The Crank Call of all CAPTIONS!!!

[skip fox]

"It felt like I had a tumor the side of a softball on the right side of my head, and the alien ship sent down a straw and sucked out the poison and the cancer turned into peanut butter and started leaking into my shoes right before I woke. . . . You bet I have a dream! Why'd you ask? . . . Oh, . . . a dream for the future of the nation . . . ? hmm . . ."

[underpants]

1. I can't hear you DID YOU LIE I'm sorry I still can't hear you DID YOU...

LIE ABOTU No I'm sorry I just can't hear the quesiton....

[LuminousX]

2. And That is How the Aliens Extracted my conscience

[MisterP]

3. his face is the exact consistency of beach sand south of LA

[GOPisEvil]

4. I ever tell you 'bout the time mommy smacked me upside the head?

Left a big-ass welt...Jeb made fun of me, but I showed him; the fucker. Who's the man NOW, dickweed? He says it's because of me, but Uncle Dick just says he's being jealous.

[regularguy]

5. Al"l this vocabularizing was startin' to hurt my head so I asked Jesus

what to do, and he said to tell ya'll to 'sod off' "

[MrMonk]

6. Darn superglue! Karl, you got me agin'!

[greekspeak]

7. try this one instead

"I hated him so much .... that...Flames...flames...on the side of my face....breathing...heaving breaths....

Sorry for all you out there who are not "Clue" junkies. Madeline Khan ruled!!

[cosmicdot]

8. Hello, God ... are you in today?

... er ... I got a few problems on my hands ... when we talked in the past ... it was, like, really you, wasn't it? I mean ... wires weren't cross or anything, were they? No party lines or conference calls or nuttn' like that, were there? 'Cause things have been messed up, and getting worse by the day ... oh, we're making tons of money ... for the church, of course ... but, things have really sped up in the negative column again ... even moreso since you told me I deserved to be selected even though Al Gore won ... I've got that feeling you have when you say you got out the wrong side of the bed or got off on the right foot ... or look over the wall when you're 100 stories up in a building ... or when we played pratical jokes on others, and they, liked, died or something, and we didn't mean it and stuff ... things have piled on even worse than they were in August 2001 when we talked at the ranch ... OK OK OK OK ... I'll start calling it a farmette ... remember what you suggested then? That was you wasn't it ... although you sounded a lot like Unca Dick ... Well, I feel like things have gone, what they say, full circle ... so, I guess my main question of the day is: what product should we release come September? should we make it October to mix it up?

[cosmicdot]

11. make that ... got off on the wrong foot

:spank:

[Catshrink]

9. Incoming message from the Big Giant Head....

(any 3rd Rock fans?)

[cosmicdot]

10. (any 3rd Rock fans?)

but, of course
:bounce:

[skip fox]

12. Swift CAPTIONS fly from morn to noon

Yet leave the skies of day far too soon,
But other CAPTIONS follow in their flight
To leaven evening and confound the night!

:bounce:

[peterh]

13. I’m channeling….I’m channeling….and Jeezus is saying…

Uhhh….never mind….it wasn’t important…