Actual email sent out by the UW-Stevens Point College Repukes

[TheMightyFavog]

Title
It's so sweet I want to crap my pants
Category: Entertainment
Event Date/Time:
Wednesday, 7:00 PM
Place:
111 UC
Web Address:
http://www.uwsp.edu/stuorg/reps
Message:
Come to the College Republican meeting this Wednesday at 7PM in room 111 UC!!!!!! There, you can meet TOTALLY AWESOME AND SWEET COLLEGE REPUBLICANS in their natural habitat. If you don’t already know, republicans are really cool. And by cool, I mean totally sweet.

Republican facts:
1. Republicans are politicians.
2. Republicans are totally sweet.
3. The purpose of a republican is to spread conservative ideas.

Republicans are sooooooooooo sweet that I want to crap my pants. I can't believe it sometimes, but I feel it inside my heart. These guys are totally awesome and that's a fact. Republicans are fast, smooth, cool, creative, powerful, smart, and sweet. I love republicans with my ENTIRE body.

Q and A:.

Q: Why is everyone so obsessed about Republicans?
A: Come to the college republican meeting right now and find out!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Q: I heard that Republicans don’t do anything but destroy the environment and take away people’s civil rights. What's their problem?
A: Whoever told you that is a total liar. Just like all politicians, some can be really dumb or totally sweet. But college republicans are all truly awesome. If you don’t even believe that republicans can be cool, then you better get a life right now before some republican gets SUPER PISSED and punches you right in the head!!!!!!

This is the coolest message of the day ever.


Sponsored by the College Republicans

If this is the future of the Republican Party in Wisconsin, I think we can count on Wisconsin staying blue for a very long time.

[KitchenWitch]

1. SWEEEEEEEEEEEEEET

:rofl:

[Initech]

2. Better make sure they have plenty of diapers at their meetings...

Yikes, the mere thought of that is disturbing enough...

[AllegroRondo]

6. Is that a "Code Brown"??

[mwooldri]

19. Or a Code "Michael D. Brown"?

Quick! Get FEMA in to scoop the poop!

[Initech]

21. .

:rofl: :rofl: :rofl: :rofl: :rofl: :rofl: :rofl:

[TheMightyFavog]

27. Well, College repukes do tend to be full of shit....

:evilgrin:

[Initech]

33. And in this case, literally!

Maybe they need some of those "Oops, I Crapped My Pants" diapers from SNL!

[TheMightyFavog]

3. I found this on the college Repuke's Facebook Group....

The guy who wrote this message of the day had this to say:

"Man, I realized after I posted that MOD that we'd get some backlash. I shouldn't have put that part in about republicans punching people in the head."


FYI, Facebook is a socail networking website for college students.

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Facebook_%28website%29

[jane_pippin]

4. Wow. These kids aren't english majors are they.

But whatever. I'm sure whatever they're majoring in is totally sweeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeet!!!! (And HUGH!1!!!11!!!!1)

[TheMightyFavog]

9. Actually, the guy who wrote it is a physics major.

End of line.

[jane_pippin]

17. That really kind of scares the shit out of me.

If I may be so frank.

[TheMightyFavog]

23. It scares me, too.

:scared:

[qnr]

36. On the positive side, it's nice to see Republicans interested in hard

sciences.

[Abelman]

5. Ripped off

For those not "in the know" this is a rip off of Real Ultimate Power. Just do a google search so you can learn all about ninjas.

[TheMightyFavog]

12. Yeah, I'd expect this.

The guy who wrote this is in the I love ninjas group on facebook.

[back2basics909]

18. I spotted thats as well..

http://www.realultimatepower.net/index4.htm

[redqueen]

29. Yup

Lousy plagiarizing noncreative repukes.

[Merrick]

37. That site spawned about a billion knock-offs

as Maddox's site did before it.

[DS1]

7. I think it's a ripoff of South Park, or some other cartoon

[roguevalley]

8. Get this into greatest. This is priceless. Punch someone? As if!

[SeattleRob]

10. Contact Operation Yellow Elephant!

A lot of potential recruits will be there.

[no name no slogan]

11. So Eric Cartman is writing their press releases now?

What happens at the meeting, a rousing rendition of "Russ Feingold is a Big Fat Bitch in D Minor"?

[LaraMN]

13. "totally awesome?" Are they also "mega rad?"

[BlueIris]

50. I know...what?

That e-mail looked like it had travelled here from 1989. Where it had been written by someone's little brother.

[Guy Fawkes]

14. DUUUUUUUDE! THIS IS HUGH!!!!!!111!!!!11 OMG LOL!

Nice e-mail, 'dudes'.

[DS1]

15. Pictures of Morans

[jane_pippin]

16. HA! Look at the cut out Georgie they have!

:rofl:

[Jeff In Milwaukee]

53. Sadly, that's really him...

nt

[TheMightyFavog]

22. I like to call 'em

UWSP Chickens for Col. Sanders

[Syncronaut Seven]

24. They appear to be very caucasian, and well fed too!!

Perhaps their housekeepers are minorities?

[ComerPerro]

49. Top picture, large group, center, back row. I know that guy!

WTF????

[texas1928]

20. And I bet they all went WEEEEEEEEEEE

when they hit send.

[EstimatedProphet]

25. Do they commit seppuku? Because this is where their post comes from

http://www.realultimatepower.net/index4.htm

Quotes:
Ninjas are sooooooooooo sweet that I want to crap my pants. I can't believe it sometimes, but I feel it inside my heart. These guys are totally awesome and that's a fact. Ninjas are fast, smooth, cool, strong, powerful, and sweet. I can't wait to start yoga next year. I love ninjas with all of my body (including my pee pee).

Q and A:.

Q: Why is everyone so obsessed about ninjas?

A: Ninjas are the ultimate paradox. On the one hand they don't give a crap, but on the other hand, ninjas are very careful and precise.

Q: I heard that ninjas are always cruel or mean. What's their problem?

A: Whoever told you that is a total liar. Just like other mammals, ninjas can be mean OR totally awesome.

Q: What do ninjas do when they're not cutting off heads or flipping out?

A: Most of their free time is spent flying, but sometime they stab. (Ask Mark if you don't believe me.)

Sounds like it was written by a Repub to me...

[TheMightyFavog]

26. They have No Honor.

End of Line.

[Blue_Tires]

52. i dont get it

is that site supposed to be some parody i don't get? or is he serious?

[Rabrrrrrr]

28. What is it with republicans and shitting their pants?

Is this the new Family-values-approved fetish?

What the fuck?!

[TheMightyFavog]

30. They're just emulating their hero, Ted Nugent.

Those chickenhawks are just prcticing for when the draft comes.

[TheMightyFavog]

31. See Wikipedia Article

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Ted_Nugent#Controversies

According to a July 15, 1990 interview for the Detroit Free Press, Nugent described how he avoided the draft during the Vietnam War: He claims that 30 days before his Draft Board Physical, he stopped all forms of personal hygiene. The last ten days he ingested nothing but junk food and Pepsi, and a week before his physical he stopped using the bathroom altogether, virtually living inside pants caked with excrement and stained by his urine. That spectacle won Nugent a deferment, he says. His quote: “ but if I would have gone over there, I’d have been killed, or I’d have killed, , or I’d have killed all the Hippies in the foxholes… I would have killed everybody.”

[TheMightyFavog]

32. kick for the night crowd, you gotta see this!

:kick:

[jmowreader]

34. Spreading conservative ideas, huh?

Someone should go to the meeting and inform the College Republicans that one of their vaunted "conservative ideas" is to eliminate the Pell Grant. (Even if it's not true. Just tell 'em that, m'kay?)

Look, this is how ya do it. You'll have to go to Wal-Mart for part of this, because you'll need something like an "Elect Republicans" hat or an "I (heart) GOP" tee-shirt, and Wal-Mart is the most likely place to find one. Put on this offensive garment and go to the Repuke party.

After eating and drinking about $50 worth of the CR's refreshments and waiting until the CRs are all good and stewed (you could even bring some refreshments of your own--a love offering of brownies. You don't even have to put the good shit in them, plain old Ditch Weed should work on these people...), drop the Pell Grant thing. Make sure to liberally spice your rant with "hey, I'm a Republican, would I lie to you?" and "I swear on George Bush's Bible that this is true" and other fun Repuke-sounding phrases. Tell 'em that "if they take away the Pell Grant, none of us will be able to afford to go to college and we'll all get drafted."

Then, when they're all freakin' about having to actually fight in the war they so fervently love, say your good-byes and get your ass out of there.

[TheMightyFavog]

39. I know a bit about their members.

Pell grants aren't an issue. Most of them either snagged scholarships, their parents are paying everything, or they are working to pay for college.

The others tend to be the fervent anti-choicers (lots of Polish Catholics in the area) and other assorted fundiefascists. These people are too concerned about "saving innocent babies" or "fighting the homosexual agenda" or "fighting the Natural Resources professors who shove evil-ution down our throats" to give a shit about the Republican assault on thier financial aid.

[TheMightyFavog]

44. I would go....

But Wednesday nights are gaming nights for me, and I'm running a Red Dwarf RPG Game that night.

Which reminds me, I have to write up tomorrow's session.

[baldguy]

35. Does it stike anyone as odd that "college Republicans" even exist?

Republicans 18-25 yrs old should be in the military, dying in Iraq.

[ashling]

38. This is really a joke, right?

If this is real I'll just crap in my pants.

[PowerToThePeople]

40. Republican's are a joke.

And, they smell like they crapped their pants.

[ashling]

42. very true

[TheMightyFavog]

43. No, this is real.

It's an actual email message that the College Repukes are using to get people to come to theier meetings.

[nickgutierrez]

41. You know what this reminds me of?

Perhaps a little too much?

Real Ultimate Power. The site about ninjas and how they flip out and chop off people's heads.

http://www.realultimatepower.net/index4.htm

Dammit, even their original stuff is unoriginal.

(EDIT - ah crap, EP beat me to it)

[Name removed]

45. Deleted sub-thread

Sub-thread removed by moderator. Click here to review the message board rules.

[Left_Winger]

46. What a surprise!

Where I live the repukes think they own the place so they are rather obnoxious.

[ProfessorGAC]

47. Stevens Point Needs Higher Standards Of Admission

The Professor

[ComerPerro]

48. Don't tell me that I'm the only one who finds this hilarious

and not just in the "look how dumb they are" category, but the "wow, that is funny, and I am laughing for reasons the authors intended" way.

Its a great parody, it is very funny, and remember that this is a college campus.

Students will get this, they will connect and identify with it, and it just might win the GOP some new converts.

Its very well written. A good ad.

All they have to do is write stuff like this to get people to arrive with a somewhat favorable opinion of them, and then pitch the usual GOP lies and talking points. Then they will have won over a new army of GOP Bushbots.



Don't get me wrong, I still loathe these people.

I regard most of them as rich kids, fratties, and overall cowards for not protecting our freedom in Iraq.

[bullwinkle428]

51. The whole thing seems so "Dude, where's my car?"!! (n/t)