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I felt the same last night - totally overwhelmed, panicky, etc, for other reasons, but still, it is an awful place to be.
But - you are exceptionally bright; I've been posting here for over four years and it is just obvious from what you write, how you reply, your range of knowledge. If you are having fine motor skills issues, are there any kinds of research assistant jobs available? Is going back to school even an option? I know money is an issue, but if you were eligible for scholarships years ago, I don't see why you wouldn't be now. Do you live anywhere near a vet school? Could you work for the school in an administrative position? Do you live near any universities where you could work?
I don't mean to cause grief by asking ignorant questions. It's just that you so clearly have a first rate mind. Nothing wrong with waitressing, but damn it'd be nice if you could be using your noggin in your work.
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