argh. i can't write.

[mopinko]

i'm gonna be in an art magazine. a lot of the article was my writing, stuff i supplied to the writer. the article got better and better placement as it got kicked around, and i gave them more input.
so, they asked me to send them another page, just me.
my head hurts. i have been working my butt off, as i have a big show coming up. the white sox are in the playoffs. the buttons have been going gangbusters. just took my 4th trip to iowa.
i'm tired. i can't think.
argh.

[leeroysphitz]

1. A little Absinthe and that page will practically write itself.

Goo luck!

[mopinko]

3. i picked sleep instead, although

somehow looking at it now, i am having a hard time not hanging around here.
not quite as braindead as i was last night.

[yewberry]

2. Do you need someone to look at it?

Let me know.

I edit. Sometimes even for fun.

[mopinko]

4. ok, can you read this.? it is still a little raw. it is a companion to a larger

article about the artist's co-op that i belong to.
i have to get some housework done.
.........................................................................

as humans there is always a tension between our need for community and our drive to be ourselves. for artists, this struggle can be especially intense. we make our livings by sharing our deepest selves, our most personal thoughts, being the separate one. we need not only to know ourselves, but to explain ourselves to others. and to do it in a way that others “like”. and recognize. and understand. and maybe even pay for. hard. it requires a strong individual.
at the same time, the distasteful reality of bills and complexities of families to feed can force us to band together to survive. for 37 years, the midwest clay guild has straddled this gap, providing both room for the self, and the threads of community.

artist’s co-op can be an oxymoron. we are all intensely individual. we all approach the task of making differently. not just in the variety of work that is produced, which ranges from production pottery to conceptual works, to one of a kind sculpture, and even paintings. even our approach to the work itself varies- some “make it a job”, coming in every day, keeping standing orders filled. others squeeze artmaking into busy lives, with jobs and families.
we are in different places regarding our goals and careers, with members who are just starting out, and members who have been working artists their whole long lives. we are all in very different places in our own process, some comfortable with a collection of forms and colors, others actively wandering through the possibilities of our medium. we all wobble along on the continuum from individual to citizen of the group. making a whole of these parts can be difficult.
the physical requirements of producing ceramics certainly push one toward the collective action side of the scale. the necessities are a heavy burden on a single artist. the costs of kiln and equipment. the shear physical burden of a ton or so of clay. the need to fill a kiln in order to fire. the marathon of wood firing. all are made more bearable when shared.

[yewberry]

5. Some ideas

There are a few problems with clarity and grammar (though I know that some of that is simply your voice and not at all an "error.")

¶1
S1-misplaced modifier. Maybe try as humans, we all feel a tension between our need for...

S4 and following-very staccato. Consider something like, we need not only to know ourselves, but to explain ourselves to others and to do it in a way that others “like.” and recognize. and maybe even pay for. it's hard, and it requires strength and belief in oneself as an individual. at the same time, the distasteful reality of bills and complexities of families can force us to band together to survive. for 37 years, the midwest clay guild has helped bridge this gap, providing both room for the self and the threads of community.


¶2
S1-starts a little weak. Think about something like, 'artist’s co-operative' can feel like an oxymoron.

S3 and following-Try to tighten up and avoid repetition. Maybe all of us approach the task of making differently, not just in the variety of work that is produced-- ranging from production pottery to conceptual works, to sculpture, and even paintings--but in our approach to the work itself. some make it a "job," coming in every day, keeping standing orders filled. others squeeze artmaking into busy lives alongside jobs and families.

Penultimate idea-Try to tie this all together. Consider the necessities are a heavy burden on a single artist: the costs of kiln and equipment, the sheer physical burden of a ton or so of clay, the need to fill a kiln in order to fire, the marathon of wood firing. all are made more bearable when shared.



I hope that isn't too much. Your voice has been clear throughout, and the balance that you're trying to highlight is clear. Nice job. And remember to keep punctuation inside your quotes! :)

Please ask if any of this is unclear or misses the mark.

[mopinko]

6. thanks so much

usually i find writing enjoyable, and the only hard part is cutting things down to the proper size. this time, it was just painful. i just kept coming at it at the end of long tiring days. maybe it is just the idea that this is actually for a magazine.
i still miss having my daughter around (moved out 5 years ago.). she was a very good editor, and loved the chance to criticize me.
thanks. you were very helpful.