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WCGreen Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Mon Aug-22-05 12:53 AM
Original message
When a person you are trying to pick up asks you what do you do.....
What do you say....

Over the years I have replied...

Why I write those letters for Penthouse, you know the one's that start out I never thought I'd be writing to you.....

Those are all mine.....


Or then I have replied, I am deep undercover, would you like to join me.....

Or, What would you like me to do......
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Droopy Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Mon Aug-22-05 12:57 AM
Response to Original message
1. I don't try to pick up anybody
But if I did and they asked me that I'd just be honest. I'm a truck driver. And no I don't make a lot of money, but my charm and good looks should count for something, right?
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BikeWriter Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Mon Aug-22-05 01:09 AM
Response to Reply #1
19. I have told women I was independently wealthy...
and working my ass off as a hobby. Mostly I told the truth.
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Richardo Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Mon Aug-22-05 10:36 AM
Response to Reply #19
50. That's hilarious, BikeWriter
:rofl:
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BikeWriter Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Mon Aug-22-05 06:56 PM
Response to Reply #50
59. Thank you, Pard. I enjoy making people laugh.
Edited on Mon Aug-22-05 06:58 PM by BikeWriter
It works with the women, too. :)
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tigereye Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Mon Aug-22-05 05:19 PM
Response to Reply #1
55. you are a sweet and honest person, D
that is very cool

:thumbsup:
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CaliforniaPeggy Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Mon Aug-22-05 12:59 AM
Response to Original message
2. These are all very smart-ass answers, my dear WC!
And quite appropriate as well, IMHO....

Did you REALLY? omigod....

:rofl:
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WCGreen Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Mon Aug-22-05 01:00 AM
Response to Reply #2
3. Oh yes, I was quite the stud in the old days.....
right.......
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KitchenWitch Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Mon Aug-22-05 01:02 AM
Response to Original message
4. "I hit on people for a living"
:evilgrin:
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Mayberry Machiavelli Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Mon Aug-22-05 01:03 AM
Response to Original message
5. How's that working out for you?
:shrug:
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WCGreen Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Mon Aug-22-05 01:06 AM
Response to Reply #5
14. Worked okay actually
About 50% of the time......

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expatriot Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Mon Aug-22-05 01:03 AM
Response to Original message
6. "What do I do? Oh, it's not what you do today that matters,
it's what you do tomorrow that matters. I know what I'm going to do tomorrow and the next day and the next year and the year after that. I'm shaking the dust of this crummy little town off my feet and I'm going to see the world. Italy, Greece, the Parthenon, the Colosseum. Then I'm coming back here and go to college and see what they know . . . and then I'm going to build things. I'm gonna build air fields. I'm gonna build skyscrapers a hundred stories high. I'm gonna build bridges a mile long."
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WCGreen Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Mon Aug-22-05 01:05 AM
Response to Reply #6
8. But then you should say.....
But I'm free tonight.....

(Good answer BTW, sounds like a speech from the howard hughes movie)
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expatriot Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Mon Aug-22-05 01:11 AM
Response to Reply #8
21. "But, George, they'll vote with Potter otherwise."
Guess again.
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WCGreen Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Mon Aug-22-05 01:16 AM
Response to Reply #21
23. I should have realized that..........
Wasn't thinking about that... not christmas and all.....
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hfojvt Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Mon Aug-22-05 01:33 AM
Response to Reply #6
27. I want the moon
Do you have your lasso handy?

I hate that they make that a "Christmas movie". The movie's not "It's a wonderful Christmas".
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LastKnight Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Mon Aug-22-05 01:04 AM
Response to Original message
7. as little as possible
Edited on Mon Aug-22-05 01:06 AM by LastKnight
cause life is about livin, not workin.

thats what i say, honestly. but im a college student, and anyone im interested in is the same, so that question has never come up.
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WCGreen Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Mon Aug-22-05 01:05 AM
Response to Reply #7
10. Cool answer....
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hfojvt Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Mon Aug-22-05 01:43 AM
Response to Reply #7
30. too many of my co-workers feel that way
Even as a college student I worked. I mean that I studied, not that I worked my way through college. Okay I played alot of 500, Risk, and watched alot of TV too, but when I wasn't studying, I was worrying about the next test.
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LastKnight Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Mon Aug-22-05 02:02 AM
Response to Reply #30
36. dont get me wrong,
i do my studying, but when im done, im done. i dont do that overpreperation stuff. get what i need to understand it, and then chill. theres something to be said about a little relaxation.

this coming from a kid who did homework on friday nights and all day saturday every week last year. only reason i stopped at saturday was i usuially ran out of it... youre options for passing time are limited for the party days when you dont drink...
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enigmatic Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Mon Aug-22-05 01:05 AM
Response to Original message
9. I always said I'm a starving artist
Because I mostly was; when I owned my restaurant I just said I was a starving Restaurateur..
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WCGreen Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Mon Aug-22-05 01:06 AM
Response to Reply #9
12. Did it work.....
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enigmatic Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Mon Aug-22-05 01:08 AM
Response to Reply #12
16. 50/50
depending on whether I belived my own BS at the time:)
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WCGreen Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Mon Aug-22-05 01:09 AM
Response to Reply #16
18. Really that has a lot to do with it......
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tigereye Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Mon Aug-22-05 05:21 PM
Response to Reply #9
56. great
:rofl:
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Crazy Guggenheim Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Mon Aug-22-05 01:05 AM
Response to Original message
11. I say I'm God. Otherwise known as an IT Consultant .........
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WCGreen Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Mon Aug-22-05 01:08 AM
Response to Reply #11
17. That's ah, real good..... bet it works all the time......
I'd say hey I'm crazy, wanna guggen my heim
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Crazy Guggenheim Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Mon Aug-22-05 01:11 AM
Response to Reply #17
20. HA! Sometimes, with a very straight face I ask them why they
didn't bow?

:popcorn:
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WCGreen Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Mon Aug-22-05 01:15 AM
Response to Reply #20
22. That's the topper......
You slay me...
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expatriot Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Mon Aug-22-05 01:06 AM
Response to Original message
13. "I harvest organs from otherwise living people. " nt
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WCGreen Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Mon Aug-22-05 01:07 AM
Response to Reply #13
15. That's what I'm talking about people
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expatriot Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Mon Aug-22-05 01:17 AM
Response to Reply #15
24. Do? What do I do? **lightheartedly**How about I do you?**friendly smile**
Edited on Mon Aug-22-05 01:28 AM by expatriot
Is that better?
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CaliforniaPeggy Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Mon Aug-22-05 01:21 AM
Response to Reply #24
25. Over the line? well...*um* er uh...
HELL YES, IT WAS OVER THE LINE!

good grief....

:wtf:
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WCGreen Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Mon Aug-22-05 01:24 AM
Response to Reply #24
26. Just slightly....
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CaliforniaPeggy Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Mon Aug-22-05 01:51 AM
Response to Reply #24
32. Much better....much less over the line......
Thanks!
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SarahB Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Mon Aug-22-05 01:35 AM
Response to Original message
28. Honesty usually works best.
Then again, I'm so normal, I'm weird (around here anyway). :crazy:
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expatriot Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Mon Aug-22-05 01:40 AM
Response to Reply #28
29. "Right now, I am a telemarketer but I am in between professions.....
....hey, why are you walking away? You forgot your drink!"

No, sorry... honesty wouldn't work for me right now if I were on the prowl.

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SarahB Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Mon Aug-22-05 01:48 AM
Response to Reply #29
31. Not every woman is shallow.
Not every attractive woman is shallow. I'd rather be with an honest man with a lousy job than a man with an ok job who lied about it to make himself appear more impressive. Then again, if you're just looking to get laid and you don't care about her character either, go for it. :shrug:
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WCGreen Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Mon Aug-22-05 01:58 AM
Response to Reply #31
34. Good point....
But usually they realized I was kidding....

I mean honestly, who would write letters for Penthouse.....

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expatriot Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Mon Aug-22-05 02:40 AM
Response to Reply #31
38. if you lie about your profession you aren't looking for anything else
other than getting laid, right? I mean I am sure there are exceptions but how long could you pull off a relationship lying about what you do. People can be so gullible, non-analytical, etc. that I am sure people have pulled off the charade and years but you'd have to be pretty hollow inside. And, for the record, I've never lied about my current employment in order to get laid. As for my current employment, my wife knows full well where I work.
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SarahB Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Mon Aug-22-05 02:43 AM
Response to Reply #38
39. Very cool!
Glad she knows. :thumbsup:

I'm sort of touchy on the honesty thing I guess. I just find it to be really important. :)
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WCGreen Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Mon Aug-22-05 02:45 AM
Response to Reply #39
40. Come on SB, do you really think someone would believe
I wrote letters for Penthouse....
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SarahB Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Mon Aug-22-05 02:47 AM
Response to Reply #40
41. Hey, there are some amazing writers in our midst.
One never knows. :D
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WCGreen Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Mon Aug-22-05 02:59 AM
Response to Reply #41
42. Well, it worked for me but before we got home she knew
I was an inventory clerk in a major midwestern university.....
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hickman1937 Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Mon Aug-22-05 01:53 AM
Response to Original message
33. I tell them the truth. I'm an hourly Ford worker.
A shop rat. It only backfires if they meet my family and find out that I'm the black sheep.
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CaliforniaPeggy Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Mon Aug-22-05 01:58 AM
Response to Original message
35. Check your PM...
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the_spectator Donating Member (932 posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Mon Aug-22-05 02:05 AM
Response to Original message
37. Architect
Edited on Mon Aug-22-05 02:06 AM by the_spectator
or "importer-exporter."

Those are cool.

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In_The_Wind Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Mon Aug-22-05 06:43 AM
Response to Original message
43. I tell them the truth.
Fiction is lovely to read ...

or share together ...

if you both like reading the same type of fantasy ...


But anything less than total honesty ...

is insulting!



BTW ... I LOVED reading your letters to Penthouse

*giggling ~ as I skip off to the kitchen to fix my coffee*
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WCGreen Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Mon Aug-22-05 09:09 AM
Response to Reply #43
45. You're the one.....
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In_The_Wind Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Mon Aug-22-05 09:39 AM
Response to Reply #45
46. ~ thank you ...
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Lilith Velkor Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Mon Aug-22-05 10:53 AM
Response to Reply #43
52. I write fantasy
That's the truth, even though I don't make a living at it. (Those letters to Hustler are me.)
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In_The_Wind Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Mon Aug-22-05 04:24 PM
Response to Reply #52
53. Writing 'fantasy' must be very exciting!
I would be interested in reading some of it.

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datasuspect Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Mon Aug-22-05 07:04 AM
Response to Original message
44. i've been a disbarred attorney
defrocked priest

"applications developer"

renegade accountant

photojournalist freshly back from tibet (works best in granola-people venues)
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tigereye Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Mon Aug-22-05 05:23 PM
Response to Reply #44
57. renegade accountant
ha ha
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Patiod Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Mon Aug-22-05 10:07 AM
Response to Original message
47. I had a short guy ask me if I were a basketball player
(he had alerted his friends that he was going to mess with the Tall Girl, which made it worse)

"So, are you a basketball player?"
"No, why, are you a jockey?"

His friends tortured him mercilessly all night.

You so don't mess with the Tall Girl about her height. Like Cyrano, I've heard all the comments, and I've got a comeback for all of them.

Had two South Philly greasers comment, walking by me at the Amazon Club, that I must be one of the Amazons. "Yeah, and I'm guessing you two are pygmies".

Note: My policy is to never bust on short men unless they start on me first.

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no name no slogan Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Mon Aug-22-05 10:15 AM
Response to Original message
48. I just say, "why do you hate America?"
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tjdee Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Mon Aug-22-05 10:34 AM
Response to Original message
49. I'd rather know who someone IS, not what they do. Who cares what they do?
I find that question mildly offensive (but I expect it), depending on when it comes in the conversation. If the most interesting thing to talk with me about is my job, I'm not that interesting, am I.

What someone *does* for their work is not the same as who they *are*. The "What do you do" thing is kind of a fakeout--just because someone's a lawyer, doesn't mean he's all John Grishamy or in any way worth knowing. Using a job as social currency, I'm not particularly into.

Though, I'm getting older and I have a kid, so I guess I kind of do care what they do. I mean, I'm not looking to hook up with a crank dealer or some guy living on the street (while he's living on the street).
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seemunkee Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Mon Aug-22-05 10:50 AM
Response to Original message
51. "About what?"
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skygazer Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Mon Aug-22-05 04:50 PM
Response to Original message
54. And how have those answers worked out for you?
Not good, I'd imagine. :)
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WCGreen Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Mon Aug-22-05 06:45 PM
Response to Reply #54
58. Actually, all of those lines were spur of the moment
comebacks to steer the night away from so what do you do....

What do you do....

Kind of crap....

And yes, they were successful when I let them fly....

I am charming when I want to be....

I know they could sound snarky to some, but with my winning smile and my total look of buffoonery at the moment of delivery, no one in their right mind would take those lines seriously.....

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khashka Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Mon Aug-22-05 07:07 PM
Response to Original message
60. I usually answer
"Whatever I can get away with without getting arrested...."

or

"I'd rather show you than tell you"

or

"I'm a secret agent lover man"


Khash.
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Joe Chi Minh Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Mon Aug-22-05 07:13 PM
Response to Original message
61. A bloke I knew in the army didn't
Edited on Mon Aug-22-05 07:17 PM by KCabotDullesMarxIII
comment on any kind of ocupation, but told girls his name was Marmaduke Fishkins Wixall and that he lived in a disused railway carriage; the intention being to play on their maternal instincts.

Of course, after twenty-five years of far-right misgovernment, such accommodation would be highly coveted by all too many of us, and indeed probably viewed as something of a "bijou residence".

He was recruited by the SAS, and I suspect would have slightly more appeal on that basis - though, for a variety of reasons their marriages tend to be fraught and short-lived.
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TomInTib Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Mon Aug-22-05 07:45 PM
Response to Original message
62. I'm a sales rep - sex toys and bibles, mostly...
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kodi Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Mon Aug-22-05 07:56 PM
Response to Original message
63. i have said "What I do does not define who I am"
it worked.
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