OKAY, I usually don't do much personal stuff here, but... here goes...

[radwriter0555]

I had this email exchange with an ex bf who I had also worked with. We broke up fine, just moved on with our lives, and worked very well together for another year or so until my job was taken away from me in an effort by management to get rid of me. So after suffering for a year I finally married, quit and moved here to france. Things are now going well of course. Apparently he had a lot of festering anger issues???????

How'd I do?

it begins,

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
From: xx xxxx [email protected]]
Sent: Friday, October 13, 2006 3:11 AM
To: Dxxxx Gxxxxxxx
Subject: Hi, it's Txxxxx


I hope this finds you well.

I have a business opportunity that you might like..

Interested?

txxxx
He replies:

You ignore me for a year, shit all over me when you did talk to me and now after not hearing from you in two years your offering me a "business opportunity". Shit, you didn't even ask how I am or what's been going on in my life for the last two years. Just "I hope this finds you well".

FUCK OFF BITCH!!!!!!

I wouldn't involve myself in anything you thought of or where even interested in. YOUR WACKO LADY ! Don't ever try to communicate with me again.

P.S.

I hope Oxxxx is fine. It's a shame she has such a fucked up parent as you. Put some money away for her psychiatry sessions. She's going to be in therapy for along time trying to correct all the fucked up shit you've put in her head.

and I replied

Date: Sat, 14 Oct 2006 08:51:11 -0700 (PDT)
From: xxxx xxxx [email protected]>
Subject: It's ALL about DAVIE.
To: "Dxxxx Gxxxx" <[email protected]>

dude, you need to grow up and learn how to treat people. You, sxx and kxxxx fucked me over royally, so badly in fact, it took me over a year to recuperate physically and emotionally. the hurt and pain you all caused me was something you apparently couldn't possibly imagine -- oh wait, because you never ASKED! You never cared enough to stand up for me or even once watch my back. You all just let me get steamrolled.

I've spent most of the past year and a half in pain, in physical therapy, on steroids and pain killers and in bed. You all just let the people like fat vxxxxx lxxx and sxx lying, traitor asshole bxxxxx and lloyd mister gambling addict lxxx do everything they could to destroy me and tear me down and take away everything I had. I crawled out of that place without one single shred of dignity. I heard that you assholes even told people I was fired. Nice going. Every last piece of sanity I had was absolutely gone when I walked out that door. Thank goodness I'm with people who love me, and I am really grateful to know who my real friends and family are, and that they're here with me now.

And dxxxx... as far as caring about what you've been doing for the past 2 years... maybe you could turn that around and reflect on every conversation we had in the last year I was in the US... you never asked me about me, about my life, but you were really happy to tell me how great your house was, what cool things you were doing there... and you never asked me about me. You never ever once looked me in the eye and asked how I was doing. You always made every conversation about you. I didn't mind, that's just how you are. You clearly didn't care about me, that's okay. I get it. I don't get why you're angry at me. I never did anything to hurt you. You were part of the gang that fucked me over, okay? Just make sure we're all clear on that. Maybe it's your guilt over that talking and lashing out, I don't know.

And you know what? My life IS great. I live on the french riviera. I'm partner in a fast growing ladies' fitness franchising business. We've built our own company; We've sold 9 gyms in the past year, and I'm developing the UK end of the business. I'm finalizing negotiations to secure 1.2 million in financing to open up 5 of my gyms at once by next september in london. And it's all mine... I'm selling off 49% of the equity in the business in exchange for the financing.

I was contacting you because, (I'm mature enough to put personal issues aside), I felt you could (a) probably use a break from xxxx, and (b) that you were the person that could build out my sites on time and on budget. I knew I could trust you, you're the best. I thought perhaps you could use a leave of absence to come work for me for a few months in London at a nice rate of pay plus a bonus.

But, apparently you're not mature enough to handle something like this... so... never mind. You still have a LOT of real, serious issues and a lot of growing up to do.

And XXX is great. She is learning and speaking both french and italian, is doing very well in physics and maths.. she loves science too, and is of course a gifted writer. We're not the ones who need therapy here... we're doing great. She's a remarkably well adjusted young lady, and I'm a stunning, smart, accomplished woman who's about to launch a really great business venture. You're the one with anger and inadequacy issues.... could be that whole mom thing you've got going on.... and your whole issue with intimacy. You're certainly in no place to lecture me.. I do love how you turned the whole thing into "ALL ABOUT DAVIE". Classic. Really classic.

thanks for the best laugh I've had all day!!!!!! And... just so you know, everyone noticed how you copied my house.

_________________________________________________________
Okay, did I hit the mark???? (ducks)

[Haole Girl]

1. Wow...you had somebody tear you down, too, on Fri. the 13th

:hug: People who attack out of nowhere are the scariest kind! :hug:

I wonder if it was a freudian slip when he wrote, YOUR WACKO LADY instead of YOU'RE WACKO LADY.

Some people! :eyes: Here is another one of these for you...:hug:

[HEyHEY]

2. *Makes a face not unlike that of a confused dog*

AROOO?

That's an odd one.

[Gormy Cuss]

3. IMHO, there was no need for your reply to his hostile email

except to say, "message received. I will not contact you again."
Anything more adds fuel for his next volley.

[Lydia Leftcoast]

4. Yes there was

As they say, "Living well is the best revenge." :-)

[skygazer]

5. I have to agree with Gormy Cuss

Your response turns it into a "you did this" "well, you did that" sort of affair. Your initial mailing was appropriate and professional - his reply was absurd and deserved nothing more than a dignified response along the lines of what GC suggested.

I think you kind of dropped to his level in your answer. Sorry, but you asked.

[radwriter0555]

8. Point well taken, absolutely.

I do agree with you... I got a little mud on me.

thanks... luckily I should never have this chance again!

[Lars39]

6. I wouldn't have given him the satisfaction of a reply.

Consider what you've written as therapeutic journaling and move on.
He sounds like a sociopath,and you really don't want to give one of those an opportunity to get back in your life in any capacity.
Now block his email. Living well really is the best revenge.:)

[radwriter0555]

7. 999 times out of the last 1000 I would agree with you, but for ONCE I got

to aim, shoot AND fire... because it doesn't matter to me. It was a shock to receive such a vehement reply, so apparently he's the one harboring ill feelings. And of course I still feel some hurt and pain from the events that took place, but I have moved on from them and resolved them well enough. I didn't, however, get to ever talk to anyone who inflicted that pain, about them. So this was the only opportunity I'll ever have to do that.

I got to do the therapuetic journaling AND to finally send one. Over the years I've had a lot of salvos lobbed at me that I've just sucked up. I think it felt good to reply for once. I don't believe he'll email me back... but for once I got the last word.

I usually let kharma handle it. But I wanted him to know the truth. He's not a psycho, he never was. He's honestly a really good guy with a lot of ethics and integrity -- but clearly not as much as I'd given him credit for, right?

Well it was fun to bust him on copying my house though, heh heh.

[Capn Sunshine]

10. Unless his GF sent you the note

because she reads his emails, and he has no idea what just went down.

[wildhorses]

9. about that job...

I am up for coming to London:P

forget him...

[speedoo]

11. Frankly, after thinking this over for a while...

I think you might benefit from a brutally honest examination of your motive(s) for contacting him with your e-mail.

[radwriter0555]

12. I thought about it too. He's the best construction supervisor I know..

He has traveled all over the world, and he's good at what he does. I have to assemble a 'team' to put on paper to round out the marketing plan for the funding of this project and his name and experience on the team would have been quite good. I thought I could have counted on him to bring this in just the way I needed it done. I don't know any construction people in London.

I have absolutely NO interest in him romantically in any way, shape or form. He really was not the man for me. But his business ethics and building standards are tops.

I'm bringing over another gal from the same organization to be my personal assistant... I'm assembling a team of people I can trust. I think my motives are good... I had no clue that he was harboring all this hostility... not a clue at all.

[RoyGBiv]

13. None of my business ...

Just a bystander here, but is someone who was part of the "gang that fucked you over" really a person you'd consider to have business ethics that are "tops"? I mean, if he'd do that, what's to say he'd not screw up the job just to spite you?

Anyway, whatever your motives, conscious or subconscious, for initially contacting him, there's something to be said for the cleansing one gets from being able to face off against one who has tormented you. Perhaps it could be said you "stooped" to his level, but these pyschological battles we face day to day occasionally require that, once. I have lingering issues with a girlfriend from 20+ years ago, in fact, and it would do my soul good just once to make her hear what my mind has been screaming at me on and off for those 20 years.

I wouldn't do it again, however. Once is cleansing. Twice is something else.

[radwriter0555]

14. Yeah, this was my one shot at it.

I honestly see that from his inane email he had NO CLUE what I was going through after I was ousted from the department.. and that's really a typical thing for him. As I pointed out, he certainly didn't ask what was going on... he just figured it was all hunky dory. And when I did try to talk to him he was all so excited about his house that he didn't even notice what I was saying.

Eh... it's done and over... I sent it from an email addy I rarely use, so I won't check it for a few weeks.