Weird neighbors?

[The Velveteen Ocelot]

This is an odd situation. A few weeks ago, the first time we had any significant amount of snow, a man and a woman knocked on my door and offered to shovel my walk. This was in the evening after work and I was too tired to do it myself; so I agreed, paid them when they were finished, and that was that. They gave me their phone number, said they lived a couple of blocks away, and that they'd be happy to shovel snow for me whenever I needed it.

Then, a few days later, at about 9:00 at night, they showed up again (it hadn't snowed). They had a little girl with them, said their son was at some kind of school or sports event in a suburb about 15 miles from here, and for some reason he couldn't get a ride home. They wanted to know if I could give them a ride to pick up their son. I said no, sorry, I couldn't (it was late and my car was full of stuff, and anyhow, it just seemed weird). Then the woman wanted to know if I could give them cab fare. I said no, sorry, I didn't have much cash on me (this was true). Do you have any at all? she asked. So I gave her the $1.25 I had in my pocket and they went away.

Then, a few days later, on a Saturday morning, I was reading the paper at a nearby coffee shop, and the guy showed up and approached me. This was starting to creep me out, because he obviously wasn't there to buy a cup of coffee. I had to wonder whether he was following me. I told him I didn't have any snow shoveling for him, and that because I've had to take a pay cut at my job I couldn't afford to pay somebody to do it anyhow.

After that, my doorbell would ring every few evenings, usually after 8:00. I stopped answering the door. Nobody I know just drops over; they call first. One evening I was away until about 9:30, and the doorbell rang before I even had a chance to hang up my coat. I didn't go to the door. I got to wondering whether they were watching the house.

And then today I got home from work earlier than usual. It's still partial daylight, and the doorbell rings. I answer it, not expecting THEM, but there they were. I explained again that because of pay cuts at my work I couldn't hire anybody to take care of the snow. Then the woman asks if I could lend her some money. I said NO, I'm sorry, I can't help you.

So, am I being a Scrooge who should be helping some people down on their luck, or are these a couple of con artists who are trying to take advantage of me? I'm not wealthy: there's nothing about me or my house or my car that would suggest I am. It's just weird and creepy. I just hope they don't come back.

[nini]

1. You're not being a scrooge..

Who knows what they're real story is and I don't blame you for being creeped out.


You may want to call the police and see if there are any complaints in your area. At the very least they can keep an eye on your house for you.


Good Luck.

[MissB]

2. I'd vote for con artists.

Burglers trying to case your house. Or something like that.

Most reasonable people will take the first hint. Or the second. One should not have to get nasty with people to let them know you just don't have the money to help them.

You'll have to get nasty, I'm guessing.

[SlavesandBulldozers]

3. i would ask them to cut it out.

you're not being a scrooge, you're a captive in your own home.

Tell them you never want to see them again.

I had to answer my door carrying a paintball gun once so a similar situation would stop.

[crispini]

4. Wow, weird.

I would suggest that they probably ARE poor and they might ALSO be con artists too. Some people will find a "soft touch" and milk them for all they're worth.

I would have thought they would have gotten the message by now, though, but you may have to be even more explicit with them.

[RevCheesehead]

5. You are not obliged to help them.

But perhaps you could direct them to the local social services office, or Salvation Army... they have resources to help people in various situations. (I would NOT recommend sending them to churches, unless you know of one that has some program to help people... right now, churches are tapped out!!)

If they're really hurting, they'll be grateful for resources. And if they get angry, then you have a better idea of what's going on. Remind them of your pay cut, and DO NOT GIVE THEM ANY MORE MONEY.

[The Velveteen Ocelot]

6. Good advice -- thanks.

I'll look up some local social service agencies so if they show up again I can suggest they go there. It's just kind of unnerving to have somebody come to your door, basically begging. I just don't know whether to feel creeped out or guilty for not helping. Still, it's pretty insane to "lend" money to total strangers, expecially when you don't know what the real story is.

[GoddessOfGuinness]

7. Welcome to the Weirdo Magnet Club

I attract people like this all the time. You aren't being a scrooge. They're accustomed to milking a person's kindness for all that it's worth.

Just keep turning them down. Eventually they'll figure things out. They might not like you very much in the end; but trust me, that's most likely a good thing.