Chick tract of the Day: What will happen if Liberals and the UN win!

[Zuni]

http://www.chick.com/reading/tracts/0094/0094_01.asp

[dolo amber]

1. ...

:rofl:

That is just PRECIOUS. :7

[Zuni]

4. I just sit back and enjoy

:popcorn:

Jack Chick had his :tinfoilhat: on tight when he wrote that one

[Fenris]

2. This is my favorite tract of all time

I used to have this as my sig pic:

[Zuni]

5. It is quite amusing

[drumwolf]

3. Looks like a superhero comic strip

Apparently, this is Jack Chick's idea of what a "new age healer" looks like:



A friend of mine made the observation on his LiveJournal that the way fundies talk, you'd think we were in some sort of bad superhero cartoon show. "The forces of good must defeat the forces of evil!"

Maybe THAT's why fundies hate shows like Teletubbies and Spongebob Squarepants -- because they don't have that MANLY superhero ethic. :P

[Commie Pinko Dirtbag]

6. My 3yo wants to watch Discovery Kids all the time.

I'll bet she'll turn up just like Bobby! :freak:

[LostinVA]

44. I liked the OLD one, when the text was different

The "homosexual" ones, too. They are more "compassionate" than they used to be...

[BurtWorm]

7. Featuring the ungodly offspring of the Esso gas drip and a Hershey Kisss.

[Fenris]

10. Blessed Mother Goddess? Queen of Heaven?

Whom could Jack Chick be referring?

[flamingyouth]

19. I like his superhero Druid costume

Very nice touch.

[LostinVA]

52. I received a suit just like that when I was initiated as a Druid

It's very Celtic.

[WoodrowFan]

42. he looks like he got his costume from an old Star Trek

The healer looks like he got his costume from an old Star Trek (STOS)

[TlalocW]

8. More Chick insanity but...

What grabbed me is that he actually said that we're in the end times. I've never seen one of his tracts do that - maybe I just missed them?

TlalocW

[Zuni]

21. He is 'Rapture Ready' (TM)

[Liberal Veteran]

9. Wow..that's the product of a proundly disturbed mind.

I almost feel sorry for him.

[BurtWorm]

11. Don't feel sorry for him. He's saved.

Are you?

[Liberal Veteran]

15. I think I am somewhere between Jesus and evil Little Bobby....

...who was obviously modeled after Damien Thorn.

[HamstersFromHell]

25. I thought he was Billy Mumy

"You're a bad man!"

[mr blur]

12. This Chick is seriously deranged

I mean, I know they're quite funny but really, he's way out there.

[Taverner]

14. It's scary tho because people actually beleive this shite

When I was in Junior High, (at a fundie christian one...Valley Christian in San Jose...) the school play was a dramatic version of one of these.

Good times....

[ghostsofgiants]

13. What the fuck?

That has to be one of the most insane things I've ever read.

[On the Road]

17. I've Read a Lot of Chick Tracts

but this is unusual even for him.

[LostinVA]

53. This one has been around forever

I'm 40, and I remember it when I was little. It scared the hell out of me. Some of the text is different now -- not quite as melodramatic and cheesy, believe it or not! He's been Rapture Ready forever, the freak. Some of these Fundies are just Death Cultists.

In college I waitressed at a place where this couple would NEVER leave a tip -- just a Chick tract. We all bribed the hostess not to seat them in our section. Of course, they drove the waitstaff NUTS with special requests.

[Jokerman]

16. Party Naked With Jesus?

Apparently those who assend will leave their clothes behind.

[Liberal Veteran]

27. Well, duh! You can't go up to heaven wearing just anything.

Imagine how awful it would have been if the Rapture had come while parachute pants or fanny packs were in style?

[Zuni]

32. or Jams (TM) or Members Only (TM) Jackets

[LostinVA]

55. I loved Jams.

[LostinVA]

54. People who have had a near death experience SWEAR

There's a doorman ala Studio 54 at the Pearly Gates. I saw it on "Dateline." Better nekkid than refused entry due to that embarrassing yard sale Members' Only jacket purchase.

[jackelope72]

18. Bwahahah! At that instant, the Rapture hits!

As if it's a comet or meteorite or something!

Talk about your Deus Ex Machina!

Hahahahahahaah!

[Commie Pinko Dirtbag]

20. Can I get a bit serious here? Just a tiny bit?

Picture a gullible person who actually buys into this craziness. After being all fired up from his/her Chick tract fix, s/he drives by people coming out of a Catholic church. Or an esoteric product shop. Or a NOW meeting.

:scared: :scared: :scared: :scared: :scared: :scared: :scared: :scared:

[asthmaticeog]

29. Yeah, that's the rub.

There *are* people who take that literally, as if the UN would ever outlaw a religion. To us it seems WAY over the top, but there are people who think that's close to reality, and those people, generally speaking, tend to be armed.

[LostinVA]

57. And, you CANNOT get through to them

Seriously. I think they have a mental disorder. I am not taking about all Fundamentalists, just that group of truly nutso ones, like the ones in Florida.

[ZenLefty]

22. Wow, that one is truly depraved.

I'm kind of speechless. :o

[Zuni]

24. really?

Chick doesn't shock me anymore

[AntiCoup2K4]

23. Cheney makes an appearance in Chickworld

[ET Awful]

26. I've seen loony Chick tracts before, but that is the most loony

thing I've ever seen.

I especially like the "new age healer" costume. I didn't know they wore costumes :).

BUAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!!!

This guy is so far around the bend he's made a full loop and is headed toward the bend again.

[solinvictus]

28. Wow!

Captain Healer, the Human Bullet will come to get you! But wait! Up in the sky! Is it a bird? A plane? No, it's Rapture Man!

[EstimatedProphet]

30. That's one of the worst I have ever seen

Chick is INSANE! He needs to be taken away to a re-education camp! We should report him and get a reward!

[Zuni]

31. It really sums up the whole Chick phenomenon

[Hobarticus]

33. Little Bobby died like a dog...don't be like Bobby!

But still, snappy uniform.

[Richard Steele]

46. Don't be fooled like Bobby- That boy ain't right!

[Commie Pinko Dirtbag]

34. I wonder why some of the most active Catholics at DU

don't express more indignation with this kind of thing. Actually, no, I don't wonder. And let me stop here.

[Zuni]

38. Do you mean with me posting them?

I really don't think anyone could take this seriously.

[Commie Pinko Dirtbag]

40. No, it's not you, of course.

You're :thumbsup: in my book, and I dig your Chick posts.

[Zuni]

41. Ok. I misunderstood

I thought for a second I might have offended people. I didn't think Jack T Chick would be taken too seriously.

:hi:

[Swede]

39. What can you do with nut cases that hate Catholics so virulently?

These people have a long list of people to hate.

[Patiod]

35. And I thought the gay/vampire Christian Rockers was great

Wow! This even beats that -- didn't know he had it in him!

[Zuni]

48. Don't underestimate Jack T Chick

:hide:

[WoodrowFan]

56. oh man, gay vampires SUCK!!

sorry.

[Swede]

36. I thought it was a parody,for fuck sake.

Looney fucking tune time.

[NoPasaran]

37. One world government... and FREE DRUGS!

:woohoo:

[LynneSin]

43. we'll all be forced to wear outfits like this

[WoodrowFan]

45. and we HATE pets!

[Zuni]

47. He isn't playing on people's feelings here at all

:popcorn:

[WoodrowFan]

49. nope, the usual subtle Chick images and text. (NT)

[tjwmason]

50. Finally I've seen the light

I'm going to dump D.U. (you filthy heretics), burn all of my images of our Lady, join a Chickesque church and bomb the U.N. building.
:puke:

[LostinVA]

51. No! Not Blackleaf!!!

Hahahhaha! I love the Chick D&D/Wicca tracts. They are sooooo stupid. Especially the one where the "ex-Pagan" is preaching about how he had control of over 65,000 Druid priests. WHATEVER.

[jpgray]

58. I want a suit like the New Age Healer wears. (nt)

[Abelman]

59. Ew

I hate stuff like this. On the one hand, I do think it's good to stand up for what you beleive in.

ON the other hand, Chick is total idiot who is completely ignorant about any religion other than his own.

I hate "Christians" who think "Catholics" are going to hell and vice versa.

There is a special place in Hell, I would reckon, for people like Chick. He'll be all "what am I doing here?" And Satan will be all "because you're so intolerant - just like me! Now let's have sex!"

[LostinVA]

60. Chick can Then read the old Chick Tract "The Gay Blade"

I heard that's Satan's favorite after "Somebody Loves Me."