Well, I found out that a married couple that I was friends with broke up.

[coloradodem2005]

I met them last summer when I was doing some volunteering for the Kerry campaign. I knew them as a couple. They seemed pretty happy. They were not married at the time. But to me they were for all intents and purposes married. They were engaged. But, last February, they got married. I was invited to the wedding. I went. Things seemed very happy that day. They seemed really happy that day. But appearently things were not happy between them. He appearently was very mentally and emotionally abusive of her. He was also extremely possessive too. But she had appearently been hurt by him for a long time and he always said that he would change after they were married. That didn't happen. They appearently had gotten into a fight on their way to the honeymoon and he ragged on her. After less than two months it got to the point where she had asked him to leave. I called today not knowing wanting to talk to both of them. She lied to get out of the conversation, and then called me back later to apologize to me for lying to her. She told me what happened. I listened and offerred some words of my own and she wants me to call her back in a couple of days because she actually finds what I have to say helpful. I feel really bad for her. In a couple days I am going to call again and see how she's doing.

I never understood why people do this, especially with someone they supposedly love. I don't have a woman, but if I did, I would treat her like a goddess. I would want to love her in a way that is unheard of. Make her the happiest woman on the planet, ever. Why other people can't think this way is beyond me.

[anti_shrub]

1. this will probably get me flamed, but...

in my experience it seems that given the choice, most women will pick the "project" man they try to turn into someone they like rather than the man who's already that way.

Since I spent my high school career as the "male best friend" to a lot of girls, I got a ringside seat to the female mind. What's funny is that once I pointed out to my one female friend that she was ignoring the guy who was pining for her while she was wasting time trying to reshape an asshole, she ended up dropping the ass and marrying the nice guy.

Hopefully your friend will have a similar happy ending.

[libodem]

2. Sounds like she needed to move on

I've had a hard time of it, as well when seemingly decent couples break up. My brother and sister-in-law were married 26 years and she left him last year, for another man. My favorite personal-growth, enlightenment-seeking, couple broke-up about 3 years ago. I liked them individually and how they were as a couple. Goes to show, you can't judge a book, by it's cover.