I just got back from doing a very scary thing...

[Inchworm]

25 or so years of being a heathen, anti-authority, wandering, general hooligan just caught up with me.

As part of college application I read, "Have you been convicted of a crime? Explain."
Easy enough, *checked yes*

The next question was, "Have you entered a plea of guilty, a plea of no contest, a plea of nolo contendere, or an Alford plea, or have you received a deferred prosecution or prayer for judgement continued, to a criminal charge?"
Not so easy, *freaked out*

These questions coupled with a bad memory and penchant for blocking out bad stuff got me to thinking about arrests. I knew I was missing something so I had to go to the Clerks Office and do a "criminal background" check on myself.

Ok.. now I'm thinking.. omg! I'm gonna be in Matcom's news tomorrow or get a Darwin Award for accidentally turning myself in. I had to have it for application, so I pressed on.

$10 for a copy but I think it is only this state (NC). I didn't realize this until after I slinked out of the office. I guess I'll have to find out tomorrow if I can do a national background check somehow.

On the bright side...

It wasn't as bad as I thought. I guess the worst thing (not counting DUI) was assault with a deadly weapon. I remembered that one because it was humorous (at the time) that the cop I was running off my property charged me. One beer bottle + smack off porch railing + a hill + perfect golf bounce = BANG! on side of cop car. oops.

Scary and its not yet over. Anyone know how to go about doing a national background check on self without joining some organization of acronyms?

:shrug:

[leftofthedial]

1. you seriously don't remember if you were ever arrested?

can I have your autograph?

[Inchworm]

3. not that I doubt it

I just need a detailed list.

But yes, there are a couple years missing where I was traveling all over and may have forgotten a few things. Long ago... *whew* :dunce:

I'm not falling for the "loan" trick by signing your paper hehe. That was last weeks bad news :D

:hi:

[wildhorses]

2. are you so bad that you are nationwide?

what about global:P

[Inchworm]

4. hmm..

I did have a blast a few weekends in Tijuana.. . . oh! and the Bahamas. Crap!

what is INTERPOL's phone number?

:hide:

[wildhorses]

5. i now how you ashe county boys are

:rofl:

[Inchworm]

6. Even worse!

I'm from up on Horse Creek!

They raise their young'ns differnt up yonder! :D

:rofl:

[wildhorses]

7. that ain't nuttin' but a bend in the road

who you tryin' to fool;)

:rofl:

[Inchworm]

8. lol

but the bend is up past 3 churches and take a right at Jack's daddy's house! Look for a pen of goats and an old refrigerator in ditch.

You can drink out of the fridge if you like before ya head up in our holler. We use it to catch water from the spring.

:rofl:

[Elidor]

14. Lol!

:rofl:

[TheCentepedeShoes]

9. An Alford plea?

I'd sure want to know what Alford did befoe I said yes to that.

[Inchworm]

10. and as I read it again..

"Judgement" is spelled in a foreign language. British.. hmm

:shrug:

[Redstone]

11. What, you never heard of lying?

Redstone

[Inchworm]

12. Well- that would have been my normal course of action

I'm trying to be better now, hehe.

Oh, and then there is this thing where they said they do background checks etc.

I want to be in college in Fall or its more waiting. I don't want to risk being turned down because of some silly thing I forgot to put on application.

:shrug:

[BarenakedLady]

13. Will you marry me?

:rofl:

[Inchworm]

15. Do you have all your teeth?

well.. most of them?

:rofl:

[BarenakedLady]

16. Hermmm

Well I can take 'em out if'n you prefer






:hide:

[Inchworm]

17. hmm..

I promise I won't make you fill out an application. I'm pretty sure removable teeth qualifies you for an exempt superstar status.

Do you like pie?

:shrug:













:loveya:

[BarenakedLady]

19. Depends

What kind of pie are we talking about here?

:P

[Inchworm]

20. did I say pie?

I meant burritos.

:hide:

[BarenakedLady]

22. Mild?

or spicy?

Mini or mega?

whole or cut?

These are important considerations when choosing a burrito...

O8)

[Inchworm]

24. Spicy

Not sure about the mega mini. I'd need to compare it to other burritos. Cut.

Oh, what are your views toward pickles? How close are you to Nevada?



You are close to stealing my heart.

[BarenakedLady]

26. Wooot!

Don't worry I'm a burrito connoisseur.

Pick me up out back by the apple tree. You'll know it's me by the beehive hairdo, tats, and 15 childrens. Mind the chickens...

:silly:

[Inchworm]

27. yay!

I'll be right there, don't mind the dogs.. they go everywhere with me!



:rofl:

[Inchworm]

28. Oh noes!

Ive been stood up! :D

I had my best plaid jacket on too!

:rofl:

[SPKrazy]

18. I think that you should be able to do it

go buy a gun

:rofl:

[Inchworm]

21. Thats a good idea!

Too funny...

All the loopholes though.. not sure they would run any checks either.

:D

[SPKrazy]

23. Prolly not

and i don't know if you get to keep a copy.

I know that I got a fed check, but it was through my licensing board for my profession. It only took 2 months to get the results back

:rofl:

[Inchworm]

25. in a way thats good news

that means the college doesn't do that probably. See, I knew I'd get info somehow.

:rofl: