19 Things That It Took Me 50 Years To Learn

[The Straight Story]

19 Things That It Took Me 50 Years To Learn

By Dave Barry...


1. Never under any circumstances take a sleeping pill and a laxative on the same night.
2. If you had to identify, in one word, the reason why the human race has not achieved, and never will achieve, its full potential, that word would be “meetings”.
3. There is a very fine line between “hobby” and “mental illness.”
4. People who want to share their religious views with you almost never want you to share yours with them.
5. And when God, who created the entire universe with all of its glories, decides to deliver a message to humanity, He WILL NOT use, as His messenger, a person on cable TV with a bad hairstyle.
6. You should not confuse your career with your life.
7. No matter what happens, somebody will find a way to take it too seriously.
8. When trouble arises and things look bad, there is always one individual who perceives a solution and is willing to take command. Very often, that individual is crazy.
9. Nobody cares if you can’t dance well. Just get up and dance.
10. Never lick a steak knife.

rest here
http://www.hyndsite.com/sillythings/silly--thingsilearned.htm

[trof]

1. NEVER eat directly from the oil fondue cooking fork.

[DebJ]

2. #3 plus #6 spells even more trouble, LOL, when hobby and

career mesh.

[SalmonChantedEvening]

3. Concerning #3

I have over 50,000 baseball cards.

Help.

;)

[baldguy]

5. See #6

[undeterred]

4. Regarding #4

You can substitute the word political for religious... and it works.

[baldguy]

6. 18. A person who is nice to you, but rude to the waiter, is not a nice person.

Having been a waiter...

[Breeze54]

7. never believe them when they say they've had a vasectomy either!

:P