I need some DU female opinions here.

[GaYellowDawg]

Let me tell you a few things about me...

On the minus side:

- I'm 40
- overweight (lost 20 pounds, got 100 to go)
- deeply in student loan debt
- credit's not good

On the plus side:

- I've been told I have a good heart (metaphorically and with a recent ECG, literally)
- my nieces and nephews love me
- I'll have my PhD in a year so will have a decent career
- I'm loyal

I've always thought I would like to get married and have a kid or two, but I have had the feeling for a while that I've missed the window for that. In many ways I've given up. Should I do so completely?

[NMDemDist2]

1. nope, just keep making yourself a better person and love will find you when you

least expect it

:hi:

[GaYellowDawg]

2. Well, that's a little solace anyway

I've never expected it less than now. :crazy:

On edit: thanks for being the only one out of 50+ views to reply!:toast: On further edit, I got more replies when I didn't expect them. Would that be metaphorical?

[femmocrat]

3. Never give up. You just haven't met the right person yet.

Take it from someone who has seen it happen!


Good luck! :hug:

[GaYellowDawg]

7. Thanks - it's not going to be easy!

I love both college football and science fiction. If one doesn't turn someone off, the other usually does. :banghead:

[CBHagman]

17. Choose to view yourself as complex and interesting.

I love both college football and science fiction. If one doesn't turn someone off, the other usually does.

No, that shows a refreshing breadth of interests. I'm not saying you will meet someone at a scifi convention wearing a jersey for your favorite team, but it's a big world out there, and someone will like you the way you are.

[The Velveteen Ocelot]

4. Ironically, most of the time someone shows up when you've stopped looking.

(Unless you're old, like me. Then nothing happens, ever). Since you're just a kid, you have a lot of time. So just relax, work on your Ph.D., get out and meet people but don't try too hard, and you'll find someone.

[CL Avenger]

5. Not a female but can help

My friends at school call me Cupid. So, where do I start? Lose the gut. Get the degree in hand. And don't worry about marrying a girl. Play. Enjoy the field. I know from personal experience, I am black, that black girls are crazy exciting and cheap to maintain. Take my advice or leave it. Hope that helped. :shrug:

[RadiationTherapy]

14. "I know from personal experience, I am black, that black girls are crazy exciting and cheap to

maintain"

Hm. I had not expected to ever read that in my life. Strange.

[fortyfeetunder]

6. You'll find your soulmate

it can and does happen. There will be a day where we :toast: to you and your soulmate!

[quip]

8. Is being married and having kids a priority for you? If so, DO something about it! Use the

internets; what a great resource. Try a dating service. Don't sit around and wait for love to come to you. Get PROACTIVE and persue what you want. You could be married in 6 months.

I sound like an ad, but tick tock. Go get'em, tiger! :D :hi: :thumbsup:

edit: Oops, I'm not a female, but my advice still stands. :hi:

[TZ]

9. I'm kind of in the same boat....

38 overweight,have a decent career, good sense of humor.
Haven't had a good relationship ever. HOWEVER, there is someone who I have developed feelings unexpectedly for..sadly time and distance separate us, so I don't know if anything would really happen..but you never know. This person appeared out of the blue, literally.
Maybe something like that (although for your sake, with not as many large barriers) will happen....

[CL Avenger]

10. Read my post above

It applies to you too.

[LeftyMom]

11. Congrats. You shouldn't have much trouble with shallow people and gold diggers.

Anybody who cares more about your waistline than your phfreakin'D probably isn't your style anyhow. But if the gut bothers you, work on that. Only if if bothers you though, not because you think it's scaring off some hypothetical Mrs. Right.

There's really nothing in what you said that's concerning otherwise. Well, you sound kinda needy and low self esteem-ish, but those should be easy enough things to work on, and it might just be that you're posting in a low moment.

Just work on being happy alone, if you can manage that people will be drawn to you.

[GaYellowDawg]

12. Low moment

LOL about the gold diggers line.

[LeftyMom]

13. At your age it's usually the ones who want an instant Dad (just add mortgage!)

Just be careful of women who seem to think you're the solution to all of their problems.

[u4ic]

15. No!

Please don't ever give up. You're the type of guy many women are looking for. There are plenty of women who would love you for who you are, not for your financial statement (or your CV, for that matter).

Just think - your debt is responsible debt. Educational debt is very different than needing the newest car/toys/big house/etc that is way beyond one's budget.

For the record, I have never dated a guy who makes a lot of money, and I couldn't care less if I ever do. I'd take a bursting heart over a fat wallet any day. :hi:

[RadiationTherapy]

16. Not a female, but I am a former fat, boring man...

Travel.

Create a legend.

Have stories to tell.

Do things that destroy your ego and strip you of your preconceptions of yourself.

Express yourself artistically; FIND a way to do this.

Eat healthy and appreciate the strength and versatility of the human form.

Dance; FIND a way to do this.

Inquire as to why some of your favorite hobbies "turn women off". Wonder if it is possible to let them go in exchange for something edgier or more interesting.

Inquire inside as to what you have to offer someone that makes THEIR life more interesting, fulfilling and expansive.

There is nothing worse than getting someone interested in you only to find that you aren't very interesting. All of the above comments really pertained to myself in my past, so if I am WAY off, then I am talking to myself again....

[Quantess]

18. Okay. This might make me sound horrible, but it was High School.

I knew a girl in High School who kept trying to get into our clique. Some of my friends thought she was nice, but she wasn't really a good friend. She was short and obese. No guys liked her. She wanted a boyfriend so desperately, and she was so over-dramatic when she got rejected, I found her annoying. She wanted to have a baby ASAP, which I thought was really stupid. She said a baby would give her "something to love".

Then about 1991, I ran into her, just a few years after we graduated High School. She said she went to bars and night clubs having one night stands with random guys just to get pregnant. She had one baby and was pregnant with another. The guys she fucked had no idea they were sperm donors. Her kids had 2 different random fathers they would never meet.

Just a couple of weeks ago, I found out that she is now married and has 4 kids. I was thinking, "somebody actually married her!" I was a little jealous of her, for the first time. I've never been married. I've always had boyfriends, but the ones I would have liked to marry never asked me. And this woman is far less attractive than I am (sorry to be honest, but it's true).

Well, if she can get married and have a family, so can you!

[FlyingSquirrel]

19. I'm not female, but I have a couple of kids you can have.......

There are worse things than going through life without kids........

;)

[applegrove]

20. A great heart is all you need. Keep putting yourself in situations where

you will meet new people. Try joining one of those online sites for singles and see if you can find a good match. Just keep on keeping on. 40 is young for a man. You have all the time in the world to meet the right woman. Just don't give up.