Do you have a favorite joke based on wordplay/pun?

[TroglodyteScholar]

Examples:

- Two cannibals are eating a clown. One turns to the other and says, "Does this taste funny to you?"

- Did you hear about the constipated mathematician? Yea, he finally worked it out with a pencil.

- How do you kill the circus? Go for the juggler! (jugular)


Okay, now you....

[Lil Missy]

1. Did you hear about the proctologist that was up to his elbows in work?

[TroglodyteScholar]

5. No, I did not hear about this poor fellow...

:silly:

[kath]

2. What do you call a cow with no legs?

Ground beef.

[DarkTirade]

3. What do you call a cow with two legs?

Lean beef.

What do you call a masturbating cow?

Beef stroginoff.

[TroglodyteScholar]

6. Ahahah--now THAT's the spirit!

:thumbsup:

[av8rdave]

4. What do you call a male dog with no hind legs?

Sparky

[pokerfan]

7. Did you hear about the dyslexic, agnostic, insomniac?

He couldn't sleep because he wondered whether God existed but he had a hard time writing his thoughts because of his disability. It was very frustrating for him.

[TroglodyteScholar]

16. Must admit, not the punchline I was expecting.

For some reason I thought he stayed up all night wondering whether there really is a Dog.

:+

[pokerfan]

18. That also works

[XemaSab]

8. So two nuns, Sister Mary and Sister Katherine, are on a road trip through Europe

They're driving through Transylvania, and a tiny vampire lands on the windshield of their car.

Sister Mary, who is driving, freaks out. She says "What do I do? What do I do?"

Sister Katherine says "Turn on the windshield wipers!"

Sister Mary turns on the windshield wipes, but the tiny vampire hangs on.

Sister Mary says "Now what do I do?!?!?"

Sister Katherine says "Hit the window washer!"

Sister Mary hits the window washer, and the vampire hisses as the water burns his skin, but he still hangs on.

Sister Mary says "NOW WHAT?!?!?!"

Sister Katherine says "Show him your cross!"

Sister Mary says "Now you're talking!" She unrolls the window, and yells out "GET THE FUCK OFF THE CAR!"

[TroglodyteScholar]

11. !!!

What an angry nun!

[LostInAnomie]

9. Why do eskimos wash their clothes in Tide?

Because it's too cold out-tide.

[ulysses]

10. why do chicken coops have two doors?

Because if they had four doors, they'd be chicken sedans.

(yeah, I know, it's "coupe" - works better irl)

[TroglodyteScholar]

12. Hah, no, that's perfect...

Good wordplay :D

[Doc_Technical]

13. Did you hear about the butcher who backed into a meat grinder

and got a little behind in his work?

[yellowdogintexas]

14. classic butcher backed into the meat grinder. He got a little behind in his work

[TroglodyteScholar]

15. How about the guy who had to have his entire left side amputated?

He's all right now.

[charlie and algernon]

17. What do you call a blind dinosaur?

Doyouthinkhesaurus


What do you call a blind dinosaur's dog?

Doyouthinkhesaurus Rex

[pokerfan]

19. Mahatma Gandhi

Mahatma Gandhi, as you know, walked barefoot most of the time, which produced an impressive set of calluses on his feet. He also ate very little, which made him rather frail, and, with his odd diet, he suffered from bad breath. This made him... a super callused fragile mystic hexed by halitosis.