Do you ever get tired of being nice to people sometimes ?

[BelleCarolinaPeridot]

I don't post here much at the DU anymore because work makes me tired plus I spend a lot of time working on my music - and I am also preparing to go back to school ...

Everyday I see myself with less and less friends. I had to put a lot of people out of my life because they were toxic to me, friends should bring you up and not bring you down.

Its gotten to the point that one ex-friend of mine has started stalking me. And its my ex-boyfriend. I told him that I just can't be friends with him because I just don't like him as a person - I need my space ... he is just a hurtful person who is not used to good people. We don't click , so I just moved on and he did'nt like it. Too bad we work at the same job and its getting hard for me because everywhere I am , he comes. I walk past him and ignore him and its almost like he is trying to get a rise out of me. Its making sick and its making tired , his supervisor has seen what has been going on and I have a panic button in them to go to Human resources , I did'nt want it to come to this. I never call him , he calls me , and I used to answer but now I stopped because it got crazy. He told me that he does not like me anymore but why the hell is he trying to make my life a living hell ? If I could turn back time I would have never went out with this guy ... I feel like my past coming back to haunt me and I can't do anything about it but scream ... I am tired of being the one who hurts , I want him to hurt .

I know that I am a smart beautiful girl - I just wish I would stop attracting assholes into my life ...

thank you for listening to me vent - Happy Mother's day weekend everyone :)

[Haole Girl]

1. I hope it gets better...and soon!

:hug:

Sorry I don't have any good advice for you.

[Writer]

2. Actually I have a different take on this...

and you are indeed a smart and beautiful WOMAN.

Smart and beautiful women have the potential to attract a lot of jealousy and to intimidate men. In some cases, the female friends a smart and beautiful woman make are the types that want to tear her down because they cannot be her. Men want to control her because they are intimidated by her - I think it's confounding for some men to be around a woman they want to sleep with, yet feel challenged by her somehow. It sounds like your ex-boyfriend is subtly trying to control you because he can't have you and the fact that you're not suffering after your breakup likely unnerves him.

Ignoring your boyfriend is the very best method, I think. I would be cautious about HR - use it only as a last resort. You're going back to school - that's a great thing I bet your ex-boyfriend could never do! No, he IS hurting. He is hurting because he lost a good thing, and you should always keep that in mind...

... and the fact that you're a smart and beautiful woman. :hug:

[BelleCarolinaPeridot]

3. The one that gets me is that he told me He no longer had deep feelings for me ...

but I don't know any guy who calls a girl every single night ... and I stopped answering ... if you don't like me , why do you do shit right in front of me to make me scream. I think that ignoring him really gets to him and I prove my point.

[Writer]

5. Well he's seeking control, it seems...

and you likely are driving him crazy by setting your boundaries. Too bad for HIM.

But I do hope it all gets better soon. When do you start school?

[BelleCarolinaPeridot]

7. This summer ...

I want to study Business ... 10 years ago I thought I would NEVER EVER have an interest in business ... either that or Operational Logistics , I have hands on experience ... and it can help me move up in my current job.

[Writer]

8. Once that starts you'll have no time to worry about this loser...

I think you'll be just fine. Just give it time and keep giving him the cold shoulder. :hug:

[skygazer]

4. I understand how stressful that is

I've had it happen in my life - my ex-husband still tries to do this, even though we've been split up for over 10 years now.

It's a form of control. By being a thorn in your side, he is still exerting influence on your life. You have to make up your mind that you are NOT going to allow him to have any control or bearing on what you do, feel, think or dream.

I would tell him very clearly once more that you no longer have a relationship of any kind and you will not accept calls etc. Then do it.

It sucks that you work together and that will make it hard. If you have to deal with him at work, keep it strictly on a professional level and if he tries to take it elsewhere, speak to his superior or HR if you have to.

But most of it is a mindset on your part because guys like that don't tend to quit. My ex still does stupid weird shit on those occasions when I have to talk to him (our son lives with him). I just ignore his remarks (the last one was about how we should get back together because we had "such a good thing" - he treated me like crap. I didn't even acknowledge the statement).

Good for you for going back to school. DON'T let your past run your future. :hug:

[BelleCarolinaPeridot]

9. For the longest I wanted this idiot back ...

and then I took a step back and I am somewhat in a better place without him. And the control that he has over me is that he knows that for a long time I still had feelings for him ... all of this is funny to him , its not me. I have told him I am going to take it to HR if he does'nt stop , some people need to be scared straight because evidently he has been able to go throughout his whole life being a bastard - and I think I am the first person or only person who calls him on his shit and he can't handle it. It will be ok. Thanks for your insight.

[JVS]

6. I never get tired of it. Of course I never try to be a nice person anyway