Hilarious prank calls to FAO Schwarz.

[A HERETIC I AM]

Next, I called about the $15,000 miniature pony pictured at right. I don't know whether to be amused or disturbed that they were out of the ponies. I've never spent $15,000 on a car, and cars (unlike horses) do not require you to shovel their dung.

I have to say that the FAO Schwarz customer service reps are some of the most polite I've ever pranked; it's almost impossible to get them to hang up on you. Then again, when they're asking you to drop $15 large on your kid, they'd better be able to shovel a lot of dung themselves. (Metaphorically).

FAO SCHWARZ: Thank you for calling FAO Schwarz. This is Maria, how can I help you?

JOHN HARGRAVE: I have a question about the $15,000 miniature pony, item #843607.

FAO: OK. I'm looking that up for you now, sir. I'm, ah, I'm showing that all of our ponies are backordered right now.

JH: Oh, goodness. Pumpkin is going to be quite disappointed.

FAO: Is there anything else I can help you with?

JH: Let me ask you a few questions, so I'll know whether I want to put the midget pony on backorder.

FAO: Yes, sir. I'll try to answer the best I can.

JH: How heavy a rider can this thing support?

FAO: Let's see here ... it says the maximum weight is 50 pounds.

JH: So it couldn't handle a 180-pound child?

FAO: No sir. It says MAXIMUM weight of 50 pounds.

JH: Well, it says ages 3-6, but then it says maximum weight 50 pounds, and it seems like the two are contradictory. At least in our case.

FAO: FAO Schwarz recommends a maximum weight of 50 pounds. I don't know how to resolve that.

JH: Probably by putting her back on the Slim-Fast. Now, also, when will the horse get too old to ride?

FAO: They don't have that question listed here. If you like, I can send your question along to our Research Team, and they can look into it for you.

JH: I'd appreciate that. I just want to know when the horse gets too old to ride, and whether we can use it for food.

FAO: OK. OK. I can certainly send that off to them, and have them research that for you.

JH: Because I think what my daughter would really like is a gift that you could ride for a few years, and then eat.

FAO: OK.

JH: And believe me, she'll eat ANYTHING.

FAO: OK. If there's anything else I can do for you, I thank you for calling FAO Schwarz, and you have a nice evening.

JH: Yeah. I'm just a little nervous she'll want to eat it more than she wants to ride it.

FAO: OK, well, I certainly thank you. Good night.

JH: Hey, Maria?

FAO: Yes sir?

JH: Do you have any used or injured horses you could sell me at a discount?

FAO: Well, I can certainly send that question in to the Research Team, and they'll contact you, OK?

JH: Can you summarize my questions again? I want to make sure the Research Team has all of them.

FAO: You asked: When the horse gets too old, what can you do with it? Then you also wanted to know when the horses would be available again. And you might have axed another question that I didn't get. What's your last question?

JH: Whether they can recommend any good horse recipes.

FAO: OK. OK, sir...

JH: Horse souffle?

FAO: OK. Is that all, sir?

JH: Um ... horse waffles?

FAO: I don't think they would have anything like that, because FAO Schwarz does not ... they don't ... they don't recommend that no one eat the horse. They want people to ride the horse, not eat the horse. No sir.

JH: I was thinking "horse d'ouvres" would be tasty. Like, little bite-sized morsels of horse.

FAO: Sir, unfortunately I have no idea what you are speaking about right now.

JH: Horsels! Tender, juicy horsels.

FAO: I'm sorry, but I'm going to need to hang up this call right now.

JH: OK, that's fair, Maria. Thanks for your time.

FAO: Thank you for calling FAO Schwarz.


"Little bite-sized morsels of horse. Horsels!"

:spray: :rofl:

More here;
http://www.zug.com/pranks/faoschwarz/index02.html

[vadawg]

1. the visualisation this brings up is hysterical.

[A HERETIC I AM]

2. Check out this one about the $19,000 childrens playhouse.

http://www.zug.com/pranks/faoschwarz/

[Rhythm]

3. I've been on the low end of this totem pole before

And though i'm sure you were having a great time, that poor CSR had no choice but to suffer through this (since these calls are generally monitored) in order for you to get your amusement at her expense.

Barely-above-minimum-wage is not enough to make and have to put up with this kind of stuff. :eyes:

[A HERETIC I AM]

4. I didn't make the call.

I just found the website and thought it was funny.

Sorry if you feel you've been abused in the past.

It's funny, that's all.

[Rhythm]

5. "Feel i've been abused"??? WTF?!

Trust me on this, the torture of being on the other end of a call like that is unimaginable.
It's abusive crap like that which drove me out of that line of work.

Glad you didn't make that particular call, but i'm also sorry that anyone finds stuff like that funny.
Whoever made the call is a sadistic asshat.