The State of the CAPTION

[Fenris]

"You know, a lot of people ask me if there was anything I had to leave out of the State of the Union address. Actually, no. In fact, my speech writers really filled up my speech with a lot of shit I didn't want to say. Like that bit about caring for the elderly and giving two shits about the economy. Oh, and steroid use. What the fuck was that about? When I was managing the Rangers, the guys and I used to take anabolic injections together before getting coked up and cruising high school parking lots for cheerleaders. And I know for a fact that we wouldn't have won half the games we did if it wasn't for that mystical monkey man juice that balloons your muscles and shrinks your testes.

And about that mandatory drug testing in schools: total horseshit. I could care less what those little brats are on. Unless they are, um, black or Hispanic. Or my daughters, but only in the capacity that I aim to make sure that you liberal trash tabloid pinkos don't take pictures of them stoned out of their minds or drunk off their asses. And that goes double for you, Ashton Kutcher.

But I am of course in favor of preserving the sanctity of marriage. Except in cases of men named Neil and their appetite for, um, Asian cuisine. Here's the deal: you can marry and divorce as often as possible, as long as you're not gay. Have affairs, visit prostitutes, get divorced multiple times...just don't couple with someone with the same hookups as you. Yep, marriage will remained sanctified.

To be honest though, my message could have been simplified. And I don't think I communicated my thoughts clearly. So for all you liberals, gays, impoverished folk, blacks, Hispanics, non-CEO middle class worker drones, the five factory workers who still have jobs, people in the public service industry, elderly citizens, women, educators, country club employees, Jews, Union people, Hollywood actors, the ACLU, college professors, musicians, artists, Catholics, and other assorted terrorists, let me make myself perfectly clear:

Up yours."

ON EDIT: Changed the picture, as cosmicdot already posted it.

[jimbo fett]

1. "I want all Amurkins to take their thumbs and shove 'em up their asses."

That way they get used to the feeling of getting screwed.

[underpants]

2. No Sir it is not my thumb is right here

:bounce:

[zbdent]

3. "What do you mean, behind me? What are you pointing at?"

"Are you trying to tell me something? Jeez, when's the audience going to get here!"

[Scurrilous]

4. Dubya Unplugged...

"Where is thumbkin? Where is thumbkin?"...

"Everybody sing!!"

[regularguy]

5. "If God had meant for Gays and Thesbians to get married,

then he wouldn't have invented the Skanktitty of Marriage. Look, personally I'm dying to have sex with another man, but do you see me doing it? No. You don't. Thats because I believe in Skanktitty."

[wysimdnwyg]

6. Count to 10? OK...

One...um...uh...<psst! Karl, what's next?>