So somebody is after Jesus' foreskin

[krispos42]

You can't make this up...

Writer searches for a peculiar relic
The "Holy Prepuce," the supposed foreskin of Christ, has disappeared.
By FRANCIS X. ROCCA, Religion News Service
Last update: December 7, 2007 - 6:09 PM


When freelance writer David Farley first visited Calcata, Italy, five years ago, he figured it would make for a colorful article for a travel magazine.

<snip; no pun intended>

But Calcata's most remarkable attraction -- and the subject of a book that Farley is now writing -- turned out to be something no longer there: the supposed foreskin of Jesus Christ.

For more than four centuries, the "Holy Prepuce" had been the city's treasure, kept behind bronze doors over the altar in the Church of the Most Holy Name of Jesus. It was displayed every year on Jan. 1, the Feast of the Holy Circumcision. At one time, pilgrims who came to venerate it were rewarded with an indulgence that cut 10 years from their time in purgatory.

<snip; again, no pun intended>

The specimen in Calcata finally vanished in 1983, an event the church's pastor blamed on "sacrilegious thieves."

<more>

http://www.startribune.com/lifestyle/faith/12248886.html

Looks like now the Catholic Church hands out extra-heavy excommunication to anybody who even talks about it now.





So, we have circumsision, idol worship, the Catholic Church, and conspiricy theories. Throw in how the Masons are in on it and a breastfeeding pit bull and the popcorn will be flowing rich and buttery!

So, Jesus' foreskin... discuss...

:popcorn:

[Oeditpus Rex]

1. This calls for a sequel!

:bounce:

[krispos42]

3. "Monty Python and the Holy Prepuce"?

Oh, Lordy Lordy...

I can only imagine...

First guy: So, that's it, we've got it?

Second guy: Yes, after many trials and tribulations, we have suceeded in finding the foreskin of our Lord and Savior! Now, we must trek to Rome and return it to the Pope!

1st: Yes, yes, of course. That's a given. Ummmm...

2nd: What?

1st: Well, I was wondering...

2nd: Yes?

1st: Um, how... how... what's it's size?

2nd: What?!?!?

1st: Look, just give me the box for a few minutes and I'll do my measuring of private.

2nd: <gasps>

1st: IN private! I said 'IN private'!"

[Oeditpus Rex]

7. On second thought

this really calls for a combined sequel.



I'm not a Roman, Mum, and I never will be! I'm a Kike! A Yid! A Hebe! A Hook-nose! I'm kosher, Mum! I'm a Red Sea Pedestrian, and proud of it! ¹

Well, you'd better cut down a little, then. ²

Pie Mohel domine, dona e ist brit milah ³




¹ Brian Cohen, "Monty Python's Life of Brian," scene 7.

² Mr. Bounder of Adventure, "Monty Python's Flying Circus," episode 31, "Travel Agent" sketch.

³ Adapted from monks' Gregorian chant, "Monty Python and the Holy Grail," scene 5.





...and the appropriately named...

[Kucinich4America]

2. Obviously this is a mad scientist cloning project.

Someone wants to assemble a Jesus Clone Army to take over the world for the dominionists :scared:

[Kutjara]

4. I seem to remember, during the Middle Ages,...

...about thirty churches around Europe claimed to be the repository of the Holy Cockring. One historian estimated that, if all claims had been true, the Divine Schlong would have been about six feet long. Son of God, indeed.

I believe it was some Pope or other, in response to a major donation to the Papal coffers by the burghers of Calcata, who received Heavenly inspiration that told him it was indeed the Calcata prepuce that was the true one.

[chknltl]

12. 6 feet long? Wait a minute, Isn't cheney a 6 foot dick?

Call me a conspiracy theorist but I'm thinkin there could be a connection! :tinfoilhat:

[jgraz]

5. Sounds like he could use a tip

:hide:

[FloridaJudy]

6. Can't.... restrain.... myself....

I heard it was lost at sea.................................it'll take four skin divers to retrieve it....


I hear Farley's salary is pitiful............................but if he succeeds the tip will be tremendous....

[Orsino]

8. It was made into a wallet in the fourth century...

...but rub it and it turns into a suitcase!

[Maine-ah]

9. "the Feast of the Holy Circumcision"

they ate it?

:crazy:

[chknltl]

10. Those smegheads lost WHAT??!? (nt)

[FloridaJudy]

11. I'm kind of hoping they find it

And subject it to DNA analysis. I'm dying for a close look at that "Y" chromosome...

[FloridaJudy]

13. self delete - dupe

my internets provider seems to be sick this morning