Bret Michael's VH1 reality "dating" show -Rock of Love ( oh my god)

[underpants]

I ran into this Saturday night. I saw the title on the Tivo information page..."No" I thought "it can't be"

well be it is.

This is the ROCK version of the Flavor of Love I guess (never watched that one) with all due respect to the "contestants" (though they clearly have none for themselves) this is the best synopsis I could come up with:

Imagine if someone suddenly turned on the lights or better yet flashed a police beacon into the ladies room of the skankiest never-had-a-prime "meat market" you could imagine.

WOW-there isn't even a good MILF ingredient here.

Let me say that anything posted here is NOT pertaining to "Magdelena" :wow:

This is clearly just meant to get Brett laid. There can be no other explanation.

His house looks like a unfinished bad theme restaurant.

but the topper here is "Big John" Brett's HEAD of security. Why Brett Michael's needs a security detachment I have no idea other than the "nothing attracts a crowd like a crowd" self promotion thing. John's qualifications seem to be that he is sort of tall (maybe 6'4") and he wears black.

This is the link to "Bret Michael Entertainment" page (with music that you can't cut off)
http://www.bretmichaels.com/main.htm

Here is the Rock of Love VH1 site --I warned you.
http://www.vh1.com/shows/dyn/rock_of_love/series.jhtml

Episode 1- the girls line up in an actual velvet rope waiting line and then POSE for Brett-seems photography is one of his favorite past times.
http://www.vh1.com/shows/dyn/rock_of_love/120847/episode.jhtml

Episode 2- "Talk dirty to me" Phone sex competition. I'm not kidding either.
http://www.vh1.com/shows/dyn/rock_of_love/122281/episode.jhtml

Some tidbits from the "Characters" page bios
http://www.vh1.com/shows/dyn/rock_of_love/122281/episode_characters.jhtml

Brandi M.
She can fit her fist in her mouth

Cindy
Sometimes wears cowboy hat in bed
Collects swords

Heather
Has been in several catfights because women are always jealous of her

Jessica
Waitress at Hooters
Caught her boyfriend cheating so she hooked up with his friend
Currently a senior in college
Worked at a strip club for a month

Krista
Was married before for only 10 months
Could not survive if she couldn't shop
Has a musical note tattooed on her lower back

Lacey
Last boyfriend was a guitar player


Mia
Back is double jointed
Can drive a tractor

Tiffany
Back hair is a major turn off
Special Talent: Can bounce her boobs
Caught ex-husband cheating on her with her best friend so she broke the girl's nose

[ceile]

1. Shoot.

I can bounce my boobs, too. Does that mean I can get on the show? :puke:
Who comes up with this crap?!

[underpants]

7. Prove it!

:evilgrin:

I don't know who comes up with it. I have a feeling that it was Bret himself.

[matcom]

2. i gotta hand it to you brother

you watch more sucky TV than ANYONE else I know. you, sir, are the KING of shitty TV. strike that. you my friend are the Sucky TV EMPEROR!!

:rofl:

[underpants]

4. I did not actually watch the whole thing

but I do have it set up on TiVo for the next two shows--> my wife didn't believe me that this was for real.

In my defense I am reading or playing with Josie but rule #1 in my house is... if you are awake the TV is ON!!!! As Homer said "I grew up with TV and I turned out TV"

[anarch]

LOL

that looks really, truly appalling.

[underpants]

6. I didn't do it justice

I tried to keep it short.

The funny part is that none of them seem to know or care that they are being made fun of.

[LynneSin]

3. So who got the boot last night

It's really bad TV but it's like a god-damn train-wreck - you have to watch to see if you can see any dead bodies

[underpants]

5. Kelly

Kelly and 4 others got booted by "Big John" IN THE DRIVE WAY--I am not kidding. He just picked 5 and told them they had to go. Kelly, like everyone else, had had some work done (they were pretty open about this) but she (poor thing) looked like she didn't plan it out real well.

One of the ladies begged her way back in which tells you everything you need to know about "Big John"--security rule #1 NEVER change the "NO!" if you say it it sticks, he let her back in.

Train wreck doesn't cover this mess.

[LynneSin]

8. That was last week's episode - one of the girls got back in the house

and proceeded to get more shitfaced than any other girl combined.

I'm talking about last night

[underpants]

11. NO SPOILERS!!!

I don't know-I am taping this weeks at like 3AM on Thursday or something (had to avoid taping over "Big Brother 8" you know :eyes: )

[LibraLiz1973]

13. Dude!! NOoooooooooooo

You better create another thread after you watch- last nights was like watching the Titanic go down.

Brett has some reallllllllllllllllllllllllllllly bad taste.

And those bitches are crazy!

[LibraLiz1973]

12. I haven't seen someone that drunk since I was in college

She was making NO sense


"Can't threaten me with a good time"


She calls herself RODEO... I call her "Trucker"

I can't help it

[kaiden]

9. And don't forget, Underpants . . .

These have to be the homeliest women on television. Rode hard and put up wet.

[underpants]

10. So you've seen it?

I worked hard on that description.

They use they EMBRACE the darkness of the club. Their world is one of fuzzy neon-backlit sihouettes and beer goggles.

[LibraLiz1973]

14. A couple of them are so ugly it hurts

I see a few that aren't total dogs (not beautiful but not total woofers)- but, for the most part they are a real rancid bunch.
And the voices on these chicks!! Some sound like they've been sucking helium 4 life... others like they just started taking male hormones.

[Connonym]

15. My 14 year old tried to tell me that there was no way it could be skankier than Flava of Love

heh, I got the last laugh there. I'm watching it with her just so we can use it as an opportunity to show her what I don't want her to do with her life.