I've seen his comedy central show about a million times now, and I crack up every time!
"I live in a place called Tarzana. Heh. That's what they call it. Tarzana. They stick a "A" at the end, they think no one is going to figure it out. It's Tarzan. I live in a tree house! My next door neighbor's the Keebler elf. Oh I hate that little prick. Keeps me up night making cookies in his tree. That's no way to run a business. There's zoning laws you fucking shrimp."
"Canada should just attack another country. Man, no one would see that coming. Greatest coup in military history. Lay low for 275 years. Then attack...Turkey! Just show up, "Guess what, we're takin it. And we're calling it Chicken, you assholes!"