How can I get through to her? (a smallish rant)

[trof]

Today I turned off lights and TV that no one was using/watching twice.
Turned off lights in the kitchen once.
Turned off the lights (3) in her bathroom twice.

She's a sweet lady and I love her a lot.
We've been married for 39 years.
Pretty much happily most of the time.

But the days of cheap electric power are OVER.
You just can't leave stuff on when you're not using it any more.
It's MONEY.
It's costing us MONEY.

We are retired and trying to make it on one of those 'limited incomes' you read about.

I don't want to be a nag.
And when I gently remind her she says she'll do better, but she also gets a bit tight-lipped about my reminder.
And she 'does better' for a day or so.

I wish we were wealthy enough that I could just say "Aw the hell with it. It's not worth the aggravation."
But we're not.

Any suggestions?
Thanks.
:-(

[Orsino]

1. Motion sensors and timers. Lower-wattage bulbs.

And respect.

[trof]

4. Oh we have a ton of mutual respect.

That's not a problem at all.
And we have low wattage bulbs.
Florescents.
But they still use electricity.
Even when no one needs the light.

Motion sensors?
Yeah, I'll go out and spend even more money on those.
:sarcasm:
How about just turning out the damn lights?

[Orsino]

8. What compromises have each of you proposed?

They might point the way to middle ground, with no backing down needed.

[KitchenWitch]

2. Sell it to her like the following.

"We can leave the lights/tv/small appliances on all we want, but then we cannot afford for you to go get your hair/nails done or go out to eat once a week/month - (whatever little extravagances you may budget for)."

[trof]

5. Well, she does her own hair and nails.

She doesn't even 'go shopping' any more.
She has really cut back on spending.
But she just can't seem to remember this thing about turning stuff off.

[KitchenWitch]

9. Well, just keep turning the lights off like you have been.

Is it worth a big conflict to save a few sheckles on the electric bill?

[Parche]

3. Tell Her

You are going to have Carl Icahn or Frank Lorenzo come after her....!!

:rofl: :rofl: :rofl: :hi:


What KitchenWitch said!!

[trof]

6. Two of my favorite guys.

:puke:

[Midlodemocrat]

7. trof, you know I love you, but I think you're wrong. Let it go.

It's not worth it and it's just going to make her feel badly about herself. Turn the lights off yourself. I do because the kids don't remember to.


It's not enough money to make a fit. Environmentally, obviously, it could be an issue, but maybe you should do it if it bothers you that much.

Here's an example. Mr. Midlo can't stomach open kitchen cabinets. He insists on shutting them, even when I am in the morning rush making the kids breakfast as well as packing their lunches. He's now banned from the kitchen until they leave for the bus, or he has to sit at the table and not shut the cabinets.

[tigereye]

16. my husband has learned not to get in my way when it's pre-school rush

and I try not to get in the way of his tai chi and sword exercises...





as far as the lights go, I try to remember myself - and I often do. I think sometimes people remember when you don't bug em about it and it comes to them on their own.

[Flaxbee]

10. If she's cut back on spending, really reining it in, does her

own nails, hair, etc., then give this a rest. Turn them off yourself.
Then whenever she comes back into the room and has to turn the TV on, or the lights on, or whatever, maybe it will gradually sink in.

Or, find out the amount of money it costs per hour to have one light on, or the tv on all the time, and point out the accumulative effect. Showing her something concrete might help.

My landlords used to go into my place (I rented a studio out back) and turn my lights off, even though I'd left a light on because I'd be coming home after dark. Once I left a light on all WEEKEND! They turned it off and I found out the light on all weekend cost a whopping 25 cents. I sent them a cease and desist letter (obnoxious, yes, but I was in my first year of law school, so what do you expect?).

But the point it - it cost a quarter. Find out how much your wife's habit is costing you, and show her. Otherwise, turn the lights off yourself; after 39 years, the aggravation it causes isn't worth it.

[JitterbugPerfume]

11. yeah, I know what you mean

every time my son visits he leaves the bathroom light on and it drives me crazy. The really weird thing about that is , he pays my electric AND gas bills .
He is a good son, so I forgive him.

She is a good wife--forgive her:loveya: :hi:

[Texasgal]

12. Growing up

My Father was maniacal about turning off lights and shutting doors. We live in Texas so shutting doors to garages or un-used rooms was essential.

Finally, after a childhood of " TURN OFF THE DAMN LIGHTS" and "SHUT THAT DAMN DOOR" it has been carved in my psyche.

I am now an absolute NUT about turning out lights and shutting doors... that and using coasters under drinks. :)

Give it time. Continue to gently "remind"... it'll happen and she will remember. :)

[Generic Brad]

13. Start leaving the toilet seat up

And keep it up after every use until she mentions it. Then you can tell her that you will "try to do better" if only she remembers to turn out the lights.

I know how to negotiate passive aggressively.

[petronius]

14. I just go around and turn things off. We discuss money, but we each

practice frugality where we can - for some reason my wife really likes light (and various other appliances), so all the nagging in the world won't help. (And truly, in my case, most of those topics are of the "And why beholdest thou the mote that is in thy brother's eye, but considerest not the beam that is in thine own eye?" variety...)

[Skittles]

15. just kick her ASS already, old fart

takes me back to when I was a kid and dad was always screaming about the lights :D

[Rowdyboy]

17. Trof, I have no earthly idea why my guy has tolerated me for 20 years....Maybe its love

that lets you get by. Remember there are only two rules:

1) Don't sweat the small stuff
2) Its all small stuff

I forget and leave water running outside in the garden overnight frequently. I burn food and overflow the sink regularly because I'm distracted by the news or my thoughts. I'm remarkably immature for a 54 year old man but he apparently loves me anyway. I've tried to do better but I often fail. What can I say?

[trof]

18. Well, I got to vent, anyway. Thanks for all the comments.

When I retired and became a stay-at-home husband, I soon learned that my primary domestic duty was to periodically patrol the premises and be
The Turner Offer.
Turner Outer?
Whatever.
I guess I will continue in that capacity for the foreseeable future.
:-)

[suninvited]

19. Without being a nag

make a project out of it. Maybe she doesnt realize how much this habit of leaving lights on really costs.

At the same time every day, read your meter and write down the numbers with normal usage for about three days. Then make the fourth day where you both make an very speacial effort to turn everything you are not using off. When you read the meter the next day, figure out how much difference in kwh were used, and do the math.

Multiply your savings by 30 days, and she can see for herself how much is saved by making that special effort every day.

[UndertheOcean]

20. Just turn the lights off by yourself , without making a fuss about it

[mnhtnbb]

21. My hubby does the same thing. He never turns off a light. I just turn them

off for him.

What he doesn't do that bothers me more is not to lock the doors at night when he's the last one to bed.
That really bothers me.

[Eurobabe]

22. Make HER pay the electric bill

those lights and that TV will get turned off in a hurry. :hi:

[rug]

23. Lock her in a room with a candle.