The worst thing you ever said to your mother.

[Pryderi]

When I was 17, my mother was so angry that she called me a "son of a bitch".

I told her it wasn't my fault. She tried to slap me.

Teenagers are assholes.

[machI]

1. I would put "Mom, I'm in jail" at the top of the list. n/t

[MrSlayer]

2. "I owe a mob guy $750"

And of course she bailed me out.

[zanne]

3. I'd be dead if I ever said anything insulting to my mother.

She didn't deserve it, anyway.

[Crazy Dave]

4. I said, "That's bullshit!"

She's widowed twice, retired and lives in a small house on our property. She gets bored when the wife and I are at work and talks to anybody that walks by. Anybody and tells them everything and if someone claims they can trim our trees or make repairs on our house for $20 she lets them in the yard and do as they please. We've told her many times not to do this yet she waits till we're gone and lets the people back in. She says, "God will protect us and won't let anything happen" and one day I had heard it once too often and said "that's bullshit!".

God didn't protect the house my wife and I live in when she waited until we were gone and snuck some so-called "tree experts" in that we told her not to. They ripped out all my electrical and phone wires and badly damaged the house where they were attached, told mom to pay them $80 and they would come right back and fix the wires and house which they never did and it cost my wife and I $800 to get everything fixed.

[BarenakedLady]

5. "Fuck You."

I still remember that hot feeling in the pit of my stomach when I realized I had said it aloud staring her in the face.

Surprisingly, she did nothing but give me a cold stare.

We are ok now. Heh.

[Aristus]

8. I said that to my mother. She didn't give me a cold stare; She slapped me across the face.

I was too old to spank, so that really did the trick. Didn't hurt a bit, if I remember correctly, but it sure was humiliating. She did the right thing.

[moriah]

6. I said she was fucking crazy and needed help.

But I wasn't lying.

She was absolutely, totally convinced that I was in a mind control cult and having sex with a 40-year-old woman AND a 60-year-old man, was doing cocaine and meth, and had multiple abortions. She was also convinced she had lice even after six treatments with RID and pouring fabric softener all over herself when someone told her that it would get rid of lice. (And she was wondering why she was losing hair and her skin was flaking off....)

At first I thought she was just being influenced by the church she was in -- I had converted to Paganism and was considering staying for the summer up at a place out in the boonies because I'd been offered a job at the health food store in that town. I was only 19 and my mother and I had been close (and she'd had no problem with Paganism for several years), so when the boss lady asked me to invite Mom out there to meet her, her husband, and their eight-year-old child, I took her up there. She flipped out a few weeks later about the idea of me going up there, but also about me being Pagan, and she told my GRANDMOTHER that I was a Satanist. It was my grandmother's house and when Granny heard that she said I either had to start going to church twice a week with her or move out. So I did -- with the people Mom was so freaked out about.

Mom begged me to come home, so I did, but she wasn't better yet. She asked me to go with her to her therapist, so I did, and she pulled out my retractible lipstick brush, the one that she must have found by going through my stuff, and was convinced that the slight residue of baby powder was cocaine and pulled it out like it was proof that everything she thought was correct. I said "I can assure you it's not cocaine or any other kind of drug, but if you thought it might be cocaine, why didn't you lick it to see if it numbed your tongue? You know about that from living with my father."

She stammered but kept telling the therapist that she was right and it was proof I was a horrible drug user. That was when I said she was fucking crazy and needed help, and offered to take a drug test right then and there to prove to both her AND her therapist that I wasn't strung out if it would convince her to get that help.

Apparently she had told her therapist I was on meth because lots of walking and coming off of BCPs had made me lose weight, upon meeting me the therapist could see that I was not strung out, spoke with me privately, and then referred her to a real psychiatrist. THEN she started getting better.

[noonwitch]

7. Oh, man, I'm glad that she got help, though.

The fabric softener thing is pretty freaky.

[moriah]

9. No kidding.

On both counts. She's doing much better.

The fabric softener thing was really awful -- all it did was make her itch worse.

But she did one thing that topped even the fabric softener...

...

She voted for Bush. And regrets it bitterly.