Married DUers. Do you "pool" your money into one account?

[maveric]

Or have seperate accounts? Reason I ask is that a married fiend of mine just mentioned how his wife owes him $75.00. This couple has 3 kids and a mortgage.
When I was married both of our checks went into one account and we paid things from that one account.
If you are married with a family shouldnt it go into the same till?

[SCRUBDASHRUB]

1. Separate. It's just easier to keep things straight.

[ulysses]

2. just one account.

It was never a question. That's us, though.

[alittlelark]

3. I wouldn't have married someone who wanted to have seperate accts.

I just don't get it.

I understand that some people are into it, but it makes the marriage seem transitory to me. If you don't trust someone w/ your $, why marry them?

[Bouncy Ball]

26. It has nothing to do with that. I totally trust my husband

and have been with him almost 15 years.

Here's why it works: when we pooled our money and he'd go out and spend $100 on computer games or $500 on a new stereo for his truck, I'd get upset. That was less money *I* could spend.

When I went out and spent money on shoes (non-necessary shoes) or scrapbooking stuff, etc., he'd get upset, because that meant he couldn't buy what he wanted to.

With separate money and separate accounts, once I pay my bills what I do with the rest is my business. What he does with the rest of his paycheck is HIS business.

It's sooooooo nice. No questions, no arguments, no problem!

[concord]

30. BINGO!

It works for cars too. He really wanted a Cobra, and I wanted a Corolla. I'm not sure how this wouldn't have been a fight if we didn't have separate accts, AND separate cars.

(The Cobra's gone now ... :) But again, that was HIS decision, not mine to make.)

[benny05]

4. Two accounts

It helps my spouse to know what s/he has in her/his account. Also, the new car is paid out of spouse's account.

[maveric]

9. With community property laws whats hers is yours and vice-versa.

If you get divorced all that you both have gets split in two.
How do pay the bills? Equal? If you make substatially more than she does then after all is paid she'll have a smaller balance in her account.

[benny05]

13. Spouse makes less than I

Spouse's account pays for car, extras; my account pays for house and repair loan, plus groceries

[Ilsa]

5. One account. No score-keeping.

We owe each other everything, so "$75" doesn't really amount to a whole lot. I would go nuts trying to keep the accounting straight in a relationship like that, much less feel stressed out by it.

[koopie57]

6. I just got my own checking account again

cuz the check cards started making it hard to keep track of the balance in the one account, but we don't keep track of who paid for what or who owes who. I like to have my own, but not cuz of the money aspect, more of a little privacy. Not that I have anything I need to keep secret, but after 20 years it is kinda nice to just have my own again.

[Misunderestimator]

7. I've found the best thing is to have separate accounts but one joint one..

contributing equally (or some agreed upon ratio based on income or whatever) into the account and using it only for joint expenses.

[Left Is Write]

8. Yes.

My husband does have a separate checking account of his own for incidental expenses (gas, lunch, coffee, whatever) so I can keep our main checkbook. I do the budgeting and bill paying, so I just dump some money into his account at the beginning of the month for his personal use.

We don't "borrow" money from each other, and in any case, I'm not the actual wage earner - he is.

[concord]

10. Separate accounts work for us

And have for almost 20 years. For convenience, we have one joint account that we both put an agreed amt into every month. That acct is for the house or any unforeseen things that come up, like the dog swallowed a rock and needs vet care.

I pay the bills every month, and give hubby a "bill" that shows what all the bills were and how much he owes for them. We split it based on our hourly pay. He transfers that amt to me and we are all set. We do the taxes that way too.

I don't know how we would work it if only one of us was working, but that never having been the case, this works for us.

I grew up in a house where fights over money were endless. Keeping clear accounts and making clear agreements as things come up keeps the peace.

[LynzM]

11. Joint account

I don't really understand having two unless one spouse is very irresponsible with money. Unless you had one for bills and one for other stuff, but that's more about money usage, not who 'owns' what. We make financial decisions together, but as someone else said up-thread, that's just us.

[jmm]

12. Maybe his wife would pay him back if

he wasn't a fiend.

[gollygee]

17. LOL

I saw that too :D

[Panda1]

28. Hahaha...me too.

And I thought......

[YankeyMCC]

14. "Pool"

Might be a bit of a generous description of what it amounts to when we put it togther.

Good size bucket maybe.

[Lefta Dissenter]

15. his, mine and ours

Joint for household stuff, his for his work-related stuff that he wants to keep track of separately because he gets reimbursed, and mine where I keep a little money stashed that I can spend without his seeing it - like at Christmas and his birthday.

We're frequently robbing Peter to pay Paul, so where the money 'belongs' or came from doesn't make a difference - it just helps more in some of the accounting.

[gollygee]

16. One account but my parents have separate accounts

and have been married 39 years. Every couple has to find what works for them. :)

[trogdor]

18. Hell no.

We used to do this many, many moons ago, until we started bouncing checks all over town (oops). It's WAY easier to maintain two accounts, and divvy up the bills.

[Champ]

19. A friend of mine and his fiancee

Have a joint account. They don't like look at it as his money, her money, they look at is our money. All the bills are paid from the account, he sees it's easier that way considering his fiancee makes much more then he does deciding how much he should pay of the pays and stuff. They have a very trusting and open relationship, they discuss purchases over $100 with the exceptions of birthdays and stuff like that. It seems to work out and the both of them are never broke that way.

[candy]

20. His wife owes him $75.00? Sounds like my ex--Aaaarrrggghhhhh!

[kdmorris]

21. All one account.

It surprised me greatly years ago to find out that people had separate accounts at all when married. I just never thought to have separate accounts.

[flamingyouth]

22. In my first marriage, I kept things separate

I pretty much always did, and in retrospect that should have been a major red flag that I couldn't trust him.

In my next one, we will pool our money into one account. :)

[bearfan454]

23. Seperate of course

Alway seperate. That way I can't be told we don't have enough money for me to go hunting and I can't tell her she can't buy whatever.

[Bouncy Ball]

27. bearfan: that's exactly why we went separate!

But you put it more succinctly than I could!

[Maat]

24. Joint.

Over 28 years together (21 of them married). Just works for us. Everything is also in joint tenancy - so if one of us passes (God forbid), the other spouse immediately has title to all of it, and can keep things going.

[Bouncy Ball]

25. Nope, totally and completely separate.

It saved our marriage.

I get paid, he gets paid. I have a checking account, he has a checking account. We each have savings accounts and a shared savings account.

I pay my bills, he pays his. For instance, since he pays the mortgage (which is big), I have a higher number of bills, because they are all smaller.

I pay the electric, gas and water, because he's a freakazoid and if he paid those, he would still be driving me crazy with turning off lights the moment a person walked out of the room. I'm good about conserving energy, but I don't drive everyone crazy.

I pay for my cell phone, he pays for his. He pays for cable, because if it were up to me, we wouldn't have it.

Any debt he takes on, he pays for. Same for me.

In fact, I owe him $350, which I will be paying him as soon as I get paid. That's an unusually high amount, but we will often "float" each other $50 or $100 if the other one needs it.

We have it worked out so that our expenses are equitable compared to our pay. It's really a VERY nice system and here's the main reason why: whatever money I spend after my bills are paid, he doesn't give a SHIT about. I can go buy three pairs of shoes and he doesn't care. Likewise, he can go buy some computer game or a million blank CDs to burn with music and it just isn't an issue for me at all. It's his money.

It's HEAVEN. I wouldn't go back to pooling our money for anything. Plus when we buy each other gifts, it truly is a surprise.

[Misunderestimator]

29. Perfect arrangement.

:thumbsup: I wouldn't do it any other way (and I've done the pooling before).

[erinlough]

33. Same for me but....

I went as far as to make the part of the household bills proportional to our individual income. I have always done my finances this way and I suggest it to young couples who have asked me all the time. I found it a way to put a total stop to all arguing about money permanently.

When we make large purchases we discuss whether each of us can afford our part of the purchase.

[ofrfxsk]

31. One account

We discuss any potential purchase over $100 to make sure it's really necessary. Both of us have realized over the years how many things we just don't need.
We do give ourselves a small allowance to spend on whatever we feel like every month.
It's worked for us for 10+ years and we've saved a boatload of money from not buying on a whim.
Every marriage/relationship is different though.

[CRK7376]

32. One account,

one income. My wife is a stay-at-home Mom....When she was also employed...before kids...we pooled our meager checks into one account....