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Idle question: How do I know if I've contracted the Ebola virus?

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arbusto_baboso Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Thu May-07-09 06:17 PM
Original message
Idle question: How do I know if I've contracted the Ebola virus?
Second question: How many of you have I needlessly panicked?
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Rabrrrrrr Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Thu May-07-09 06:18 PM
Response to Original message
1. You'll find out in the autopsy.
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arbusto_baboso Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Thu May-07-09 06:19 PM
Response to Reply #1
4. Okay, but who should I autopsy?
And do they have to be entirely dead before I start?
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dugaresa Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Thu May-07-09 06:19 PM
Response to Original message
2. you know when you start hemorrhaging brain matter onto your keyboard
through your nose.

does that help?
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arbusto_baboso Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Thu May-07-09 06:21 PM
Response to Reply #2
8. How can I tell brain matter from snot?
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sarge43 Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Thu May-07-09 07:19 PM
Response to Reply #8
13. Brain matter usually doesn't contain boogers.
YMMV
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rucky Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Thu May-07-09 06:19 PM
Response to Original message
3. I think you'll start liquifying from the inside out...
in about 24-48 hours.

Keep us posted.
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arbusto_baboso Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Thu May-07-09 06:21 PM
Response to Reply #3
9. Hell, that happens when I eat Domino's Pizza....
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rucky Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Thu May-07-09 06:23 PM
Response to Reply #9
11. Next time you order, ask them to hold the monkey.
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Pierre.Suave Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Thu May-07-09 06:20 PM
Response to Original message
5. Hemorrhagic Fever?
Should not be too difficult...
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TZ Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Thu May-07-09 06:20 PM
Response to Original message
6. easy-
You'd be bleeding out of every single mucus membrane. And considering that I used to handle monkey samples that *potentially* had Ebola? You don't scare me...:rofl:
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TZ Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Thu May-07-09 06:20 PM
Response to Original message
7. dupe
Edited on Thu May-07-09 06:22 PM by TZ
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HiFructosePronSyrup Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Thu May-07-09 06:22 PM
Response to Original message
10. When you shit your liver out and it's much more runny than usual.
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sarge43 Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Thu May-07-09 06:48 PM
Response to Original message
12. You still alive?
You probably haven't.
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hobbit709 Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Thu May-07-09 07:27 PM
Response to Original message
14. If you're still alive-you didn't have it.
Edited on Thu May-07-09 07:28 PM by hobbit709
Panic? I let everyone else panic and then watch the fun.
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backwoodsbob Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Thu May-07-09 07:29 PM
Response to Original message
15. if your forearm falls off while you're typing
you have ebola
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The Velveteen Ocelot Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Thu May-07-09 08:08 PM
Response to Original message
16. Being messily dead would be a good clue.
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