DU guys: How bad did/does rejection hurt?

[RandomKoolzip]

Poll question: DU guys: How bad did/does rejection hurt?

Take a few minutes and think about that one girl in high school who you would have given everything to be with, and think about how she basically told you to go eat shit. Or better yet, extended the option of "friends" (oh jeez, thanks).

How many times has a woman told you that you're "like a brother" to her? And how bad does that make you squirm?

Think about the worst time you got your heart broken.

[LoZoccolo]

1. She was 18; I was 17. Her next boyfriend was /14/!

But I did manage to get like 12 people together to TP his house, and this was like, out of their own motivations, not because they owed me favors. Ha ha ha ha!

[jpgray]

2. These are all dumb polls

:P

[miss_american_pie]

3. Why would that be any different for men than women?

[RandomKoolzip]

7. I told you it was a dumb poll.

[miss_american_pie]

8. Okay

Then I won't subject you to my "how do you think it feels to be treated like a set of orifices" lecture. ;)

[ScreamingMeemie]

4. I guess 67% of my DU "brother" "friends" don't want to talk about it

just yet. :hug:

[RandomKoolzip]

6. Well, if they were head-ever-heels infatuated with you...

and you told them that, they'd be in pain.

I have no problem with my female friends talling me that I'm "like a brother," as long as I don't have romatic feelings toward them.




With every post, I'm regretting even bringing this up. :cry:

[ScreamingMeemie]

15. If I wasn't married (I know that's a crappy line too) I would be totally

head over heels for you RKZ! :hug:

[RandomKoolzip]

17. Aw!

:hugs:

Really?

Maybe I don't regret starting this thread after all.....:hi:

[ScreamingMeemie]

21. Really!!

I miss you when you are not here, and your posts always make me smile. Those are my prerequisites. :D

[no name no slogan]

5. Other: Robb is a dingbat

Seriously, it used to bother me quite a bit, but it really doesn't bug me anymore. Mainly because I've got a better sense of self-esteem and a stronger sense of who I am and why I'm a decent human being.

[RandomKoolzip]

11. I basically spent a year of my life moping.....

And doing as much drugs as I could swallow after this one girl in high school broke my heart.

Now that I'm married, I'm glad I don't have to go through that crap anymore.

[taterguy]

9. It felt like being under water longer than I wanted to

Reminded me of the time I jumped off a cliff and surfaced under a rubber raft, a bit disorienting, frightening and uncomfortable.

[RandomKoolzip]

12. Very good analogy.

[jpgray]

19. I'd say that nails it

[skygazer]

10. Rejection hurts for everybody, male or female

What's your point?

[RandomKoolzip]

13. My point is that I'm a sexist bastard who hates women.

[skygazer]

14. Cool.

Carry on. :hi:

[Nicholas D Wolfwood]

35. ....

:rofl::rofl::rofl::rofl::rofl::rofl:

[FarLeftRage]

16. In High School, I was completely shunned by my classmates

I was the "New Kid in Town" and it lasted the entire three years that I was there... I never had to endure the experience of such a situation. I became a loner at that point and I'm still pretty much one today.

[RandomKoolzip]

22. That's the smartest path to take.

Sometimes I think we'd all be better off leaving each other alone so that we may all acheive great things without the burden of romantic involvement.

Then I look at my wife and realize I'm a jerk for even entertaining such notions.

But it sure would spare a lot of people a lot of pain.....

[FarLeftRage]

47. Well, truth be told, I don't like being a loner

I did not really want that situation...but circumstances put me in it otherwise.

It still pretty much haunts me to this day.

[redqueen]

32. I got more than shunned.

At the one high school... the "smart kids" magnet I went to for one year... the guys thought it would be a good idea to rank all the girls in the freshman class (according to apperance, of course). Then it would be even better to pass that list around, you know, just to be nice!

I was second to last.

On a positive note, the girl who was last on the list and I got to be good friends... so there's that.

At the regular high school... the one I dropped out of... the guys thought it would be fun to play funny jokes on me. Like the one time they passed me a note, a note that was supposed to have come from this guy who was a 'popular' kid, asking me to a dance. I didn't know what to do... so I lied. I wrote that I already had a boyfriend that didn't go to our school... lame, huh?

The kid felt bad about it, at least... he apologized.

But somehow, that apology just made it hurt worse. Weird, huh?

[FarLeftRage]

48. Yes that is wierd

It is not a good thing to endure such an experience and I certainly would not wish it on anyone.

[redqueen]

49. I thought so...

I'm currently puzzling about why I'm not all bitter and angry about it... it seems that's by far the more popular reaction to these high school issues.

[regularguy]

18. Drugs helped, got over it slowly.

Decades later (November of 2004, to be exact), I would have a similar - if less intense - feeling.

[RandomKoolzip]

20. If it hadn't been for drugs, I think I'd STILL be reeling.

[dysfunctional press]

23. backhanded compliments can sting the worst...

i'm not all that comfortable/confident about my looks in the first place, and didn't really date all that much, but i remember like it was yesterday two similar comments from two different women on different occasions, who probably had he best of intentions with what they said...but 20 years later, some of the hurt still lingers.

woman 1: (said while necking on the couch)"you know, you're a lot better looking up close than from across the room"

woman 2: (said from across the table at dinner)"up close, you're not that bad looking..."

is it just me, or could they have been at least a little more delicate with their words...?

btw- both comments were out of the blue, and un-solicited(i.e. they weren't done in the context of a larger conversation about appearance or anything like that)

[miss_american_pie]

24. That's just hateful

Regardless of gender.

[dysfunctional press]

43. the thing is, they weren't trying to be hateful...

just the opposite in fact.

[leftofthedial]

25. dude. Wipe and move on.

more than half the people in the world are female.

[RandomKoolzip]

27. Ah. Am I supposed to consider that a "smackdown" or something?

[leftofthedial]

45. no. I'm not a "smackdown" kind of guy

just a big old jerk.

Your scenario hurts, and I'm sorry for your pain, but it's not like a long-term relationship ended, leaving a void in your life. If she just wants to be friends, then decide if that will work for you or not. Hey! There are worse things than getting a new friend. If you're looking for a romantic relationship, keep looking. Lick your wounds (and count your blessings--we DUers all know you would be a great catch; she obviously isn't worthy).

This is just advice. Feel your feelings, but don't wallow in it. Move on. Get on with life. Find another one and take a whack.

[RandomKoolzip]

51. Well, thanks, but I'm not going through said situation right now.

I'm happily married and haven't had feelings for anyone but my wife for quite some time. THis poll was in reference to an exchange redqueen and I had on a seperate thread.

THE POINT of which is that many men become hardened and unreceptive to "romance" and other fantasies/lies associated with dating because of rejections they've suffered in the past. They learn not to trust anyone, and therefore many of them, in their 20's and 30's, are only looking for sex. They're afraid of suffering the same pain and hurt they suffered from being rejected and/or having their hearts broken early in life, so they try to never again extend themselves in the same manner.

If this doesn't pertain to you, fine. If it does, fine. I'm just trying to elucidate an observation.

[crispini]

59. Oh, you think that women don't get rejected? JEEZ.

Date a nice guy a few times, he just disappears and you wonder what happened to him. Think that doesn't hurt? Or date a guy for six months and THEN he tells you that he doesn't want a commitment. Think that doesn't hurt?

[RandomKoolzip]

61. Wow! I had no idea!

:eyes:


Like I said to redqueen downthread, it's hilarious how I title a thread "Guys: How does ____ feel?" and get mostly pissed-off responses from women.

[redqueen]

78. Pissed off?

Which women were pissed off?

I'm really curious... I guess I need to read over the responses more carefully... they seemed to be mostly from men...

[crispini]

80. Ya know, I had no problem with the OP,

but your post above that I responded to did piss me off:

THE POINT of which is that many men become hardened and unreceptive to "romance" and other fantasies/lies associated with dating because of rejections they've suffered in the past. They learn not to trust anyone, and therefore many of them, in their 20's and 30's, are only looking for sex. They're afraid of suffering the same pain and hurt they suffered from being rejected and/or having their hearts broken early in life, so they try to never again extend themselves in the same manner.

And here's why. You are using the fact that women reject men as an excuse for these men to then become hardened and unreceptive to romance. You are putting the blame on the women for the men's "only looking for sex." (Of COURSE that's going to piss women off!) However, everyone gets rejected. If a man uses the "I've been rejected" line of thought as an excuse to get "hardened and unreceptive" then he only has himself and his own personal development to blame.

Men get rejected. Women get rejected. The ones who are capable of it, learn from the experience and go on to grow and become more mature people. The ones who AREN'T capable of it "become hardened and unreceptive."

[leftofthedial]

71. I've never had myheart broken (yeah, right)

but I have had blue balls a number of times.

[ZombieNixon]

26. Last time I was rejected ("friends") was in October.

I was over that within 24 hours. Last time I got my heart broken...well, I'm still getting over that, and I was one who had to do the dumping. :(

[RandomKoolzip]

28. Ouch. Sorry to hear that, man.

[ZombieNixon]

31. Well, it was a week and a half ago.

I'm pretty much resigned to the fact that it's gonna be a while. :shrug:

[redqueen]

34. 24 hours you say?

Wow... that doesn't seem too bad... maybe I'm not a cold unfeeling person after all. :hi:

If you had to do the breaking up, and it broke your heart, I take it you had a good reason. Kudos to you for your courage and strength. I'm not that strong a person. :hug:

[ZombieNixon]

38. I think it was more the "cutting off a long time friend" thing

than the "losing a girlfriend" thing.

Although, the fact that the sex was really good didn't help matters. x(

[redqueen]

39. I hear ya!

Boy, do I hear that. *sigh*

Like I said... I'm not that strong a person! :rofl:

[ZombieNixon]

41. Well, I wasn't about to risk her cheating on me again.

'Specially not with the cat shit sandwich she's with now. :grr:

I refuse to share really good sex.

:hide:

[redqueen]

42. Yeah...

You're way stronger than I am. :)

[tigereye]

29. um

got turned down for the Sadie Hawkins dance a few times. That sucked a lot. One guy said he had to babysit at the last minute.



It's funny how you usually have to leave high school to find the people that really "get" you. And that's probably a good thing. :hug:

(sorry, i forgot this was a "guy" poll.)

[redqueen]

30. I'm not a guy, but I've been rejected so it counts.

My whole dating life was me asking guys out, or asking if they were attached cause I was interested, or telling them I'd like to go out with them if they were interested. A bunch of different variations all seeking the same thing.

Most of the time I got rejected. I'd either hear that they were involved, or I was not their type, or that I came on too strong, or whatever. I do not ever remember it being that big a deal. I remember feeling a bit awkward around one of the guys after I'd asked him out, because we worked together, so... it was just weird seeing him at happy hours, parties, etc. Most of the time I just said "OK" and moved on. Maybe I'm just a cold, unfeeling person. I really doubt that's the case, though. Most people tell me that I'm too sensitive.

I'd like to point out that being rejected after asking a person out or telling them you were interested in them romatnically is *not at all* the same thing as having your heart broken. Not even close. What's with all this high school BS?

However, the one time I did have my heart broken (by a guy I'd asked out, after dating for a few months), it was devastating. That, I'll agree with. That's pain like no other. Made me think that it was indeed NOT better to have loved and lost then never to have loved at all.

[RandomKoolzip]

52. Re: "High School BS"

I thought I was being careful to include both the past and present tenses of the verb "do," so as to indicate that high school is where many Americans learn how to interact socially with one another, AND to indicate that there maybe some guys going through this kinda shit right now or recently who aren't in high school, or at least weren't in high school when the rejection happened.

My definition of "rejection" includes having strong romantic feelings for another person, extending gestures of interest in that area, and those gestures not being reciprocated. Maybe "Unrequited Love" might have been a better term for what I was going for here. Some other people might equate "rejection" with asking someone out at a bar and being rebuffed; I guess I use "being shot down" to deal with said situation, and no, it does not affect one as much as the situation limned by my subjective take on "rejection" does.

So I guess "High School BS" includes semantic quibbling as well.

In any event, I do think it strange that I post a thread asking "GUYS: how does ___________ feel?" and get mostly defensive, wary-bordering-on-dismissive responses from women. That's kinda amusing.

[redqueen]

69. Well it's two different questions, isn't it?

One is asking about rejection when approaching a woman... and one is asking about having your heart broken. I consider those two pretty far removed from each other. I guess you don't. ?

So yeah, unrequited love is an altogether different situation entirely, yes? It's not the same thing as being rejected when approaching a woman... it's not the same thing as having your heart broken, either. And guess what... women get that as well.

High School BS is what it is. I posted upthread what happened to ME in high school... I should think all the adults here would have let that kind of shit go by now. If a girl used boys to do their chores because the boys had crushes, well that's high school BS, see? Same with that crush you had on the girl who you were in love with you shot you down (speaking of the general "you" here, not you personally). It's nothing to do with semantics, it's the stupid shit kids do in high school.

Do you mean the posts from women are mostly defensive and wary? Or that most of your posts are from devensive, wary women? Not clear from that sentence. Either way, I'm surprised you think it's strange. I would think that most women are tired of men thinking that the pain of rejection or heartbreak is theirs alone, or that their brand is somehow worse than women's. Especially considering that said pain has been used as an excuse today as a reason why men would approach a woman for a romantic relationship, but be completely dismissive of her as anything else.

[RandomKoolzip]

72. Well, fine.

I just think it's strange that a thread intended half as joke/half as a chance for guys to commiserate with each other is instead being used as a pulpit from which to punish those same guys for imagined slights. It's as if some DU woman posted a thread asking "DU Women: how bad does rejection hurt?" and instead of women responding with their respective horror stories, a bunch of men invaded the thread and started lecturing the women on why they deserved it.

Whatever. I'm done with it anyways.

[redqueen]

75. Where's all this defensiveness coming from?

I don't see any women lecturing men on how they deserve anything.

I don't see anyone trying to "punish" men for any slights.

I did see the exact opposite in that thread about whether or not a guy would want to be friends. I saw men using their past hurts as an excuse to only pursue women as romantic interests... and dismiss them if they would rather be friends. That, to me (and obviously, most if not all other women) is just plain shitty. Sorry if our reactions to that shitty reality offends you.

[RandomKoolzip]

83. Well, the OP of that thread asked a clear-cut question TO men

...and got clear-cut answers that she hadn't bargained for FROM men; I suppose I'm getting the same thing here, except that I'm getting answers from WOMEN that have little or nothing to do with my OP, many of them somehow gleaning from it that I somehow don't think any man has ever rejected any woman ever before. I have no earthly idea where they'd get that notion for the four sentences included in the OP.

There's defensiveness on both sides here, redqueen: in that other thread, you seemed utterly wounded to the core that there are men who refuse to settle for being friends with a woman in whom they have a romantic interest. You even bristled at jpgray's assertion that humans are animals.

Here's what it all boils down to, in plain English: If a man has romantic feelings toward a woman and he takes the initiative and makes romantic overtures to that woman and gets rejected, he's going to be in emotional pain. It's still going to hurt if that woman says "well, we can be friends," because we can't just turn off our emotions like a faucet. This happens often enough to a man and he's going to get hardened to the courtship process. He may even become quite cynical.

NOW: substitute the word "woman" for "man" in that paragraph, and vice versa, 'n' VOYLA! you've got the same thing, as pertains to women. I'd say 40% of the posts in this thread are chiding me for not treating this situation with equanimity; well, there's your equanimity.

[redqueen]

85. Well it's kinda hard to answer your OP isn't it?

Cause it's about what... three different subjects/situations? So yeah, the answers have to do with your OP. I think they do. And I think you know very well where they got the idea that men seem to think that the emotional pain of rejection is theirs and theirs alone... from the thread you mentioned in the first sentence of your last post. Those men were using that pain, that supposedly crippling pain, as an excuse to rationalize their compartmentalization of women they approach as either romantic partners or people they want nothing to do with. Do you *really* not see the disconnect there?

Yes, I was wounded when I read that thread. It hurts me to think that men are only interested in me as a romantic partner, and not as a person. Is that really so surprising? And then to have it all brushed aside with 'well we've been hurt, and don't want to go through that again'... yes, we've all been hurt, not just men. And it hurts even more to think that men wouldn't be hurt if we wanted them to either be romantic partners or just get out of our lives.

I find it hard to believe that men have some deep, emotional bond with women before they ask them out. That just seems ludicrous on its face. You cannot love someone you do not know. And if you DO know them before you ask them out, then you should ALREADY consider that person a friend. See where it all falls apart for us?

I'd say 40% is a generous estimate.

[skygazer]

70. Well, I don't think my response was overly defensive

But all I got from it was a sarcastic reply (which I did answer with good humor).

My reason for asking what I did was that there seems to be an assumption in your post that it's worse for a guy to suffer rejection somehow and I wondered why. I'm not sure why guys take being turned down for a date as such a huge blow but some of them really seem to - I would think they'd be relieved that women aren't going out with them because they can't find a way to say no. And yet so many are insulted by the "friends" thing. It seems you just can't win.

On the other hand, I can understand perfectly why one would be hurt by the end of a romance. But "unrequited love" as you define it above is just a fantasy - "having strong romantic feelings for another person, extending gestures of interest in that area, and those gestures not being reciprocated." Sure, it's a bummer when those interests aren't shared but I can't equate it with the heartbreak of an actual relationship breaking up. It's not like there was anything in that scenario but an interest so taking it as some sort of huge rejection seems like overkill.

[RandomKoolzip]

76. Commiseration. (sp?)

If there are assumptions anywhere, they are yours. I was merely asking, as a GUY, other GUYS how they felt when they were rejected by women.

And that you would dismiss the hurt caused by unreciprocated feelings for another person as mere "fantasy" or "overkill" strikes me as fairly callous, if not more callous than anything Vash or JVS posted on that other thread. It seems that some women don't realize that they have the capacity to hurt men, because men have been the ones doing the hurting for so long.

[redqueen]

77. I disagree.

I think it's precisely *because* we have been hurt more often that we are dismissive. I know that's the case with me. In my huge case of unrequited love, it was crushing... still is to some degree... but I blame that on ME, not him. So yes, I call it fantasy... and going overboard... and allowing my heart to get carried away. So maybe that's it... maybe it's that women already take ownership of those feelings, and don't project the "blame" (if there even is any) for that kind of hurt onto others.

Just thinking out loud here...

[skygazer]

82. Well, I don't mean to make assumptions

Which is why I asked what I did, to clarify.

Nor do I mean to be callous but I can't see how simply being turned down by someone who you just had romantic ideas about can possibly qualify as heartbreak. Bruised ego and disappointment, yes. But I just can't see the comparison.

Look, I like men. As friends and as lovers. I enjoy their company and I don't look them as being enemies in any way, shape or form. ALL my posts on this subject have been an effort to understand point of view. Not to accuse or say that women have it worse (I don't think either sex has it worse - we're all capable of hurting each other) or to deny or minimize anyone's feelings.

Just to understand.

Sorry I intruded on your male comisseration thread (crap - no matter how I spell that, it doesn't look right). And I'm sorry if I offended you because that was not my purpose.

Peace. :hi:

[swag]

33. "It hurts like the fury, Pa!"

I hurts worse than shootin' Ol' Yeller.

[RandomKoolzip]

53. "It made me mad. It made me MEAN mad."

[In_The_Wind]

36. I didn't vote in your poll cause I'm not a guy but ~ It hurts like hell.

The last time was so bad that I didn't want to risk getting close to anyone for about 3 years.
Damn that was a lonely time.

[redqueen]

40. Are you answering 'getting rejected for a date'

or 'getting dumped/having your heart broken'?

Just curious...

[In_The_Wind]

44. I was talking about having my heart broken.

I'm not too wild about being rejected for a date but :sigh: it's not painful, just rather disappointing when it happens because honestly I'm not attracted to very many men these days.

[hunter]

37. I was always devestated.

For about two days I'd sit and stare into space, and then I'd start some huge coding project that would occupy all my waking time, and after a few days or weeks the project would turn out to be utter crap. Geez, I once wrote a very mediocre text processor in UCSD pascal. Yum. p-Code.

Then I'd go running long distances, at weird times in weird places.

It's funny the people I lived with never tried to kill me.

"God, put him out of his misery..."

[RandomKoolzip]

60. Exactly.

Whenever I'd get rejected, it took a lot of patience for my guy friends not to just say "fuck it," and drop me as a friend. I was a moper.

[redqueen]

79. Again, y'all are talking about breaking up, right?

This thread is all over the fuggin place.

[RandomKoolzip]

84. I'm talking about having feelings for a person....

and then putting myself on the line, extending a gesture of interest, and getting your ass handed to you. Suddenly you have to learn how to shut off those feelings, and it's difficult. Think of the movie "Carrie," except reverse the genders.

Again, your definition of "rejection" might differ.

[hunter]

91. Nope, not breaking up.

If I had the courage to ask, that meant it had been building up for weeks, maybe months...

It took just as long to bring it back after a crash & burn rejection.

I've broken up twice. If rejection sounds horrible...

[Deep13]

46. Consider the effort needed to do something really difficult.

Let's say climbing K-2. That is the emotional build-up for the sales pitch. Now, inches from the summit you make your move but fail to get a hand-hold. As a result you free fall 11,000 feet to the rocky valley below. After the shock of impact/rejection, you lay there numb, unable to move without caring if you live or die.

[redqueen]

50. Um... that was sarcasm, right?

:shrug:

[Deep13]

55. In what way?

It is metaphorical, but not sarcastic.

[redqueen]

66. The build up...

the whole K-2 thing. I just thought it seemed way, way over the top. Hyperbole, I was hoping. :)

[kwassa]

54. The bright side: you fell 11,000 feet and were only numb.

Not easy to do.

[Deep13]

56. Not everything needs a bright side.

I remember coming back from my vacation in Vegas and getting the stomach flu the next day. My mother said, be glad I didn't get sick on vacation. That pissed me off. I'm not going to be happy about any part of a stomach virus!

[ghostsofgiants]

57. You get used to it...

x(

[RandomKoolzip]

58. Yup. It's like gentrification.

[khashka]

62. My first love dumped me.

When he came back a week later, begging me to take him back, I told him "You had your chance and blew it. Too bad."

The last time (and only second time - I usually do the dumping) was by that ratfuck bastard. As far as I am concerned, RatFuck Bastard is his name. I never meant to fall in love with him - it was just sex - but I fell and I fell hard. We planned our future together. Looked at houses. Discussed moving to CA together and setting up a psych practice. We worked together on consulting jobs.

He wrote me this: "It's wonderful that you're in my life. I appreciate your mind and your character and your loving nature. I love you." A week later he dumped me. I hate him, still.

Khash.

[RandomKoolzip]

63. Yuck. What a prick.

[Commie Pinko Dirtbag]

64. How to make teleportation work in four easy steps:

1) Fall in love with a girl from your HS class

2) Fumble, stutter, be awkward, and totally fail to make meaningful contact with her

3) Repeat step (2) for a few months

4) Witness the girl in step (1) in a passionate kiss with another guy

Congratulations, you have just replaced your heart with a similarly-sized slab of solid helium, and that can only happen through teleportation. How to survive the experience is left as an exercise for the reader.

[RandomKoolzip]

65. I know you can't realistically high-five me back right now....

...but just know that I'm extending my hand forward in that particular gesture, okay?


:thumbsup:

[HEyHEY]

67. I tend to blame myself for everything, so "rejection" doesn't hurt

I just try to figure out where I went wrong.

[RandomKoolzip]

68. Then comes the furious self-mutilation/masturbation session, right?

[jpgray]

86. A man after my own heart

I always start with myself if something goes wrong too. Being a lapsed Catholic has its charms.

[TK421]

73. Doesn't hurt at all...feels good, actually

:D

[Dukkha]

74. so when someone tells you "you got nothing to lose"

if you ask someone out, you can tell them they are TOTALLY full of shit!!! you most definitely have a lot to lose.

[redqueen]

81. Seriously?

*baffled*

[hfojvt]

87. it is a little bit like

either
a) trying to get a piece of cheese out of a rat trap - you might get the cheese, if you are lucky or quick, or you might get your fingers broken
or
b) doing a dive off the high board. Belly flops are painful and embarrassing.

[redqueen]

88. I just can't see how it's that painful or even difficult really...

to ask out someone you barely know.

:shrug:

[hfojvt]

92. maybe it's not

it could be my Aspergers or some sort of rejection complex, but I had a fellow graduate student once chide me for my hesitation. However, I agreed to move in with his family to help share expenses (and lower my costs too). Then he found an apartment that he could afford and that was also too small to allow me to live there too. After 6 months his wife decided to take the family back home. So he came to ask if I would move in with him, and I noticed that he had a very hard time doing it - stammering and working his way up to it. So he did not have an easy time asking me for something - even something I had already agreed to do!
I could ask if you have tried it, but having seen an old picture of you, I can understand how you might have an easy time of it if you did.

[redqueen]

94. Don't be fooled by appearances

Whatever the reasons, I have not had an easy time of it. Did you see post 32? Those pics were taken when I was in my late 20s... and it was the first time I actually thought I was at least cute. Up until then, my experiences had had me thinking quite the opposite... but nothing ventured nothing gained right?

[Ariana Celeste]

89. I'm a chick, so didn't vote, but..

I've been rejected by chicks and dudes. It is truly painful. Doesn't matter if I've known em for a couple weeks or a couple years.... I have very little confidence and low self esteem.
Asking people out may be a piece of cake to some people, but to people like me you have to really have your heart set on it, or be drunk and/or on drugs, to be able to take that step. And even then it is *very* hard. Anxiety problems and all that.

[hfojvt]

93. "Yeah, we've all had some kind of wild thing

who came into our lives and made it hell.
You, me, we've all been there - nobody likes to lose
I don't care if it was last week or in the third grade!
SOMEBODY BROKE YOUR HEART!!!
WHAT WAS HER NAME?"
Sam Kineson "WILD THING"

[SouthoftheBorderPaul]

90. Combination of options one and three

Real fuckin' bad. Like surgery without anesthetic....then back in the ring. What can I say--I'm a masochist.

[Tafiti]

95. Momentary...

Just happened recently, and I felt pretty fuckin' terrible at first. I thought I'd feel that way for awhile, but I got over it way faster than I thought. But then again, I shouldn't have been surprised, I'm pretty resilient about most things. Some call me "emotion-less", but I think I'm just relentlessly rational about my feelings. No need to dwell, just move on.