Got Boys??? Then you'll like this as much as I did.

ScreamingMeemie

(1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore

Thu May-19-05 02:06 PM
Original message

Got Boys??? Then you'll like this as much as I did.

:)

> >Subject: Raising Boys!
>
> >Note: Do Not Attempt No. 8 Indoors
> >
> >a) For those with no children - this is totally hysterical!
> >
> >b) For those who already have children past this age, this is
hilarious..
> >
> >c) For those who have children this age, this is not funny.
> >
> >d) For those who have children nearing this age, this is a warning.
> >
> >e) For those who have not yet had children, this is birth control.
> >
> >The following came from an anonymous Mother in Austin, Texas.
> >
> >Things I've learned from my Boys (honest and not kidding):
> >
> >1.) A king size waterbed holds enough water to fill a 2000 sq. foot
house
> 4 inches deep.
> >
> >2.) If you spray hair spray on dust bunnies and run over them with
roller
> blades, they can ignite.
> >3.) A 3-year old boy's voice is louder than 200 adults in a crowded
> restaurant.
> >
> >4.) If you hook a dog leash over a ceiling fan, the motor is not
strong
> enough to rotate a 42 pound boy wearing Batman underwear and a
Superman
> cape. It is strong enough, however if tied to a paint can, to spread
paint
> on all four walls of a 20x20 ft. room.
> >
> >5.) You should not throw baseballs up when the ceiling fan is on.
When
> using a ceiling fan as a bat, you have to throw the ball up a few
times
> before you get a hit. A ceiling fan can hit a baseball a long way.
> >
> >6.) The glass in windows (even double-pane) doesn't stop a baseball
hit
> by
> a ceiling fan.
> >
> >7.) When you hear the toilet flush and the words "uh oh", it's
already
> too
> late.
> >
> >8.) Brake fluid mixed with Clorox makes smoke, and lots of it.
> >
> >9.) A six-year old boy can start a fire with a flint rock even though
a
> 36-year old man says they can only do it in the movies ..
> >
> >10.) Certain Lego's will pass through the digestive tract of a 4-year
old
> boy.
> >
> >11.) Play dough and microwave should not be used in the same
sentence.
> >
> >12.) Super glue is forever.
> >
> >13.) No matter how much Jell-O you put in a swimming pool, you still
> can't
> walk on water.
> >
> >14.) Pool filters do not like Jell-O.
> >
> >15.) VCR's do not eject "PB &J" sandwiches even though TV commercials
> show
> they do.
> >
> >16.) Garbage bags do not make good parachutes.
> >
> >17.) Marbles in gas tanks make lots of noise when driving.
> >
> >18.) You probably DO NOT want to know what that odor is.
> >
> >19.) Always look in the oven before you turn it on; plastic toys do
not
> like ovens.
> >
> >20.) The fire department in Austin, TX has a 5-minute response time.
> >
> >21.) The spin cycle on the washing m achine does not make earthworms
> dizzy.
> >
> >22.) It will, however, make cats dizzy.
> >
> >23.) Cats throw up twice their body weight when dizzy .
> >
> >24.) 80% of Men who read this will try mixing the Clorox and brake
fluid.