When I win the lottery tonight and notice I said when and not if....

[Midlodemocrat]

I will be feeling very generous. Post here and tell me what I should get you and why.

[progmom]

1. I just want you to be happy.

:hug:












































did that work? :evilgrin:

[Midlodemocrat]

4. I see a new sports car in your future.

[MsKandice01]

2. A lifetime supply of mayo and fries please...

That other thread has me craving mayo and fries something FIERCE.

[Midlodemocrat]

5. Okay, but

:puke:

[matcom]

3. whores

and booze

[Midlodemocrat]

6. Okay, but I will need to check with my new best friend forever or

BFF in IM speak, Mrs.Matcom. She asked me to tell her when you were requesting booze. Something about you 'bleeding scotch' and how it is ruining the carpet.

[matcom]

7. ACK!!!

my worlds are colliding!

NNNNNNNOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO

x(

[jmowreader]

12. Get Mrs. Matcom a new carpet, then

I recommend one made from genuine DuPont Nylon 6.6.

From the warranty certificate for DuPont Nylon 6.6 carpeting:

Bleeding Scotch: DuPont warrants this carpet against damage caused by Matcom bleeding scotch onto it for 30 years or until Mrs. Matcom sends his drunk ass to AA, whichever comes first. Warranty is void if he bleeds scotch onto it then sets it on fire with one of those cheap-ass cigars he likes.

[Midlodemocrat]

17. I can't just DO that. It's a matter of trust. I am in

Mrs.Matcom's circle of trust and I must tell her. It's the rule.

[jmowreader]

81. Telling her is fine

But come on now. You know those huge Matcom-shaped stains on the carpet where the scotch seeped through his pores after he passed out? The ones that make their house look like some kind of crime scene? Don't you think she DESERVES a carpet that doesn't make the house look like a mass murder was committed there?

Well, I certainly do.

Fuck it, man. When I win the Powerball tomorrow night, I'll buy her a new carpet. Just because I'm a nice guy.

[Midlodemocrat]

85. Okay, I'll get her new carpet

but I DO have to tell her about matcom's indiscretion.

[Oeditpus Rex]

8. A team of private investigators

to find reyd reid reed's daughter.

[Midlodemocrat]

10. Man, no kidding. I feel like we should take up a collection.

[lizziegrace]

84. That's my vote too...

:(

[Nicole]

9. New hips

Mine don't work so good in my old age. :P

[Midlodemocrat]

11. Okay, but where does one find such an item?

Target? Goodwill? Kroger?


:P

[Nicole]

13. I'm not sure

I bet some joint would have them though. :rofl:

[Midlodemocrat]

15. Any old joint?

:rofl:

[Nicole]

28. Of course

Beggars can't be choosers, or so I've heard. :)

[GOPisEvil]

14. One hundred thousand dollars.

I'd like to pay off my mortgage. I'm not greedy. ;)

[Midlodemocrat]

18. For you, you major hottie you, a paid off mortgage

a new BMW convertible AND a house at the beach.

[GOPisEvil]

20. Woohoo!!!

Excellent! Thank you! :)

[matcom]

21. oh great. YOU get all that but I can't have whores?

like THAT'S fair :eyes:

[GOPisEvil]

24. Well...if you ever manage to get some whores...

Bring them over to the beach house! We'll party. :bounce:

[matcom]

26. ooooo we can TAG-TEAM Midlo's generosity!

and get EVERYTHING we want!

ask for scotch! ASK FOR SCOTCH!!!11

FOR THE LOVE OF GOD ASK FOR SCOTCH!!!!!!!!!!!!1111

[GOPisEvil]

27. I think the whores should bring the scotch.

After all, wouldn't Midlo spring for some high-class whores? :D

[matcom]

31. one can never be too sure

Midlo is unpredictable when it comes to purchasing whores. she has a track record of shopping at Wal-Mart (she live in Virginia you know) :eyes:

i'm not sure she will look for those first rate whores in NYC or Boston or Miami. she might be shopping for us in *gasp* Fairfax

:scared:

[GOPisEvil]

33. There are whores in Virginia?

I thought Pat Robertson and Jerry Falwell ran them all out of state.

[matcom]

35. they live underground

and are covered in motor oil from attending all those NASCAR events

who ELSE keeps the chewing tobacco companies in business do you suppose?

[GOPisEvil]

39. Maybe they can bring spittoons!

:bounce:

[matcom]

43. never happen

they can't carry them in their Capris :eyes:

[GOPisEvil]

45. Hmm...maybe that's why they all carry empty Coke bottles

:think:

[Nicole]

36. DAMMIT!

I was just fixin' to ask if I could come visit your new beach house.

Nevermind! I got no scotch & I ain't no whore.:P

I prefer wine & giving it away. :rofl:

[GOPisEvil]

38. Hey now...that sounds like a better plan!

Let matcom get his own beach house! :rofl:

[matcom]

40. but she don't got no scotch!

where are your PRIORITIES man!

[GOPisEvil]

44. Wine, scotch, it's all booze to me!

:P

[Nicole]

47. Works for me!

:rofl:

Nicole debates whether she should delete her reply above regarding worn out hips. :evilgrin:

[GOPisEvil]

52. Well....

...maybe we can ALL get what we want. :evilgrin:

[Fleshdancer]

122. naughty naughty thread!

:rofl:

[GOPisEvil]

124. What? Who? Me?

O8)


:rofl:

[Fleshdancer]

125. what? who? huh?

I know better. You rented your wings from Lucy in Disguise With Diamonds off of South Congress. ;)

Thank Goddess

:evilgrin:

[Midlodemocrat]

49. Has GOPisEVIL EVER said anything even remotely risque

about my precious baby who just turned 16? I didn't think so.

[GOPisEvil]

58. 16?

No, no...orange is not my color.

[Midlodemocrat]

59. Yup. Last week. and this lottery thing is going to come in handy

because she wants a car. And with my husband cut off from disability, (thank you insurance) I am going to be needing this big payoff.

[GOPisEvil]

62. Darn straight!

Cut off from disability? Assholes.

[Midlodemocrat]

66. It's actually kinda funny and we got it all straightened out.

but his company is paying him 70% which is fine. We are just not spending as much, so it has been fine. But, they cut him off a day before we went to the cardiologist and when I called them to ask why they had cut him off after 4 weeks when the standard of care is 12, they replied.....


Ready?


That they hadn't heard from the doctor. Then I had to tell them it was because he hadn't BEEN to the doctor yet.


What a joke. But the clerk was fine about it and they approved him for the full 90 days. My thing was, what if the person was truly incapacitated, like the guy next to Mike in ICU that they couldn't get off the ventilator? What would he have done?

One more thing to make me nuts.

[GOPisEvil]

69. Oh, ok. Glad it's all straightened out.

I bet some code wasn't entered correctly in a computer. Sometimes all the automation of this world has made us stupid. It's like we have to over-ride our own labor saving devices which really doesn't save labor. :crazy:

[Fleshdancer]

126. bright orange? no...

but you'd look FABULOUS in BURNT orange. Just saying....

:rofl:

[Midlodemocrat]

48. I may need to rethink my generosity now that

M.A.T.C.O.M. has hijacked my thread and used the 'w' word.

[GOPisEvil]

56. Noooooo!

Please...I HAVE to humor him... Shhhhh. ;)

[Midlodemocrat]

57. I know. He is kinda scary. That scooter thing and all.

:bounce:

[GOPisEvil]

64. It's not the scooter so much. It's the leathers.

:scared:

[Midlodemocrat]

70. and the dog.

:scared:

[GOPisEvil]

72. That dog is a trip.

I've had the pleasure of meeting Remi. Ugly. And stupid. :scared:

[Midlodemocrat]

73. Remi and Chessie the wonderdog would get along famously.

Chessie is our dachschund 15 pounds of peeing power. But, only on the carpet on the second floor. :eyes:

She loves other dogs, but other dogs don't necessarily love her, so she has had her heart broken more than once while trying to make friends.

[GOPisEvil]

74. Remi has "pees on hind legs". That's the extent of his charm.

At least I didn't make him hyperventilate until he passed out like Pitt did. :rofl:

[Fleshdancer]

123. leather?? I thought it was the manpri pants that did him in

:shrug:

[jmowreader]

16. I would like a gallon of blue car paint

I would like to have a blue car, but the one I've got runs okay. So just send me a gallon of blue car paint and I'll think that's great.

Before you decide that a gallon of blue car paint is a cheap-ass thing to send someone, wait till you find out what one costs.

[Midlodemocrat]

19. I will get you a new blue car and you can give the one you have

to the kidney foundation. Everyone wins!!!

[jmowreader]

86. Yeah, you're probably right...

especially since using the gallon of car paint can lead to needing the services of the kidney foundation.

I actually have a better place for this car if I can afford to buy a new one. One of the high schools in town has an auto repair program that's about as good as the community college's--and the car I drive is the most popular year-range car (1986-1991 Honda Accord) ever made. I figure that if they're going to run a car repair program, they should have access to a specimen of the most common car in Fayetteville.

[Blue-Jay]

22. I'd like a vintage King Super 20 alto sax.

They're very cool, and not too ungodly expensive.

Cannonball Adderly used to play one. Solid silver bell and neck:


I promise to play it for you.

[Midlodemocrat]

23. Done. One thing though.

And, don't tell the lounge, but I'm not a big fan of jazz. :hide:

[Blue-Jay]

25. S'Okay. I can play any style.

I'm not picky.

[miss_american_pie]

29. May I have a whip

I have a score to settle with Billyskank. :evilgrin:

[Midlodemocrat]

51. For you. An entire dungeon of 'toys'.

But, be nice to billyskank. We really do love him.

[miss_american_pie]

53. Oh thank you

So do I. :)

[Zomby Woof]

30. I want 50,000 chickens

With 20,000 boxes of corn flakes.

Then we're going to throw the biggest party on both coasts!

[Midlodemocrat]

54. Only if you promise not to coat them in Lucky Charms like

you know who suggested. He even wanted to use the marshmallow charms for the stuffing. He is a sick, sick man.

[Zomby Woof]

61. Don't get him started on Crunch Berries!

He uses them for special visual effects I can't bear to describe here. x( He calls it "Fried Chicken Pox".

Sick man, indeed!

[devilgrrl]

32. Please donate to public libraries...

because it's a good thing to do. :shrug:

[Midlodemocrat]

78. I do that already.

My mom was a HUGH supporter of public libraries and this was even before the internets. She was a librarian when she graduated from college and after she got married to my dad and up until she was four months pregnant with me (showing my age, but she had to provide the employer with a letter from the doctor that she wasn't further along than that)

A huge supporter of reading. My mom and my dad read every single night. I still can picture her at the kitchen table and my dad in the living room. My dad only read non-fiction and we got such a kick, as we got older of course, of him telling us the inaccuracies of certain books.

[Callalily]

34. If you still have dollars

left after donating to libraries, could you please give a little something to homeless shelters? Thanks.

[Midlodemocrat]

63. I actually do that IRL. And to the library.

I'm an all around sucker for charities of any kind.

[Gormy Cuss]

37. Nothing for me, thank you.

You gave me a star already. :hi:

[Midlodemocrat]

55. I did? Wow. I'm nicer than I thought.

And who better to get one than you? :hug:

[Gormy Cuss]

75. I told you that I was a troll.

You gave me the star anyway. You are a very nice person.:hug:

[Midlodemocrat]

76. That's okay. You are a very nice troll.

:hug:

And, the money goes to DU, so it's not a bad thing.

[Fleshdancer]

41. The only thing I need is healthcare

Perhaps you could start up some sort of DU health plan! :bounce:

[Midlodemocrat]

77. Anything for you, GloriaSmith.

:bounce:

[ohiosmith]

42. Matching glass eyes would be nice.

[Midlodemocrat]

50. What color?

[ohiosmith]

60. Like this.

[MadAsHellNewYorker]

46. I would like you to help me fund my

animal hospital. ill even name it after you: "The Midlodemocrat Animal Clinic"

[Midlodemocrat]

67. Done. When I strike it big, and I plan to, MAHNY

I am really going to fund a foundation in honor of my mom and dad and I won't forget that. Even if it is years from now. Seriously.

[MadAsHellNewYorker]

79. the foundation sounds wonderful

:hi:

what a great way to honor those closest to us :hug:

[Midlodemocrat]

80. That is my dream. I can only hope to achieve it.

[MadAsHellNewYorker]

83. ill dream it with you

:D

[NC_Nurse]

65. Pay off my mortgage too

so I can go take care of my mom instead of everyone else's parents.

when she's gone, I promise I'll go back to helping other parents! :-)

[Midlodemocrat]

68. I'm on it. WOuld you like a beach house, too? Like GOPisEVIL?

I'm thinking the Outer Banks???? Doesn't that sound nice???

[NC_Nurse]

71. Wow!

That sounds wonderful!

:D :toast: :toast: :toast: :toast: :bounce: :bounce: :bounce:

[greatauntoftriplets]

82. A table and chairs for the dining area....

that look nice with my antique cherry sideboard.

Thank you! What a generous lady you are.

:hi:

[Midlodemocrat]

90. How about a lovely Oriental rug to go with that?

For you....anything. :hug:

[greatauntoftriplets]

92. Why thank you!!!

The walls are a deep red. And the rug would look great with the antique Oriental rug in the living room that I inherited from an aunt.

:D

:bounce:

:hug:

And I don't even want a beach house. Cleaning one place is more than enough.....

[NNadir]

87. I want you to assess how much money you really have, think carefully,

put as much money as you can in foreign securities since the US dollar is doomed, I want you to grow your assets, and come back and help feed us when the shit hits the fan.

Good luck.

[Ptah]

88. Donate 100,000 to DU

Ten stars, for as long as each takes to reach 10,000 posts.

10 x 10,000 = 100,000

[Midlodemocrat]

89. For you, $250,000 in cash and then you and I

will take over DU.MWAHHHHH

[Ptah]

93. I'd rather have a nice kitchen.

I can't even lock a thread.
You would be very disappointed in my abilities
and sue me for incompetence,
bleeding DU out.

http://www.democraticunderground.com/discuss/duboard.php?az=show_mesg&forum=105&topic_id=5414577&mesg_id=5416410


Thanks anyway, my friend.


:hi:

[Midlodemocrat]

95. Just think of the fun we could have when we take over DU.

How could Skinner resist a $10 million payout? I mean, seriously, how could he?


MMMMMWWWWWAAAAAHHHHHHHH


Be afraid, be very afraid.

[dolo amber]

91. Smaller boobs!

:bounce:

Then I could do that without causing severe injury. x(

[Midlodemocrat]

97. I have to check with hedges first.

Informed consent and all that.


:bounce: OUCH!

[ikojo]

94. Just pay off my outstanding debts...

that way I will not have to worry as much about needing a roommate...my roomie situation is precarious...he is seeing a married woman and is going on a cruise with her in August. I worry that when he comes back after the cruise, she will have talked him into quitting his job here and moving to the state where she lives. I cannot afford this place at this time only on my salary. If I didn't have any outstanding debts, I could afford it but it still would be a wee bit tight.

[Midlodemocrat]

98. I'm on it.

(and if I really do win, I won't forget you)

:hug:

[ikojo]

120. Thank you!!!

My lease is up in Sept 2007 so I am trying to pay things off way before then, that way when he moves out then (as I expect him to..he gave me his word he'd stay through this lease) I will be a bit more prepared.

[Fox Mulder]

96. I want to go back to college...

and I don't want to wait for a couple of years.

If somehow I got the cash to go early, I'd most appreciate it...

:D

[Midlodemocrat]

99. Only if you promise to go to school, study hard and get your

master's.


:bounce:

[Fox Mulder]

101. I promise!

:)

[Midlodemocrat]

103. Being serious here, if you want to go back.

I have a book of grantmakers that target students. I would be more than happy to send you the information. I think you might be surprised at what is out there.

[Fox Mulder]

105. Really?

I pretty much used up my state and federal grants...are you telling me there's others I could get?

[lizziegrace]

107. If she hits the lottery

she'll pay cash for your tuition. :)

[Midlodemocrat]

110. I am. I have a grant book for work

but it's upstairs two flights up and I'm waiting to let the teenager who lost her key in, so I will PM you with the info. It's the least I can do.


But, in the event that I DO win the lottery, I WILL pay your tuition.

*fingers crossed*

[lizziegrace]

112. Could you also PM me the information for Lelapin?

Her returning to college this fall still isn't a done deal. I'm begging financial aid to do better...

[Midlodemocrat]

117. Absolutely. First thing in the AM

[Fox Mulder]

114. ...

:hug:

[lizziegrace]

115. Sorry Fox!

I misunderstood. Obviously! :blush:

[lizziegrace]

100. Okay, I'm being selfish

Besides a team of PI's to find Sarah, I'd like a full-time, PERMANENT job with benefits. I'm an accountant. Can I manage your foundation funds??

Please??

Oh, and college for Lelapin. She's worked so hard for it.

[Midlodemocrat]

102. For you....anything.

You are the best! :hug:

How's your daughter feeling BTW?

[lizziegrace]

104. She's doing fine.

Did you see the photos of her with one of the bull calves in our barn?

She wants me to buy him when he's auctioned after the fair.

:)

[Midlodemocrat]

106. I missed that. I'll go search for it.

[lizziegrace]

108. I'll give you a link n/t

[lizziegrace]

109. Here

http://www.democraticunderground.com/discuss/duboard.php?az=view_all&address=105x5407229

[LSdemocrat]

111. How about an owned and operated DU Congressperson?

How much do representatives cost these days?

[Midlodemocrat]

113. How about an owned DU Senateperson?????

I'm liking the sound of that, baby!

:bounce:

[NNadir]

119. Probably one could buy a senator pretty cheaply.

I don't know the exact amount, but we would not have to own all of the Senator.

Many different people owned former congressman Randy Cunningham, and I think most of them were satisfied with their returns on investment.

[ikojo]

116. I think the powerball is up to $123 million

and that may still not be enough to purchase a congress critter, not for an extended period of time.

[Midlodemocrat]

118. Woohoo. It's a start!!!

:bounce:

[Dangerously Amused]

121. I don't really NEED anything.

I'm luckier than most people on the planet. Maybe you could make a donation to the war orphans instead. And your local no-kill animal shelter. That would be nice.



:hug:

[Juffo Wup]

127. My face on the one-dollar bill

Failing that, I'll take a couple hundred thousand of them.

[crim son]

128. Well, it really depends on how much you win.

But if it's hundred of millions of dollars, could you please buy my house? I can't separate from my husband until we sell this place and I'm quickly losing hope.

Only $539K. Going, going, gone!