Hey! Write a "Room-mate wanted" ad - but advertise your bad features

[HEyHEY]

In a craig's list style, not a short newspaper style.
Here's mine.

"Hi, I'm looking for a roomate. I'm a working professional who doesn't have set hours but makes enough to survive, so I SHOULD make rent every month. Just quit smoking and medication at the same time, so I'm a little edgy. I'm prone to obnoxious behaviour and being rude to people (But only if they really deserve it). Also, pretty well everything I say is a smart-ass comment.
I really like Tijauna brass.
I hate cleaning but, will keep the kitchen neat. I like to leave my ties lying around the house in various places. I cook with garlic, alot.... and unless I'm in the good mood, I will go out of my way to make dinner when you aren't around in case you want some. It's not that I'm greedy, it's just that cooking for one is survival, cooking for two is a pain in the ass."

[pitohui]

1. hm-kay i'll play

seeking: roommate who can afford to put down a huge deposit because i simply don't trust you to pay your rent on time.

i'm allergic to fur and smoke, so no smoking indoors and no pets.

on the porch where you will wish to smoke, I have a large number of bad-tempered birds who will scold you for your bad habits and for extra bonus points they always squawk at dawn to greet the sun, loudly enough to be heard inside the house, so be a deep sleeper unless you need to get up early for your job, in which case you will not need to bring an alarm clock.

i don't converse, i don't answer the phone, i don't instant message, and i don't text, if you want to tell me something, send me an email and i'll read it and respond when i damn well feel like. if you are a dependent person who needs someone to help you watch teevee, do us both a favor and go elsewhere.

[HEyHEY]

2. You know... this really may be a better way to approach

finding roomates.

[CanuckAmok]

3. I (heart) farting!

n/t

[wickerwoman]

4. Hi!

I'm a late 20s profession woman, non-smoker, non-drinker with 2 cats.

I'm looking for someone to pay the bills (literally- I have the money but always forget) and eat 3/4 of my cooking. I love to bake but never eat it all myself. Must love doing dishes and taking out trash because I usually can't be bothered. Gardening skills are a plus- I have the blackest of black thumbs but enjoy house plants.

You will not be issued an apartment key and will need to give at least 24 hours notice whenever you want to enter the apartment so I will have time to hide anything compromising. You will not be allowed in public areas between the hours of 7am-5am Sat-Wed or at any time on Thursday and Friday.