How do you deal with or handle depression?

[The Straight Story]

Over the last few months here has been what has went on in my life which lead me down this path to depression:

1. Bought the house next door to mom and dad. Real close to my folks always, mom was one of a kind. I grew up in this neighborhood and know many people here. I was happy. My first house.

1.5 - Neighbor across street passed on.

2. Nov 1 (give or take a day) mom, who had not been feeling well off and on, went into hospital. She had a colon infection. It burst, they rushed her into OR. She barely made it through. She was in hospital until week before christmas, dying one day ok the next. Day before christmas eve ice storm hits. We lose power. Christmas eve mom goes back in Hospital. New years eve she died. My wife flew home as she had been in CA.

3. Two weeks later took my wife to hospital (same one) she was having an asthma attack, she is ok now.

4. Two weeks after that dad went in for prostate surgery. He is ok now.

5. Last two weeks - I broke a tooth and was in a lot of pain, daughter had severe inner ear infection, wife's eye scratch tore open, and the woman we called mom #2 passed away suddenly two doors down (she was sick and I got to see her a few days before she passed, no one knew it would be that quick).

So now I am depressed, sick all the time, can't focus, have panic attacks. I am a mess. I see a psychiatrist on May 12 (referred there by psychologist.

For those in similar pain in life, what do you do to cope??

[ScooterTramp]

1. Erm, depression? I'm in denial.

:(

[LynzM]

2. You're on the right track

See a psychologist/psychiatrist/counselor. Focus on getting through one day at a time, or one hour, or however you need to break it up. Realize that it is ok to be scared and hurting and having panic attacks, that you went through a lot of stuff and it will take time to come back to a balance in your life. And, get lots of :hug: from DUers!! :grouphug:

[RPM]

3. Drink

I am a student who just recently got married (and therefore back on a health plan) and to cope I have been doing the drinking of the beer.

Wouldnt recommend it, though.

Best of luck to you, things will turn - and when you least expect it. Just stay at it.

[GoddessOfGuinness]

13. I'm glad you don't recommend it.

Alcohol is a depressant.

[Salviati]

4. Well you've certainly had a lot to be stressed out and depressed about...

It's when you start to get depressed for no reason, or depressed about feeling depressed that you can run into trouble. Seems like you're taking steps to combat this, which is good.

One thing that I do, is make sure that I get enough physical activity or excercise. Particularly if you find yourself cooped up inside all day, a brisk walk/run in the out of doors can really help, what with the sunshine and the endorphins.

[GreenPartyVoter]

5. I eat. A lot. And am very heavy. So I don't really recommend

that kind of self-medication. :(

But I feel for you. I loset a granny like neighbor last fall and my grandfather and mom this year.

*hugs*

[ayeshahaqqiqa]

6. wow

you have my sympathies.

When my grandmother died (she was the family member I was closest to growing up) I found a way to do a tribute to her-I got involved in an activity she had always been interested in (genealogy) and I found the answers to some family questions. It really helped me. My mother coped with the death by writing a series of stories about growing up, etc. This helped her.

Hope this information can help you in some way.

[SmokingJacket]

7. Sleep is important.

It's sometimes hard for depressed people to sleep, but if they can, they should make sure they get enough. Lack of sleep -- I believe -- can turn a stressful time into a full-blown depression.

Exercise can also help, if you can do that.

But as for grieving -- only time can help with that. :hug:

[Sabriel]

39. I'll second the sleep and exercise

For one thing, strenuous exercise gets me away--temporarily--from the people who are stressing me out, and for another, it wears me out and helps me sleep. If you can find the time, go wear yourself out once in a while.

Good luck. Lots of depressed people out there, so I'm glad it doesn't carry the stigma it used to (except in my family, of course).

[politicaholic]

8. The psychiatrist will help...

They'll put you on some drug like prozak or something. Take it and slowly ween yourself off over a year.

These things pass. Take care of your kid and draw strength off of her.

Don't dive into a bottle of liquor. I've done that before. It doesn't work.

good luck

[AlienGirl]

9. Meds and counseling

Since you're describing a lot of situational stuff, probably counseling more than meds. Look for someone who does cognitive-behavioral therapy and grief work.

Tucker

[Abelman]

10. Hmm...

I suffer sometimes from general depression. I handle it by making sure I get exercise and do things I find rewarding. It has been a long time since any real depression though.

[Beaverhausen]

11. You've certainly had a lot to deal with

First off be kind to yourself. It's ok to be depressed about this stuff.

One thing that helped me a lot was finding the RIGHT therapist. In my case it wasn't a traditional therapist but a "spiritual counselor." She gave me the tools to get my life together and find the strength within myself to create the life I want. This was 6 years ago and I have to say it works. Not without ups and downs but when I'm working the program it works for me.

I will recommend a book called "You Can Heal Your Life" by Louise Hay.

http://search.barnesandnoble.com/booksearch/isbnInquiry.asp?userid=ol7E22xAmM&isbn=1561706280&itm=2

Might be too new age-y for some people but it really helped me.

Good luck :hug:

editing to add; I agree that exercise is a must...even if its just walking. and I suggest staying off meds. Your depression is probably situational, not biological.

[nytemare]

12. Read "Man's search for Meaning"

By Victor Frankl. He was in a concentration camp in WW2, and lost all his family in the camps. He started a form of psychotherpy called "logotherapy", from his experience in the camps. He came from such despair to do something wonderful for mankind. It is truly a great book.

When things have gone bad for me, I have to always remind myself how lucky I am. By watching a movie, or reading a book about those who have made it through difficult situations and overcome. It is truly the little joys that make life worth living, and they will get you through.

Your psychiatrist should know the book, ask him about it.

:hug:

[Ariana Celeste]

14. Well,

as I am young, with no kids, I was able to drop everything and move. I won't get into all of the reasons I was depressed- but a good deal had to do with constant drama. So, I used my last paycheck to buy a plane ticket to fly out to Indiana and move in with my now husband.

A change in environment did me SO MUCH GOOD. Getting away from all the drama, and all the things that reminded me of drama, having the ability to cut contact with people I wanted nothing to do with.

Before I moved though, I got through the day by reading (ALOT) drawing, writing crappy poetry, and sleeping. And drinking.

It may sound cliche, but activity really does help. I hope you find something to help you cope soon. :hug:

[hyphenate]

15. Sounds like a lot to take in at once

And yes, been there and done that--still doing that.

1. Get some prescription medication. Don't rely on St. John's Wort. They'll start you off (likely) with Prozac. If it doesn't work within three months (needs to be in your system for awhile before you notice any effect), they will try others. But the point is--don't try to buck up and be a stoic about it--take what is offered.

2. Depending on your doctor, you may start either individual therapy or group. I say start with individual if you can, because it's a one on one session, and you can let fly with a lot of the grief and stress you have right now.

3. Don't expect to have all of these things go away over night. Not only are you dealing with grief, but with so many multiple events going on, it's going to require good, old-fashioned time to heal wounds.

I'm in the healing stages for the most part, but it's ongoing.

Another thing you might want to make sure about are your sleeping habits. If you are suffering insomnia, tell your doctor, but don't expect any major miracles. You shouldn't take sleeping pills for very long if you are having insomnia (which is a major component of stress and depression), because they can be highly addictive, and also lose potency for you over a period of time.

[NeoConsSuck]

16. A wise woman told me..

to change a mood, move a muscle. Take a brisk walk on a sunny day or exercise.

[readmylips]

17. You got every right to be sad....

I don't think you're clinically depressed. You are in natural deep sadness due to all the unhappy circumstances. If you live in the cold states near the ocean, make sure you take long walks along the ocean. Breathing fresh air, salt water and blue water is calming. At home, take a hot bubble bath and cry your eyes out. Don't drink alcohol. Eat fresh fruit and eat dark chocolate for pleasure. Do some form of little exercise or just sleep if your body wants. Don't allow your sadness to grow into clinical depression. Others depend on you.

When I felt depressed, my doctor told me that I was in a state of deep sadness and not depressed. The word depressed is being misused for emotions that are very normal in humans.

[GoddessOfGuinness]

18. Be kind to people...

not that you aren't already; but somehow, performing those little niceties help ease the burdens. It might be something as simple as holding the door open for someone, and accepting their thanks with your full heart. That small act really did make a difference!

I hope things get better for you and your family soon. :hug:

~positive cybervibes~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

[gardenista]

19. I don't really have any advice. Just want to say

that with all that going on, it's normal to feel depressed. I'm sorry you've been through such a rough year, and hope that the ground will soon stop shifting under you, and that your loved ones can offer some comfort.

I'm glad you have an appointment with a psychologist. After a similar kind of year, I know that I would never have been able to cope without my psychologist in my corner.
And one more thing...

:hug:

[Taxloss]

20. As a clinical depressive, I sympathise.

Remember your problem is chemical. It isn't you, it's an imbalance in your head. Don't try to ignore it; just appreciate it for what it is, and rwalise that there's a world beyond it.

Exercise is also good. Go and play frisbee in the park for a few hours.

[The Straight Story]

22. Thanks to all for the advice so far - the physical is worse then mental

at times for me. Shortly after mom died I was sick a lot, thought I was dying and kidneys were failing like hers (she only had one good one). Now I am sick again, weak, when I eat I feel like I will throw up. So this all adds to a deep fear of dying like others around me have.

It is a cycle I am trying to break, but not much works yet. I was ok for a few weeks, just sad and such. Now I am real down and can hardly function and generally don't seem too much to care to.

I have a good life, wonderful things in it, but am so down I don't seem to enjoy anything and live in a fear I don't want.

I pray it passes it soon.

[Taxloss]

26. I have that at times, when you can't keep down food.

It would be bad enough, but the fact it makes people so curious when you have to excuse yourself ... impossible.

If you would like to talk more freely, feel free to PM me.

[Quixote1818]

21. You simply have to CHOSE to take your life back! Here is a list.

Believe it or not you can chose to not let the Depression beat you. You just say "FUCK THIS DEPRESSION" I won't let it beat me! You tell yourself over and over that you are strong and life is tough but you can handle it and you are going to make the decision to be happy! Get yourself a project to work on, schedule a vacation to look forward to and plan for, exercise, exercise, exercise! Be around supportive friends as much as possible, go see a funny movie or an inspiriational movie, do something to help others.

1. Attitude
2. Exercise
3 A Project
4. Creativity
5. Friends and Family
6. See an inspirational movie or read a book that gives life meaning
7. Scream and yell and cry and get out all those fucked up emotions
8. Do something to help others

On Choosing One's Attitude
"Everything can be taken from a man but ...the last of the human freedoms - to choose
one's attitude in any given set of circumstances, to choose one's own way." Viktor Frankl

[miss_kitty]

23. Sometimes things seem to be so bad for so long.

And we are not given a chance to catch our breathe between events. Let me say, I am sorry for your losses and all the crises that have plagued you recently. I think what you have been through is harder than the cancer treatment I went through, mainly, because your events are connected only by time, and you have no control over those events.

When I was told I had cancer, I was devastated. I had to do a lot of personal work, pretty much alone, since I have no SO, no parents not close to family, etc.

Somehow, I started focusing on getting to the other side of the situation. When this is over, when I am healed. When I don't have to come in for treatment anymore, when I no longer feel sick to my stomach. When I got to the other side, I DID get knocked back one more time, but that fact that I had made it through the treatment and attained my goal made the setback much easier to take.

I had a counselor (psychologist) a specialist in pain management and that helped immensely.

My best thoughts are with you, The Straight Story.

[The Straight Story]

35. A good game plan

Thank you.

[radwriter0555]

24. TRASQUILIZERS and some decompression time DOING ENJOYABLE THINGS.

You MUST occupy your time.

[MrSandman]

25. Until you see the psychiatrist....

Here is an execise I use often. Try to get a referral to a therapist also.

Meds are ok, but getting your head around the problems will be better long-term.

Set aside 30 minutes each day and walk. Whatever goes on. Pick 30 minutes you can schedule your day around. Walking will increase serotonin levels. The time will help internalize self worth.

Good luck.

[Droopy]

27. Well, man, I take an anti-depressant

as well as a mood stabilizer and an anti-psychotic. Between the three of them they pretty much wipe out my depression. They are not all prescribed just for depression, though. I'd say that in your situation meds are a good start along with therapy. You may be dealing with things that haven't really registered in your consciousness yet and a good therapist can help bring that stuff to the surface.

[AntiCoup2K4]

28. Depression is a chemical imbalance, so the physical problem must be fixed.

Specifically, the chemical is seratonin. It's not at all surprising that having several stressful events in your life caused the depletion of seratonin in the brain. The question is how to get those levels back up.

Others have recommended prescription anti-depressants. And they may work, but a lot of them also have side effects that can be as bad or worse as the depression itself. I recommend a natural alternative whenever possible. St John's Wort has been well publicized as a natural remedy for depression, but it's probably best for what I would describe as a short term "temporary depression" or a seasonal disorder kind of thing.

My recommendation would be 5-HTP. It converts to seratonin in the brain faster than any of the prescription drugs, with no harmful side effects, other than possibly disturbing your sleep patterns for the first week or so while your brain and body adjust to it. Actually a good side effect of 5-HTP is that it helps reduce carbohydrate cravings (for those of you who said eating was your reaction to depression.

And no, I have no medical degree, but I base my opinion on extensive research before and then personal experience. And complete mistrust of pharmaceutical companies, even the ones without direct connections to the Bush Criminal Empire.

I can say without any doubt that 5-HTP is the reason I'm still on this planet and am able to recommend it to others. Because about 5 years ago, I didn't see any light at the end of that tunnel. It's truly ironic that I was coming out of that darkness right when the country started falling into Hell.

[AlienGirl]

31. St. John's Wort is a mild MAOI

St. John's Wort contains a chemical in it that is a monoamine oxidase inhibitor. So anyone taking it should follow the same dietary and drug precautions as for other MAOIs, which can be kind of a pain. OTOH there are some types of depression that respond best to MAOIs.

Most prescription anti-depressants don't "convert to" serotonin; they block the re-uptake of serotonin so that there will be more available. I've heard good things about 5-HTP but my own experience with it was disappointing. I'd probably use it in combination with a prescription SSRI.

I've never had any side-effects from Prozac, Paxil, or Zoloft, but Wellbutrin gave me shakes.

Tucker

[Taxloss]

33. I found that SSRIs drove me from mild acceptance of my condition

into a maelstrom of self-loathing and self-destruction. It was the single worst medical decision ever made for me. I spent half my time too doped to think straight, the other half loathing my weakness and hating myself.

I didn't start to get better until I stopped the drugs. And then I got better, and quickly.

Yes, it's a chemical problem. It is for me, it is for you. For me, I also see that it's my brain, and I have to live with it. I didn't want to be doped every day.

[Droopy]

34. It is a personal decision

and you have to go with what works for you. Psychiatric medication is tricky because it can affect everybody differently. I take three meds without any side affects other than I need a little more sleep. And I have to take those meds. The alternative is a life of hell and probably an early death. But I guess I am lucky in that they found some meds that work for me with minimal side affects. It took some tinkering and I originally felt like a slug on the stuff they had me try first. But everything is alright now and I now feel like I did before I was struck down with my illness.

[The Straight Story]

37. Funny you should mention that

My wife gave me a bottle of 5-htp just last night and I took some about 20 min ago and was just reading up on it!

[prole_for_peace]

29. i am on anti-depressants.

that's how i handle it

[Deja Q]

30. Post.

Maybe not always the best thing to do, but I do it. Always speak your mind.

[Pharlo]

32. This may sound dumb,

but when I was depressed, I got a puppy.

I cannot stay depressed around a puppy. Kittens either.

[youthere]

36. My sympathies...

You're doing the right thing going to the doctor. Faithfully take any meds or therapy prescribed.
What I find helps me:

1. Excercise-Motion affects emotion
2. Volunteer for a cause you feel strongly about. Focus your energy on other people.
3. Cry if you need to-then blow your nose and go play with your kids and hug your wife.
4. No matter how you feel, get up and go to to bed at regular times (maintain a schedule)
5. Go have really great sex with your SO.
6. Have faith that this too, shall pass
7. Go have really great sex with your SO (it bears repeating)

[The Straight Story]

38. Sadly

I have not even desired sex of late, and my SO is a pretty red head and can be quite wild :) (who also posts on here from time to time, AutumnMist is her name on here I think - I accidentally posted under her a name a few times when I did not realize she was logged into DU on my system too.)

The one thing which does help is #6, I am sure that someday this will pass and I will be my crazy old self. I hope.

[youthere]

41. Well,

It's certainly understandable after the year you've had. Good luck.
(Mediocre sex works too!:7 )

[KittyWampus]

40. Acupuncture. You Might Want To Augment Western Meds W/Chinese

please just think about it.

[EC]

42. I slept allot

and kept telling myself that bad things run in cycles and it would end someday...it did...although I know the next cycle is just down the road, I've learned to appreciate the good runs more..