Got advice? Fuck that. Sometimes it's easier said than done.

[Writer]

Sometimes the answers are obvious, but the journey ahead is paved with self-doubt and anger. Sometimes what seems so logical doesn't materialize because you're weighed by emotional baggage.

So if you're in that position, and a person gives you advice that is so obvious when all you're looking for is encouragement and support - DAILY support - in venturing forward in that direction, fuck that person. They're not really listening to you. They're just treating you operationally when all you need is a good kick in the butt and a check-in now and then. And hugs. Many, many hugs. And band-aids when you fall, because you'll fall once in a while.

And that is all I have to say on the matter. Thanks for reading.

Writer.

[SPKrazy]

1. Seems I've felt that way before

didn't get any hugs though

:shrug:

[Richard Steele]

2. The EASIEST problems to solve are...

...someone elses.

And people who tell me they just want a regular "kick in the butt"
are always the people who tear into me when I kick them in the butt.

If you think about ANY of this stuff too much, you'll start to
not like anybody as much as you once did.

I prefer to not think about it so much.

[Adsos Letter]

3. Yo, Writer...

I went through that for 25 years with my dad...I hear ya'.

:D

[TK421]

4. Yeah!!!! Uh...wait a sec....what was that you were saying?

Just kidding, of course......I know who is not listening to me and who is. This is a message board, and I don't ( I can't ) take things that people type to heart. Either you agree or disagree or sympathize or don't give a damn.....don't type a response if you don't give a damn. What is the point?

[enigmatic]

5. this is so true

"And people who tell me they just want a regular "kick in the butt"
are always the people who tear into me when I kick them in the butt"..

[some guy]

6. so if I give you advice every day

we can have sex?

cool.

Change the oil in your car every 3 months or 3,000 miles.

:P

:hi:


edit: advice should have a C not an S

[Writer]

7. LOL

Sex for an oil change, huh? :rofl:

Thanks for the chuckle. ;)

[some guy]

8. you're welcome. n/t

[reyd reid reed]

9. Men are great at handing out advice...

especially the obvious kind. Except when they're asked. They're less willing to just offer sympathy and a shoulder. They always wanna FIX it.

I keep telling 'em I KNOW how to fix it. I want sympathy.

They keep not listening.

At least they're consistent.

:eyes:

[SPKrazy]

10. I'd listen to you

and give you sympathy reidie sweetie

i'm the only one too :D

:rofl:

:hi:

[Inchworm]

11. well then.. did you hear the one about

the Addams Family's biographer?

:shrug:

[BlueIris]

12. What I like to remind assholes who do that is, "Advice is only helpful...

...if it is offered helpfully."

[raccoon]

13. Few people are good listeners or good conversationalists.

Lots of times, they want to give you some quick, pat, simple solution, and you're like,

"Duh, like that never would've occurred to me? "

[Crazy Dave]

14. The worst advice givers are ones with money....

....who give advice to the ones that don't. Not the ones who blow all their money but the ones with real life hardships, job lay-offs, pay cuts, medical bills, etc. Things that were totally out of that person's control. Things that didn't happen based on decisions or personal actions.

My dad who was in the military all his adult life and never had to worry about his next paycheck and what amount it would be. He was the worst person to borrow money from whenever I got laid off or work slowed down. Even though the money was used to feed and house his grandkids and was always paid back promptly, it only came with a long lecture. Finally we (me and the ex) decided to go to the pawn shop and borrow money instead of putting up with the bullshit.

[LeftyFingerPop]

15. Writer...

:hug: :hug: :hug: :hug: :hug: :hug: :hug: :hug: :hug: :hug:

[skygazer]

16. That's not necessarily so, though

A lot of times people offer advice because they really are trying to help and they don't know another way to do it. Some people are more action-oriented than emotion-oriented - doesn't make them a bad person, it just means they look at things differently.

I used to get irritated when people offered advice instead of just letting me vent. Until I realized they had no idea that all I wanted was to vent, to be heard, to feel validated, to get a hug. I found that if I told them mildly, "Well, I appreciate your advice but really I just needed to vent," most of them understood that. People aren't mind-readers (at least most of them).

So, if you want my advice.... :P