Late night political humor

[superconnected]

"Off the coast of North Carolina , Hurricane Ophelia continues to lurk. That is what I was worried about after Katrina, copycat hurricanes. Hopefully Ophelia will peter out and drizzle away. Just to be safe though, the President went on a two-week vacation." --Jimmy Kimmel


"Tomorrow night, in a speech to the nation, the president will do what he does best: Explain what went wrong." --Jay Leno


"The rebuilding of New Orleans is already underway. The relief and reconstruction contracts for rebuilding the city have already been awarded, many of them no bid. Among the recipients, major Republican contributors Bechtel and Fluor, the Shaw Group, client of Joe Allbaugh, ex-FEMA head, and, of course, come on, don't be shy, say it with me -- Halliburton." --Jon Stewart


"Did you know Michael Brown is a lawyer? He's a lawyer. Leave it to Bush to find the only lawyer in history who's slow getting to a disaster. Usually, they're the first ones there handing out business cards." --Jay Leno


"Seriously, Mr. President, this job can't be fun for you anymore. There's no more money to spend; you used up all of that. You can't start another war because you also used up the army. And now, darn the luck, the rest of your term has become the Bush family nightmare: helping poor people." --Bill Maher, from his "New Rules" segment on HBO's "Real Time With Bill Maher" (Read the transcript or watch the video)


"You've performed so poor, I'm surprised you haven't given yourself a medal. You're a catastrophe that walks like a man. Herbert Hoover was a !$%*ty president, but even he never conceded an entire metropolis to rising water and snakes. On your watch, we've lost almost all of our allies, the surplus, four airliners, two trade centers, a piece of the Pentagon, and the city of New Orleans . Maybe you're just not lucky. I'm not saying you don't love this country, I'm just wondering how much worse it could be if you were on the other side. So yes, God does speak to you, and what he's saying is, 'Take a hint.'" --Bill Maher