The most frightening instructional video EVER

[jmowreader]

Everyone remembers Hildy Santo-Tomas, right? The wench from Trading Spaces who liked to glue hay to the ceiling, paint rooms nineteen shades of brown right after the victim told her "You can do anything except paint the room brown and I'll think it's just great", and other assorted Decorating Disasters? A person could get a real good education on what the fuck NOT to do with a room just by watching Hildy.

Now check THIS shit out: We have started selling, right next to the paint so stupid people will think it's an actual "how to" video instead of the basis for a drinking game (drink once if she glues anything to the wall, twice if she does something the homeowner's neighbors tell her the homeowner hates, and kill the bottle if she does something that violates any local or national code), a DVD starring Hildy Santo-Tomas in which she teaches people to decorate their homes the Hildy Way. Complete with "Hildy Hints on how to do the job right!" (I am going to assume that "pressing the Eject button right now will save you untold hours of grief" is not one of these hints.)

This is the most frightening product I saw today but not the most frightening thing. The most frightening thing is that I pulled up the SKU and found out that we've sold 50 copies of it.

[redqueen]

1. wow... 50 copies?

those people must have no idea who she is.

i heard she redecorated a room by putting a lawn in it.

[Gormy Cuss]

2. Pretty please, I have a request.

If you ever have access to this DVD watch it and write up one of your insightful jmowreader commentaries.

[LeftyMom]

3. With screencaps I suspect that would be all over the internets in no time.

I know I'd want to read it.

[jmowreader]

4. They don't make enough bourbon to dull that pain

[Gormy Cuss]

5. But if you drank a lot of bourbon while viewing it

Hildy could use the empties to build a table for your dining room.

:+

[YellowRubberDuckie]

6. She is a disaster waiting to happen.

And can't stand her as a person either. Also, she's got some really scary eating habits, for example, she likes raw steak, cold.
Duckie

[Patiod]

7. She did my friend's former home

It made me want to cry - my friend has GREAT decorating taste, and people love to go to her house because it's so warm and comfortable. Immediately after she moved out, the new people did the 1st season of "Trading Spaces" and Hildy did some hidous thing that made one wall look like a backgammon board. The new owners were HORRIFIED - it was one of those episodes where the homeowner clearly HATED the result.

Sadder because I had spent so many happy nights in that lovely room - surprise parties, showers, cozy evenings gossiping and having wine in front of the fireplace, and now the lovely warm room was RUINED. Hildy sucks