I might have a problem

[Nikia]

I apologize if I sound divided on this, but I am. Note Mods: I am medically stable at this time and not in danger of having severe medical problems in the very near future.
As I have mentioned in other posts, I have had digestive problems and have lost a lot of weight. I have been diagnosed with irritable bowel syndrome, but my doctor thinks that I am shouldn't be continuing to lose weight. I have also been seeing a therapist to help me with my anxiety problems. Anyway, my therapist reveals to me that she and my doctor have been talking and very concerned about me because they believe that I have anorexia.
In a way, I believe that they are full of shit, but I suppose that maybe they aren't totally off base either. I am heavier though than many of the "hot" women in this world and probably most models. I don't eat less than my overweight coworkers who are on diets. I still menstrate. I am just not hungry and feel sick often after I eat. On the otherhand, maybe I don't want to gain weight either and maybe I am not eating as much as I could. Maybe, I do feel that my life sucks and is out of control. Maybe, I feel that everything that I thought that was good about me is not valued, but being thin and continung to have an above average chest is.
In a way, I know that I need to eat more and gain 10 pounds or so.
I see my therapist next week again but I couldn't get an appointment with my doctor for another 2 weeks.
Has anyone here had an eating disorder or known anyone who has? Is it usually this complicated? Shouldn't it be as easy as just eating when I can?

[nothingshocksmeanymore]

1. Go see a gynecologist

Sometimes abdominal bloating and other symptoms especially considering the inexplicable weight loss are related to gyn problems

(I am relatively certain you're female..right?)

on eidt: checked your profile..I got it right

[Nikia]

4. I'll ask my doctor about that

When I see her again. I did have a gyno exam that did come out normal, but I suppose that there could be other things that are not so easily detectable.

[LynzM]

2. Hugs to you....

:hug: I haven't personally dealt with it, but have several friends who have (and are, because it's an ongoing thing, like any other addiction). Yes, it definitely can be that complicated, and can have several causes, triggers, feelings, etc. Keep talking to your therapist, and I agree, see a gyn. just to rule anything out in that department, if you haven't. Overall though, from the questions you posed, I'd say there is something going on there that you need to work toward figuring out :hug:

[Nikia]

5. Thanks for being supportive

I appreciate your support. I am sure that your friends appreciate your support too.

[neweurope]

3. Hi Nikia - I'm sorry for you. Yes, I do think that you have a problem,

and when two of your doctors think you have anorexia then you should really listen to them. I have no eating disorder (as everybody who sees me will readily concede *g*) but I have been in a clinic for three months which happens to specialize in anorexia. Some of what I saw there actually frightened me. As was explained to me then anorexia is a very serious thing, and, yes, it's always this complicated. In fact I was told that it's worse than alcoholism because one CAN stand away from booze but one HAS to eat. I'm glad to hear that you have a therapist and evidently both of your doctors care so that's very good! You stated your real problems, the root of your anorexia I'm sure, already - that you feel your life is out of control, that you are not valued enough. Well, the good news is that your therapist can help you to feel differently both about your life and yourself. You'll overcome this difficult time in your life, I'm sure of it!
:hug:

-------------

Remember Fallujah

Bush to The Hague!

[Nikia]

7. Thanks

I suppose that you are right about it being worse than alcoholism. I will have to continually make the decision to eat. I know without adequately addressing my issues that relapsing will be easier than not even if I can make a determined effort to eat regularly and sufficiently for a while.
I do hope that I can get through this. Thanks for your support.

[uppityperson]

6. I haven't, but have a couple med questions

will PM you.

Edit to add: intestinal parasites(like giardia but many others), thyroid problems are 2 health problems that can also cause symptoms like this. You need a good general everything checkup. I have other ideas too, but this is not a medical help board, hence the PM

[MADem]

8. Are you of Celtic or Northern European ancestry?

You could have a late blooming case of celiac disease (sprue). Keith Olbermann has it, mildly (the MJ Puppet Theater puppets were sold to benefit the research into this malady). It can cause many of the symptoms that you are having. It has to do with a grain intolerance, and can often go for years undiagnosed. The trick to getting a good test of it is to not (I say again, NOT) change your eating habits, particularly with regard to grain consumption, before you are tested. Even at that, the tests are not up to par and can sometimes be inconclusive. In a nutshell, the condition tears up your small intestine and makes it difficult for you to absorb nutrients. Weight loss, unexplained, is a common complaint.

Not a doc, don't play one on tv, just a thought for you to pursue if applicable. Google has a load of info on it, some sites better than others....having said that:

Only you, of course, know how much you are eating, and you know how much you need to eat, and what sort of foods you need, to stay healthy. Whatever you do, don't ignore the issue, and don't bullshit yourself--obviously, you are concerned, and that's a good first step. Good luck to you...

[Nikia]

9. I've had the test done

And it was negative. I had read an article about it though and it did sound like I had some of the symptoms. A book that I got said that there can be rarer food sensitivities and that an elimination diet starting with eating only turkey and rice and then slowly adding cooked veggies, can help determine this.
I don't know how good of an idea that is at this point. I suppose that it could be good in the long run, but I don't think that it would help me gain or even maintain my weight in the short term. I know that I probably should be eating 25-30% more calories than I average now if I am going to gain 10 pounds. When I ate normally I'd look at those diets in the women's magazines and it would look like a starvation diet to me. Now those diets look like a lot of food, more than I eat now.

[MADem]

10. You need to eat, then

Maybe you will do better with five or six meals a day, the grazing method. But you do need to eat. Eat whatcha REALLY like in addition to your normal consumption for awhile, not just what is "good" for you...but EAT.

And listen to your doctor!!!! And don't let OTHERS define how you feel about yourself....that's just a waste of life, because when the shit hits the fan, detractors aren't gonna be there to help you and care about you. Gotta love yourself first!!!

[u4ic]

13. Was it a blood test?

Which are often incorrect.

The only sure way to know is through an endoscopy.

[Nikia]

14. What would they see?

The doctor saw mild gastitis and colitis when they did upper and lower GI. When I say mild, the specialist did biopsies and saw the inflamation under the microscope. The specialist didn't think that it was too significant.
The celiac test was a blood test.

[u4ic]

18. I think the villi would be smooth

or something to that effect...normally it wouldn't be...it would be from the small intestine that the biopsy would be taken.

Mine didn't show celiac, but I've found that avoiding gluten (especially wheat, but I can have kamut and oats in small doses) has really helped me. An elimination diet can identify if gluten could be causing it. Just cut it out for a week or two and see if your symptoms improve. Just to note that lots of things have gluten in them, so it's important to check the labels. Bread, cereals, pasta, breaded things, beer, cakes, pies, cookies, pastries...this page goes into more detail http://www.gicare.com/pated/edtgs06.htm

Sounds difficult, and it can be at first...but the relief is tremendous, IF it turns out you are sensitive.

[cally]

11. Hi Nikia

A relative specializes in treating eating disorders. For awhile, she was concerned about my kids so I got many lectures and reading materials for anorixia. One of the symptons of the disease is that anorexics think of themselves as less thin than others see them. They also think they eat more than they do. Talk to your therapist and doctor and accept treatment if you need some. Good luck. It's a tough disease.

[Nikia]

15. Thanks for your support

It means a lot to me.

[amazona]

12. I think you would know if you had anorexia nervosa

I think you would know if you were eating disordered. Anorexics and bulimics sometimes keep that a secret for many a year from medical professionals. It doesn't go the other way. You don't bop along blithely unaware until a medical professional informs you that, oh yeah, by the way, you might be ED!

Your anorexia sounds, to me, like it may have a non-psychiatric cause.

I don't think the therapist will be of any help in that case, and she could even delay your receiving proper help. I would get a second opinion from another doctor who specializes in the digestive issues. Your inability to gain weight could be related to the irritable bowel syndrome or it could be that you are not yet properly diagnosed.

I don't want to frighten you, but a good friend's dad was wrongly diagnosed with a psychiatric disorder (depression) that caused him to lose weight and be hospitalized in a mental health facility. By the time they learned it was colon cancer, it was too late to save him. My mom was wrongly diagnosed with depression when she presented with being tired. (She has always been petite.) She was not correctly diagnosed with obstructed arteries until she had such severe chest pain that she needed bypass surgery.

You KNOW if you are throwing up, deliberately refusing food, filling up with lettuce, etc. to keep an anorexic weight. If you are trying to eat a diet with sufficient calories, yet you are still losing weight, please do not be fobbed off with a diagnosis of depression, anorexia, or anxiety. Insist on a proper diagnosis.

I'll be thinking good thoughts for you.

The conservation movement is a breeding ground of communists
and other subversives. We intend to clean them out,
even if it means rounding up every birdwatcher in the country.
--John Mitchell, US Attorney General 1969-72

[Nikia]

16. I thought that I would know for sure, but maybe not

I know that in the beginning, I was very sick digestively and had trouble eating. It was not a choice at that point. I became sick after my grandfather died. To make a long story short, I had a troubled childhood and my grandparents were the only adults who I could trust when I was very young. I live far away from them and had not visited much.
I have had an upper and lower scope and several blood tests. I have seen a digestive specialist who said that I had irritable bowel and that if I couldn't tolerate the side effects of the medicines that there wasn't much that he could do for me.
After a few months, I wasn't as sick. I could eat without throwing up. I no longer enjoyed eating. I often felt bloaty after eating, which was somewhat relieved by burping. I continued to lose weight but more slowly. At first, the weight loss disturbed me. Then it didn't disturb me as much. I have had the feelings as stated in the original post. I have gotten rather moody compared to how I was.
I am not throwing up any more. I do choose not to eat sometimes because I don't feel well or stop eating because I don't feel well. For some reason, I have no desire for junk food. When I am hungry, I choose salads, veggie soups, chicken, and other lower calorie food. My appetite actually lessens if we go to a restuarant. Whether this is psychological or physical, I am not sure. I get panic attacks occaisionally so I know firsthand that psychological distress can cause real physical symptoms. I also get lower levels of anxiety and do not feel well in certain situations.
From the articles I have read on the internet today, anorexia doesn't necessarily mean that you completely fast or consume under 100 calories a day. Many anorexics consume what a heavy weight dieter with a lower metabolism would consume, 1000-1400 calories. That is probably close to what I am consuming on an average day. The problem is that my job is not sednetary and my metabolism has not dropped significantly. I need more calories than I am eating to maintain a healthy weight.
The GI specialist who I last saw when I was 10 pounds heavier said that I just needed to eat anyway even if I felt ill. Is it really that easy? Can I really believe that everytime I sit down for a meal that it is necessary that I eat it for my health? Can I believe that I should eat any and everytime that I am hungry? Can I really believe that it is good for me to gain weight? It has to be everytime.
I will see my doctor again in a couple of weeks and ask if she has any other ideas or tests. I do have psychological issues to deal with regardless. I won't agree to be hospitalized or anything at this point. I am underweight, but my bloodwork (potassium, iron, blood sugar, ect.) is still good and I am still heavier than some people who applauded for their appearance so I doubt that they can force me.
I don't know if my case is unusual. I did know a few girls in high school and college who did end up with anorexia who didn't intend it that way in the beginning. They just took it too far losing weight, which they originally had to lose, before they realized that they had a problem.

[amazona]

17. Most EDs I know...know they are ED

They might or might not consider it a problem. You have the pro-ana group that considers it a sport or form of body modification to be as thin as possible. But, really, they do know. I remember when anorexia was first popularized, and the talk among many of the girls in my circle was, "Let's try that!" I don't think anorexia sneaks up on very many, although anything is possible.

But anyway here are a few more hints--


If you suffer from nausea and lack of appetite, you may be avoiding food that is higher in fat calories because of past bad experiences. I was convinced that I had lost the ability to digest fat and that it would make me vomit. However, you can regain the ability to digest fat if you take it slowly. Try to add a dice-sized square of cheese or two a day, or a tablespoon of almonds. These healthy fats are not too greasy and give your body a chance to re-learn how to use the fat in your diet. I can now go out and eat a rich gourmet meal and enjoy it, no problems. Along way from the days when even a chicken wing or ice cream didn't want to stay down! But I had to build up slowly.

If you try to force yourself to eat too much too fast, you will just make yourself ill again. It is like the starving man who gets sick if he tries to eat a huge feast right away. You have to add the calories slowly.

If you are really too busy or lose appetite when in a restaurant surrounded by overwhelming food smells, another thing that can be helpful is to drink a supplement. Don't use Slimfast or Ensure INSTEAD of a meal. Use it in additional to a meal. It is not a huge amount of calories but it is 200-300, and it is formulated to be easy to digest.

The conservation movement is a breeding ground of communists
and other subversives. We intend to clean them out,
even if it means rounding up every birdwatcher in the country.
--John Mitchell, US Attorney General 1969-72