The stupidest vegan I ever met

[jmowreader]

This guy I knew in Berlin. His name was Ron. He was assistant manager at the Berlin Brigade Morale, Welfare and Recreation Division photo lab on McNair Barracks, where I developed a LOT of film.

He was also a professional photographer. This was back during the late 1980s/early 1990s, when photography was a chemical process.

Anyway, this guy liked to tell everyone he met how he was just this fantastic vegan. No one knew what the fuck a vegan was, so he'd educate us: He didn't eat meat, he wouldn't eat in restaurants that served meat (in Berlin he had a wide range of restaurants to choose from), he wouldn't have a friend who ate meat, he wouldn't wear any animal-sourced apparel--no leather or wool--and he would never exploit an animal in any way, shape or form.

Remember what he did for a living.

Anyway, one fine day I'm sitting in the photo lab waiting for ten rolls of slide film to dry and, across the table, this idiot is telling everyone how he'd never, ever use any product derived from an animal. I lost it.

"Ron, what do you do for a living?"
'You know. I'm a photographer.'
"How can you justify that in light of your veganism?"
'What do you mean?'
"What's film made out of?"
'Mylar film and silver halides.'
"And what are the silver halides suspended in?"
'Uhh...I don't know.'
"They're suspended in hard gelatin, which is made by boiling cow bones."

Ever seen a vegan turn white?

I'm not sure whether he just moderated his veganism or just converted to vegetarianism, because he kept shooting. This guy was who the digital camera was invented for, so I'm almost certain he went digital the minute he could.