Headlines for the New Millennium, April 7, 2005

[skip fox]

President's Behavior Odd on West Lawn:
Seen with Closed Eyes, Tapping Shoes, Wishing


I, know . . . too long!!!

You got some?

[CO Liberal]

1. Generalissimo Francisco Franco Still Dead

[Fenris]

2. Pope's Wife Gives Birth to Twins

[skip fox]

3. Rove Hides Nazi Stash

Seems he had a trove of Nazi books, posters, pictures, maps, uniforms, etc.

[skip fox]

4. dupe

sorry

[Fenris]

5. Jesus Returns to Earth, Has a Sandwich, Leaves

[Fenris]

6. Mexico Passes Anti-Anglo Immigration Act; Vigilante Mexicans Guard Border

[Zuni]

7. Walmart declares bankruptcy: FBI investigating Securities Fraud

[Fenris]

8. Charles III Declares Monarchy Shall Be Abolished With His Death

[UrbScotty]

11. I'd like QEII to do that so Charles doesn't become King. (nt)

[ImpeachBush]

9. Tremblors felt in Rome ...

Story:

This morning, small earthquakes were felt in Rome and Vatican City. It began yesterday, shortly after the American presidential assembly arrived, and continued throughout the evening and into today. Seismic data shows the first tremblors were slight, barely registering on seismic equipment. As the day wears on, the earthquakes have increased in intensity, the last registering at 3.2 on the Richter Scale. Many people arriving here to view the Pope's funeral, have begun to head out of town. Geologists believe the small quakes may be caused by increased volcanic activity at Pompeii, but locals aren't so sure. "It's that American dictator that's done it", said Dominici Trapani, a newspaper vendor in the city. "We know he is an affront to all things good, and God is speaking to his people at this very moment by shaking the ground. It is a warning. I will close my shop and leave town now, before it gets really bad."

In a related story, storm clouds have begun gathering and weather projections are for increased cloudiness and thunderstorms tomorrow. The unusal weather pattern is responsible for swarms of locusts seen on the coasts of Italy.

[skip fox]

12. Geez! We need to start our own paper!!

:toast:

[regularguy]

10. Bush twins caught in compromising position with DU's regularguy.

:)

[skip fox]

13. Please take "care of business" before you post.

As I used to say, Some tastes are acquired. (But as my sister used to say, Some tastes are retarded.)

:toast:

[LynneSin]

14. "Bryan Barton caught an illegal alien and all I got was this T-shirt."

Wait, that actually happened!

http://story.news.yahoo.com/news?tmpl=story&cid=519&ncid=519&e=1&u=/ap/20050407/ap_on_re_us/border_volunteers

[skip fox]

15. Bush Plagued By Nightmares

Reports Say Pretzel Dreams Haunt President

[UrbScotty]

16. Weather Channel's "Storm Stories" beats O'Reilly (nt)

[skip fox]

17. Image of Mary Appears on VP's Pillow Case

Cheney Reported Too Shaken to Comment

[skip fox]

18. Rove to Friend: Bullwinkle Favorite Philosopher

:toast:

[skip fox]

20. or Bullwinkle: Rove Favorite Philosopher

lovely, crazy simbosis

[skip fox]

19. O'Reilly: Plame Blame Game Illegal

His true colors are just beneath the surface, and it's all surface.

:toast:

[skip fox]

21. April 7, 2005: Another Day Empty of Leadership

geez

[Fenris]

22. Pope's Body Beamed Aboard Mothership for Burial on All-Catholic Rigel 4