Ugh. My closest friend and her husband are getting divorced.

[LaraMN]

About thirteen years together, four daughters, a home, a business, and a lot of history.
It's sad, but probably for the best.
My husband is friends with her husband, and she and I are each others' closest friends. I wonder if this is going to get weird for all of us. I sure hope not.

:(

[mike_c]

1. unless the divorce is totally amicable...

...I'd say it will get pretty weird. That's the way it usually happens, at least in my experience.

[LaraMN]

2. That's what I'm afraid of.

I like them both, but my loyalty is foremost to her. I really don't want to get stuck in the middle of anything. x(

[Midlodemocrat]

3. Ugh. I hate that. It seems to be happening so much

around me lately. If our closest couple friend got divorced, I know it would really get weird. She's my best friend, He's Mr.'s best friend.

I don't think there's any way it wouldn't get weird for us. Our kids are all the same ages and are good buddies as well.

[LaraMN]

5. Yeah. It's definitely going to alter dynamics.

Sophie is best friends with their youngest daughter. They have an eleven-year-old who's disabled. I think it's going to be really hard on her. :(

[Phillycat]

4. Oh dear.

Yeah, I think it's going to get weird and I think you're going to get put in the middle, unless both she and her husband are very good at NOT doing that to people.

[LaraMN]

6. There are likely going to be some custody issues.

I'm afraid I'll end up having to testify in court or something. I really, really don't want to do that.

[MissMillie]

7. Any way you and hubby can agree to not talk about it?

I certainly think you two should be there for your friends... but if you can, I think you should agree that that relationship has no place in your home for the time being.

[LaraMN]

9. I think we can handle that part ok.

We kind of figured this might happen. Hopefully we can keep their issues separate from our respective friendships. I suppose that's a bit easier said than done when things get ugly...

[Midlodemocrat]

8. Is it a for cause divorce?

In other words, do abuse or adultery enter the picture? If that is the case, I would think the victim would be the one who needed support, regardless of who is friends with who.

JMHO.

[LaraMN]

11. No physical abuse.

My friend has substance abuse issues, and there were infidelity issues a couple of years ago (at the height of the substance abuse.)

My friend went through treatment (but relapsed,) they went through individual and couples counseling, and basically did what they could to salvage things. It just couldn't be saved, ultimately.

[crim son]

10. Try to remain friends because people need friends at this time.

My husband and I have mutual friends and so far we have managed to maintain these friendships without much difficulty. It does feel odd to talk to them at first, but once it's clear that overt loyalties aren't going to cause problems, things go on as before. Of course, the STBE and I are 99% amicable.

[LaraMN]

12. I can't imagine doing otherwise.

They're genuinely good human beings. Both of them. I'm hoping that this ultimately gives them each a chance to be happier.