RACCOON!

[Lethe]

Holy shit there was a big ass raccoon on my back porch!

That's the bastard who's been eating my cat's food! (the bag was torn to ribbons)

[jeff30997]

1. Was the raccoon named Rocky ?

Now somewhere in the black mountain hills of dakota
There lived a young boy named rocky raccoon
And one day his woman ran off with another guy
Hit young rocky in the eye, rocky didnt like that
He said Im gonna get that boy
So one day he walked into town
Booked himself a room in the local saloon

Rocky raccoon checked into his room
Only to find gideons bible
Rocky had come equipped with a gun
To shoot off the legs of his rival
His rival it seems had broken his dreams
By stealing the girl of his fancy
Her name was magil and she called herself lil
But everyone knew her as nancy

Now she and her man who called himself dan
Were in the next room at the hoe down
Rocky burst in and grinning a grin
He said danny boy this is a showdown
But daniel was hot - he drew first and shot
And rocky collapsed in the corner

Now the doctor came in stinking of gin
And proceeded to lie on the table
He said rocky you met your match
And rocky said, doc its only a scratch
And Ill be better, Ill be better doc as soon as I am able

Now rocky raccoon he fell back in his room
Only to find gideons bible
Gideon checked out and he left it no doubt
To help with good rockys revival...

:)

[Lethe]

3. somehow i doubt McCartney wrote a song about this raccoon

but i did...it's called:

THE CAT FOOD THIEF

This happened once before,
When you came to my door,
No reply.

They said it wasn't you,
But I saw you peep through my cat door,

I saw the light, I saw the light,
I know that you saw me,
'cause I looked up to see your face.

[Critters2]

2. That happens to me all the time! Cat food should really be called

Raccoon Food that Cats Will Eat Given the Opportunity"

Raccoons can smell cat food half a continent away, I swear!

[raccoon]

4. Gosh, I thought you were talking about me!

I thought maybe you were calling me out, like I dreamed about the other night.

Can you keep the cat's food inside where the wildlife can't get to it?