What's something you wish you'd know about weddings before you had one?

[BlueIris]

Just asking.

[Pool Hall Ace]

1. to skip it.

[trof]

2. My own? Nothing, really. My daughter's? Well...

At my own wedding, I was as hungover as the goat that got into the sour mash.
At one point I dropped the prayer book and was afraid to bend over to pick it up because I thought I might just...keep...on...going...down.
(I managed to successfully retrieve it. :-) )

Planning for my daughter's wedding we hired a florist for the flowers.
Two days before the event I learned that that florist had no record of our previous meeting.
We found another in time.
:eyes:

[Phentex]

3. When they say rehearse, they mean it!...

Ours was not traditional. A little of "you say this, and he says that and I'll announce you husband and wife"...yeah yeah we got it.

Entire ceremony was six minutes long.

I got dressed up for that? :shrug:

[Very_Boring_Name]

11. heh, my sisters was exactly the same way

No rehearsal, ceremony was about 5 minutes. I'm not complaining though, she got married on a beach in the Dominican Republic... wearing a suit and a tie in 95° weather for 5 minutes was long enough.

[ScreamingMeemie]

4. We got married by a JP...so there's really nothing I needed to know.

It was perfect, and lots cheaper.

[Forkboy]

5. That I was expected to be there.

[dixiegrrrrl]

34. God, you DO crack me up a lot.

:rofl:

[LuckyTheDog]

6. Simple is best (nt)

[rurallib]

7. the lack of an expiration date.

[hippywife]

8. To take the extra time to

spend with everyone there and to engrave the whole thing in my memory. To take the time to enjoy every minute of it. It was one giant blur and I wish I could do it over again to spend that extra time to talk to my grandpa, and my aunts, and to have had all of my great aunts there. We were trying to keep it small as possible and I left people off the invitation list that I now wish I had not.

[Missy Vixen]

9. Here's the short list

1. Everything, start to finish - five hours.

2. If you're going to spend money anywhere, spend it on the rings and the photos or video. They are the only things left the next morning, and the photos are the item you will treasure most as the years go by.

3. It doesn't matter if you spent $30,000 or $300: You'll still be married.

4. A wedding is the most emotionally exhausting experience I have ever been through. Give yourself a lot of time to relax and recharge afterward.

5. The best part of a wedding is having everyone you love that loves you in one area. The worst part of a wedding is having everyone you love that loves you in one area. If there is a relative or friend that will run interference for you and keep you away from brawling/unhappy family members or other stress-producing things, it's a good thing to enlist them.

6. We had a wedding in front of family and friends September 18, 1993. We had a vow renewal in front of three other people July 9, 2003. If I had it to do over again, I would have gone with door #2.

Of course, this is IMHO, YMMV.

[truedelphi]

30. Excelloent list.

Did you do that off the top of your head, with a great deal of luck and inspiration, or have you been married like eight times?

In any event, I thought it was a cool answer.

[Skittles]

10. never had one

I never felt the need to inflict that kind of torment on a man

[Missy Vixen]

13. Skittles, c'mon

Torment?

You didn't meet anyone that deserved to be as happy as you could make him.

TRUTH.

;-)

[Skittles]

22. lol.....Missy

you'd have to know me to understand :D

[Deep13]

12. Relatives think it is about them.

We would have avoided the petty, but hurtful bullshit and eloped.

[Missy Vixen]

14. The best tip yet

One of the books I read while engaged was written by a psychologist and mentioned the fact that not everyone would be happy for you and your betrothed. Of course, nobody talks about this...

[Tuesday Afternoon]

15. that a fiancee and a husband are two different things.

[truedelphi]

29. That's a great answer.

And in some cases the big differences are amusing, and then there are the Nicole Simpson's.

[stuntcat]

16. To have a professional do my hair, not a roommate.

We need a re-do of our wedding so we'll have photos where we don't both have stupid hair.

[Bunny]

17. Don't get so caught up in the wedding that you forget you're getting married.

Keep it simple. Try to avoid all the trendy "traditions" like unity candles, sand ceremonies, and etc. Aim for dignity - bridesmaids and groomsmen dancing and doing cartwheels up the aisle to some obnoxious rap song is the opposite of dignified. Save that crap for the reception. If you're using an Elvis impersonator to officiate, try to find one who does young skinny Elvis as compared to old fat Elvis.

[Mad_Dem_X]

24. +1

[OwnedByFerrets]

18. That they come with a contract?

[av8rdave]

19. All the stuff that comes after the wedding

[MorningGlow]

20. Do what you and your intended want, not what everyone else wants

Yes, take the advice of elder relatives when it comes to the guest list, because they can remember all the second-cousins-once-removed if you're into inviting your extended family, and they can remind you not to put Aunt Bessie and Cousin Cletis at the same table if they've been feuding for 30 years. But when it comes to choosing the different smaller elements of the wedding? Nod and smile at everyone else's advice, then do your own thang.

Also, before I got married I read the greatest bit of advice--if you're on a tight budget, determine what's most important to you and splurge on that. For me, it was flowers. We skipped the video (we're not big "let's watch a video of us doing stuff" people) and a formal photographer and put that money into really incredible flower arrangements. I never regretted it.

Keep it simple. You retain more of your hair that way.

Be zen about stuff. Shit is gonna go wrong; there's no point in being a bridezilla about it. Just take a breath and deal. And laugh about it afterward.

[Patiod]

21. Read "Altared"

Altared: Bridezillas, Bewilderment, Big Love, Breakups, and What Women Really Think About Contemporary Weddings
by Colleen Curran

A collection of essays where the authors (all women) talk about their weddings - big, small, formal, backyard, great and disastrous. I used to buy it as a gift for any of my girlfriends who were getting married. Just so good, so sweet, so realistic.

I really, really hate the idea of "its MY big day" "it's all about ME, the BRIDE". I hate the idea of a white dress, the veil, my dad "giving me away", of all the patrimonial trappings. I hate the stupid Wedding Industrial Complex (favors? really?)

But the stories in this book reminded me that it's about the relationship. I have been with the same guy for 19 years, and we have no plans to marry. This book is as close as I've ever been to wanting an Official Wedding.

[BlueIris]

33. Thanks. I've been horrified by how much of an industry it is, and by how

profoundly screwed up the mass culture has made weddings.

[flvegan]

23. To not get married. n/t

[Sweet Freedom]

25. Well,

1) The ceremony is over faster than you can say, "I do".
2) The whole thing was huge waste of money
3) Many of the people who were there didn't need to be
4) My daughter would never in a million years wear my gown
5) That I'd eventually get divorced :)

[Kali]

26. ...

[Digit]

27. The "real" husband that appears after the ring is on

Sheesh

[Moondog]

28. Don't. No matter how good an idea it seems to be - it isn't.

Run away!!!

[Beaverhausen]

31. That getting married on the beach at sunset with 6 close friends would be fantastic...

...and really all we needed.

Since our family is spread across the country, we don't have a lot of money, and I am not a planner, we did it simply and cheaply with a few close friends.

And it was a magical wedding.

adding that your wedding should be what you want it to be, and not what anyone or everyone else wants.

[denbot]

32. I should not have waited until two weeks before my 50th b.d. to get hitched.

Marring Alley was the smartest thing I've ever done.

[BlueIris]

35. Nice. nt