How did you feel a year ago at this moment?

[Left Is Write]

I was anxious, excited, nervous, hopeful...really a bundles of nerves but full of optimism too.

Fuck.

[KitchenWitch]

1. Me too

And I have not felt that way since.

:cry:

[Deep13]

2. Busy

By election day, I felt it was out of the campaign's hands. The size of our local effort made me optimistic.

[ThatsMyBarack]

3. The day after....

....I felt (and skated) like crap. :(

Banning gay marriage---what a flippin' waste!! :eyes:

[Deep13]

4. Got the Fundies out. That really tanked us.

The next day, I was numb and had no idea what to think about let alone what to do. I remember hearing of soldiers returning home after a protracted war who wondered how they would live without war. That's pretty much how I felt.

[LynzM]

5. Anxious, optimistic, obsessive....

Watching DU like crazy, fingers crossed, hoping that people were finally seeing the light...

[ThatsMyBarack]

6. Gotta kick it up....

....to find out what others are saying!

[RevCheesehead]

7. O God, has it been a year already?

:cry:

I kept thinking, "surely, they'll expose the fraud."

[LeftyMom]

8. Hopefull, out of the loop and very busy

I was a poll worker so I didn't have any idea how the election was going, but I honestly believed when the polls closed in California and we finished our jobs and went home I just might catch President-elect Kerry's acceptance.

[redqueen]

9. Same here.

I'd bought ballons and champagne.

It was a very sad night.

[StopTheMorans]

10. very drunk in anticipation of either jubilant celebration or crushing

depression. ahhh, alcohol, you haven't failed me yet!

[TallahasseeGrannie]

11. Confused

[tallahasseedem]

12. I had just put my kids to bed....

and was cleaning like a mad woman, even though everything was clean. Never watched the tv once that night, just periodically checked numbers on the computer. I was really nervous and was sensing some sort of impending doom like the fix was already in. I will never forget that night as long as I live.

[BlueIris]

13. I was actually taking a nap. I woke up at 6:30ish, in time to see

the shit in Florida start to go down.

[elshiva]

14. I was so scared I could not even leave the house.

I just laid in bed all day either sedated or crying endlessly. Thank God I am better now, but tonight was hard...

[Oeditpus Rex]

15. Horribly fucking depressed

Because some fuckloaf smashed his truck into mine as I was turning into my polling site. :cry:

[undeterred]

16. At this moment there was someone knocking on my door

reminding me to vote, with less than half an hour till the polls closed. I had voted two weeks early. At 9pm I got a call inviting me to join the other volunteers for a Kerry victory celebration. But I decided to stay in and watch television, as I had a bad feeling... :dilemma:

[XemaSab]

17. Nervous

I wasn't feeling either optimistic or pessimistic...

I wasn't allowing myself to feel either emotion.

[bigwillq]

18. Many of those same feelings

for me as well.

I was so hopeful, starting from the convention on...
That hope gave me a reason to keep fighting. Then of course, things didn't go our way, and I almost gave up on the fight.
However, the last couple of months, especially this last month, some of those old feelings are starting to come back. I'm hopeful once again. I believe we need to fight now more than ever.

edit: spelling

[deadparrot]

19. Sick.

I don't remember what time it changed from good sick to bad sick, but I was sick to my stomach with nerves all day.

[Crazy Guggenheim]

20. Starting to get concerned.

[mtowngman]

21. optimistic, hopeful...

still thinking the majority of Americans were concerned with something other than how many worms Tiffany ate on fear factor last week.

[Broken_Hero]

22. same here....

but arond midnight, i knew Kerry was toast.....unless something drastic happened....like Carville said that night "kerry needs to pull the card for the inside straight", or something liek that....

[The Flaming Red Head]

23. I wrote this on 11-02-02 and just found it clicked on that date in my docs

His Guitar (written on the spur of the moment with a buzz/ Not my usual)

My friend died in LA
with his head on an imaginary guitar
With out any money
Sleeping in his broken down car
He went there to be a rock star, a movie star
A super hero
Instead he died there without his guitar
He pawned it for food and beer and crack

Evicted from his apartment
He closed his door forever

There was a time when he was younger
That he would have starved and gone without beer, weed or crack
Because his guitar was important to his music

He pitched his songs to the secretaries
of producers all over Nashville
And they said NO and closed their doors forever
And I guess he could have died in Nashville
Instead he went to California

Raised on dreams and too damn close Cleveland
With a DJ father who idolized Elvis
He was sure he was going to be a rock star
He went to California
Fucked up, got in fights, got drunk, and got old real quick (33)

And one day he closed the door forever
Inside his broken car
Drunk and disillusioned
With his head
On his imaginary guitar
His songs died with him
Every one of them a gold record

He died in LA
Cliché after cliché after cliché
Small town kid didn’t make it
Crashes and burns
Went home in ashes

Death is the big payoff
And Death itself is a Cliché
But if I say it different
it doesn’t make
Sense.

Written by Mel with a buzz (shrug)

I wrote this on the same date and haven't looked either since then

do it, do it, do it

Climb to the top of the tallest building in your city
Make sure you bring a cell phone
Then call every news station in the area
All of your friends, family
And even enemies (someone to eat popcorn and provide commentary)
Then make ridiculous demands
Spout every conspiracy theory, outrageous observation,
And sick thought you've ever had
Wear a white tutu
And dress like a go-go dancer in thigh boots
Do a strip tease first
singing some sick old Broadway melody
Do the soft shoe, do pirouettes
Request balloons clowns and bring some bubbles
Pretend that you are Laurence Welk
Then when everyone is sick of you
And people are demanding that you do what you came to do
Mainly
JUMP
Hop down
on the good side
And
Tell them all you were kidding.
At this point some overwrought policeman
Or rescue worker will tackle you
Become a hero
And appear on Good Morning America
Call me when they let you have phone calls at the institution
And tell me how it was.

[UrbScotty]

24. As of 9:40

Bush led the electoral vote by roughly 175 to 115 or so. I felt optimistic, knowing that all but a couple solid Bush states had come in. Polls were still open in California.

I knew there was trouble at about 11:30, when they called Florida for Duh-bya.

[peekaloo]

25. at this time I was feeling sick to my stomach.

[Deja Q]

26. Everything but 'fuck', sorry.

I feel more of those things these days... well, except 'optimism' and 'fuck' of course... :rofl:

[Left Is Write]

30. Well...

The "fuck" was really just a visceral expression of the frustration and anger I felt at the outcome of the election.

[crispini]

27. 9:00 CST

A friend and I were at a local Dem party. The polls were closed and they were counting the votes. She didn't think Kerry was going to win; I was still hopeful.

But we got our Democratic sheriff and that made us very, VERY happy. Local politics has proved to be a GREAT consolation.

[sundog]

28. oh god please don't remind me

[SharonRB]

29. I think I was beginning to feel like shit, but I was still a bit hopeful

that it would all turn out okay. I was in bed with the TV on, sleeping in fits and starts, listening to the pundits expound on the returns, saying it was still too close to call. I really fell apart the next day when I knew it was over...but was it really? I found DU a few days later and it's been a lifesaver. Depression really set in and here I am, 30 pounds heavier because I can't stop eating and stopped working out like I used to.

[RoyGBiv]

31. Horrified and concerned ...

And yes I realize this was posted earlier, before it all seemed to fall apart.

I woke up in a wonderful mood, dawned a black hoodie, cranked up special CD I'd made for the day, and drove to the polling place.

Overnight -- that is between the time I'd arrived home from work about 6pm and left the next morning at about 7am -- hundreds of Coburn for Senate signs had popped up all along the path to the school where I cast my vote. After leaving, I saw they were everywhere, and I mean everywhere. You could not drive a block without seeing dozens of them. The day before, during the entire trip home from work, I saw maybe half a dozen.

Also, when I voted, I got there immediately after it opened. I was in a line when those doors opened. Maybe a couple dozen people had gone through by the time I got my ballot. The vote counter on the machine where I inserted my scan card counted my vote as somewhere around 150. I reported this irregularity, but I never heard anything else about it.

That set the mood. I was not optimistic the rest of the day, and it just got worse. I knew the trolls had been hard at work throughout the night and that mischief was in the air.

[liberaltrucker]

32. Don't remember

I was shit-faced in a bar in Rock Springs, WY. Felt like shit 11/3/04 morning, but not from a hangoverx(

[DanCa]

33. I fell in a two month depression

My hero Christopher Reeve passed away earlier, and Bruce, no one listened to the Boss. I really was messed up emotionally thank god for Dr Misrac and psych meds.

[yellowdogintexas]

34. I was just getting home from my mother's funeral,

and had been in flight for a couple of hours, etc.

So I was blissfully ignorant

[Crazy Guggenheim]

35. At about this time - 9:26 PM - I was getting very scared.

[WCGreen]

36. I was pretty pumped.... I thought we were gonna win for sure...

Oh well, I thought Carter was gonna win reelection.....

[Aristus]

37. Deeply worried and exhilarated at the same time.

I thought for sure people had had enough of B*sh and his lies. And now they are, but it's too late......

[Awsi Dooger]

38. I was just turning the computer and TV back on

At 9:30 Pacific time. I had turned them off and understood Bush was the inevital victor four hours earlier, when I got back from GOTV and took a look at the silly early exit polls. They listed nonsense like Kerry ahead 18 in New Hampshire and up 10 in Pennsylvania and down only 3 in North Carolina. The tiny Kerry early exit poll "leads" in Ohio and Florida, just one or two points, convinced me they would likely err in the same direction and margin as all the others, and therefore would never hold up for a Kerry victory.

At about this time, after four energy less hours lying in stunned and silent disbelief on my bed, I turned everything back on and the horrors were confirmed. Bush was ahead comfortably in Florida and a couple points in Ohio. I did some brief checking on the Ohio specifics, whether enough big cities had yet to report. That was inconclusive so I started to check the exit poll data and was stunned at the 37-37 party identification number. A Democrat can't win with a figure like that. If we can reestablish a 2-4 point bulge in that number then 2006 and 2008 look promising. I'm still waiting for PEW to update its findings in that regard.

[Starlight]

39. It was an awful, awful night.

:cry: :cry: :cry: :cry: :cry: :cry: :cry: :cry: :cry: :cry:

[Crazy Guggenheim]

40. This is like "post tramatic stress" right now.

[DainBramaged]

41. Hopeful that it was a bad dream

[Parrcrow]

42. exhausted

I was moderating on DU that day and night.

[Crazy Guggenheim]

43. One year ago now? Very pissed off!!

[Aimah]

61. I think I avoided news TV for about 2 weeks....

in mourning after the election.

[ernstbass]

44. Gidy and excited

KOS was reporting on the amazing exit polls. As the evening wore on and I kept doing the math, my mood turned to shock and dismay and nausea.

[eyesroll]

45. Exhausted, mentally and physically, but unable to process much.

We moved from our house into separate apartments the day after the election -- I'd already arranged to have that day off, and really didn't want to take yet another vacation day to move.

I'd gotten maybe four hours of sleep the night before, after wine, a good meal, a big argument and lots of packing.

I was barking orders at the moving guys when I got the "Kerry conceded" text message.

I didn't really have the energy to process any of it, or remember much of it.

[Rabrrrrrr]

46. Like shit, and with no optimism

[schmuls]

47. Depressed, suicidal, listness, hopeless...you get the picture

[NYdemocrat089]

48. I was was very concerned. I didn't find out until 2pm the next day we lost

I stayed up on election night. I was so excited that I bought a fake bottle of champagne (sparkling grape juice). I went to bed at 11ish and no one was sure who had won yet. Bush wasn't ahead enough and Kerry could still have won. I woke up and Bush still didn't have the needed votes but it was pretty certain we lost. At 2pm in Biology someone brought up that Kerry had conceded the election. I was depressed for about a week.

I had been so sure we'd win...

[Devra]

49. I was incredibly depressed

I actually wrote this email to my former teacher

Today depresses me. Bush was reelected. It doesn't help that he was legitimately elected this time as opposed to last,(there wasn't any evidence of voter fraud that I knew of) because this time there was more at steak than just the presidency, The supreme court hangs in the balance as well.

There are four supreme court justices that are expected to retire with in the next four years. We both know what kind of people Bush is likely to appoint. He himself said that his favorite justices were Thomas and Scalia. If Rehnquist retires bush will probably make Scalia the chief justice. Whats worse is that practically anyone he appoints is likely to be approved by congress because the republicans have the majority in both houses. And if the Democrats try to reject any of his appointments they criticized for being partisan by the so called liberal media.

The supreme court will be dominated by conservatives. Roe V Wade, affirmative action, and almost any other land mark decision since the 60's will be at risk. And these changes are more permanent than the precedent or congress. A new appointment can change the makeup or the supreme court twenty to thirty years or more. As the legal system of this country hurdles itself back in time. Our society will change with it. There is no way it could do otherwise. A country's laws are representative of the country's beliefs, and mores. Unless there is rebellion or civil war of some sort our society will change with our laws.As long as the supreme court is the highest court in the land, and is respected by the people, their ruling will be accepted and ultimately adopted.

Whats worse is that now that all three branches of government are all controlled by the same group they will prop each other up. If there is a conservative precedent. He will appoint conservative judges. If there is another close election the Conservative judges might pick the conservative candidate. If liberals in congress (who would most likely be democrats) can not object to what the president is doing, with out being called partisan, it will be nearly impossible to get a democratic candidate from congress. It's kind of like what happened to Kerry. They will not be able to garner enough support with out complying with the president and yet they will be expected to point out the flaws in the same man that he would be forced to pretend that he agreed with (on at least a few issues) to begin with. This will make almost impossible to get a democrat in the white house.

The democratic party will be weakened. If this political environment continues for too long it can ultimately kill the Democratic party, and we will be left with a one party system. we will still have third parties but it isn't likely any of them will be strong enough to replace the democratic party, because nobody cares about politics any more.

The more I think about it the worse it seems. I realize that I must sound paranoid. To tell you the truth I hope I am paranoid other wise it could all come true. And the fact that any of this can happen frightens me to no end.

here's hoping I'm wrong

[geniph]

50. Sui-fucking-cidal.

don't remind me.

[Dastard Stepchild]

51. Exhausted.

I feel that way today, too.

&%@(#&% master's degree.

:)

edit: oh dear Lord.. this is how out of touch I am with the world. It was the election of the prez a year ago. :eyes:
...step away from the books.... put down the article...

[July]

52. Same. I second that Fuck. nt

[LaurenG]

53. I actually had a party going with a cake and drink

A victory party. :(

[lizziegrace]

54. Forgot it's the 3rd already

I wanted to die...

On the 2nd, I was a pollworker and knew when I got home that the precinct I worked went for Kerry. Then I was VERY optimistic.

[SeattleGirl]

55. Depressed, sad, angry, hopeless.....

And basically, I felt that way before I went to bed on 11/2/04. I was feeling hopeful for much of the 2nd, but then, late in the evening when the Ohio numbers changed, my heart sank, and I said, out loud, "Oh God, they did it again!"

[RFKHumphreyObama]

56. I was trying to convince myself not to be optimistic

I thought the probability was that * would win -not because he was the better candidate but because I knew how slimy and deceptive the Republican campaign would be (and I wasn't mistaken) and how they would try to smear and degrade an honorable man like Kerry. I also thought it likely Rove and co would stage a rerun of Florida 2000 and that electoral techniques used in the various ballots would remain pretty dubious. So from a few weeks beforehand, I'd starting trying to talk down the prospect of a Kerry victory to myself -telling myself not to get optimistic because I'd only be disappointed on election night. All my friends in my country (and let me tell you everyone I knew in my country were hoping for a Kerry victory) were also pessimistic about Kerry's chances and thought that the odds were that * would win

But on election night (actually Wednesday morning here), I suddenly got carried away with the enthusiasm and the momentum both on this site and some local news sites. I saw the exit polls coming in and I suddenly became convinced that it could be Kerry's day and that we might see an end to four years of prejudiced, ideological, inept and corrupt government in the White House.

As the day progressed, I became less and less optimistic but still held out hope. Even by the time that I went to bed at night, Kerry had yet to concede defeat and I was still hoping against hope that he could ensure the impossible

Alas it was not to be. And the next few days I was plunged into a depression so deep and so all encompassing that it just took me into a black hole which it took me quite a long time to get out of. One year on, when I see the mess that * has made and see his falling ratings in the polls, I always wish that the American voters had felt like they do about * now one year ago

[Orsino]

57. Pretty confident that * would be certified the loser.

Didn't happen that way.

[Nicholas D Wolfwood]

58. Happier than I'd ever been in my life...

my what a difference a year can make...

[Crazy Guggenheim]

59. One year ago tonight I was in shock. I could not believe it. It took

me a couple of months before everything settled back in.

[Lindsey]

60. I had taken off of work for the afternoon and also the next day...

my best friend and I wanted to get out of L.A. so we drove out to Palm Springs. I started to get worried when I didn't hear from my sister who I was sure would be calling me while we were in traffic (on my cell) if things were going well. We tried to avoid all media. We went out to eat and just walked around the area. Unfortunately, when we got to the hotel, he insisted on going down to the bar to bring back a glass of wine. That's where he heard it was pretty much over. He came bolting into the room almost hysterical. I was just looking at my emails from a year ago (I save some of them) and there's one from a lawyer in Canada that I had contacted less than one week after the sElection...but obviously, I'm still here.