NYT Breaking: President Bush announces Karl Rove as new Pope

[Tom Yossarian Joad]

Washington, AP: In a surprise announcement during the President's radio address today, President Bush announced his decision to install Karl Rove as Pope upon the expected death of the current Pontiff.

Bush said, "The Vatican is a small country without of Democratic values and a theocracy to boot. In an effort to spread Democracy and Freedom, I have instructed General Killem to surround Vatican City to aid in the installation of Mr. Rove at the moment of the idol worshiping John Paul's death. The Vatican Guard is instructed to lay down their arms and realize that we shall keep all our options on the table."

A later question to Scott McClellan during a press conference was "Does Mr. Bush realize Mr. Rove is not a Catholic?"

Mr. McClellan replied, "Terry Schiavo, Michael Jackson, Social Security."

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[unblock]

1. you don't quite have his m.o. down pat. think pope fleischer the first

[AntiCoup2K4]

2. Nah, Ari quit too long ago.

More likely (and more frightening) Pope Asscrotch I

[Tom Yossarian Joad]

4. Heh. Actually, my first thought was Wolfie...

[baldguy]

3. If they could, they would.