of retraining people and placing people in jobs the exist and people with limitations can do. The first thing OVR does is do an evaluation of you, including a mental evaluation to determine what jobs you can do. For example you suffer for depression thus you can NOT do high stress jobs (Like working at a local fast food restaurant) but may be able to do low stress jobs with little interaction with the public. OVR will then give you a list of jobs that your physical and mental restrictions permit you to do. You get the option of picking one you think you can do and are trained in that occupation.

Overall OVR does a good jobs placing their graduates, thus I recommend that you contact them and see what they can do for you.

More on OVR in Georgia:
http://www.vocrehabga.org/lev2a.html

OVR location by City in Georgia:
http://www.dol.state.ga.us/find_voc_rehab_offices.htm

SSI is for people who can NOT work and do NOT have a long enough work history to get Social Security Disability. The test for SSI (Which stands for Supplemental Security Income) and Social Security Disability is the same from a disability point of view, the only difference is eligible (Social Security Disability is based on your work history, SSI is not). One of the side affects of applying for SSI is Social Security will pay for mental evaluation from a work related point of view.

Side note: If you apply for SSI and are denied, file the appeal. 60% of the people on SSI is on SSI do to Mental disability (Your history of Depression may be enough). The reason for this high percentage is most people with physical disability worked prior to being physically disabled, people with mental disorders tend to be fired time after time and thus have no real work history. One of the affect is at the first level of applying for SSI, the record is NOT complete as to what jobs a person with your restrictions do to your mental limitations, but at a Hearing in front of an Administrative Law Judge (ALJ) a Vocational Expert (VE) will be present at the hearing to testify what a person with limitations imposed on you by your mental problems can and can not do. It is then up to the ALJ to decide if the restrictions imposed on you actually exists, and if they do then you are disabled do to the fact you can NOT work.

If you apply for SSI and are denied, file the appeal (do not wait to see an attorney, just go down to the Social Security Office and ask to file an appeal, fill out the one page form and give it back. There is only a limited time to file the appeal so do so as soon after you receive the denial as possible). Then contact your local Federal funded Legal Services agency. Most Legal Services Agencies will represent people applying for SSI free.

[YoungAndOutraged]

25. Thanks, I'll be sure to check those out.

.

[Hannah Bell]

26. 1. feeling like garbage isn't good for your mental health, so, in addition to the other good advice

you've gotten, you might (if you're not already), give a couple hours/day to your g-parents (treat it like a job) doing stuff like cleaning, gardening, minor repairs & home improvement, or whatever they need done.

you're right that things are f----d but people tend to perceive bitching about it negatively - even if they basically agree with you. & the fact is, people tend to discount your opinions even more if you're unemployed. not saying that's right, but that's the reality. & that feedback, even if not expressed overtly, will make you feel worse. so don't set yourself up. contribute what you can & write, volunteer, etc. as political outlet. you'll feel better about yourself & so will your g-parents.