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... Russert loved potato chips!
When the noble Russert felt his veins clogging, Russert's awareness of the Ingratitude of those potato chips vanquished him. Then burst his mighty heart and Great Russert fell. O, what a fall was there, my countrymen! Then I, and you, and all of us fell down, whilst bloody treason flourished around us.
Good friends, sweet friends, let me not stir you up to such a sudden flood of mutiny. They that have done this deed are honorable potato chips. What private griefs they have, alas, I know not. Those griefs made them do it. They are wise and honorable potato chips, and will no doubt answer you. I come not, friends, to steal away your hearts. I am no orator, as Bush is.
I have neither wit, nor words, nor the power of speech to stir men's blood. I only speak right on; I tell you that which you yourselves do know. I show you sweet Russert's aorta, and bid it speak for me. But were I a potato chip, there would I put salt into every wound of Russert and move the cold stones of Washington to rise and mutiny.
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