now, I would never SAY anything BAD about ANN COULTER....

[nostamj]

but, I might SING something. I might!

ANN COULTER
(To the tune of "(How Do You Solve A Problem Like) MARIA" from THE SOUND OF MUSIC)

SHE LOVES TO FIB
AND RILE THE LIBS.
HER SKIRT IS BARELY THERE.
SHE'S CHUMMY WITH SEAN HANNITY
WHO LOVES HER LONG BLOND HAIR
I HATE TO STOOP TO RUMOR
AND THOUGH THIS MAY BE UNFAIR:
I'VE EVEN HEARD SOME PEOPLE SAY SHE'S MANLY...

SHE'LL BROWN HER NOSE FOR BUSHIES
BUT YOU'LL HAVE TO PAY HER FIRST
SHE'S FULL OF HATE FOR SWARTHY MALES
AND BEST WHEN AT HER WORST
SO SOMEONE HAS TO SAY IT
'CAUSE THE EVIDENCE IS CLEAR
ANN COULTER IS A FASCIST OR A NAZI!

I'D LIKE TO ADD MY OWN LITTLE REBUKE
ANN COULTER...MAKES ME...PUKE!

HOW DO YOU STOP A HARPY LIKE ANN COULTER
HOW DO WE STOP THIS CLOWN AND SHUT HER DOWN?
WHAT KIND OF SLUR'S TOO MUCH FOR OUR ANN COULTER?
A 'SEE YOU NEXT TUESDAY? A FEMALE DOG? A WHORE?

LOOK FOR HER LIES SHE HIDES THEM IN HER ENDNOTES
LOOK AT HER THIGHS, SHE'S FLASHING THEM AGAIN
BUT SHE'S SUCH A RIGHT WING TOOL
BELIEVING THAT HATE IS COOL
HOW DO WE FLUSH THIS COCKROACH DOWN THE DRAIN?

OH, HOW DO YOU STOP A SHREW WHO SPEWS SUCH VENOM?
OH, HOW DO WE END THE COULTER KIND OF PAIN?

WHEN SHE'S ON THE AIR I CLICK
OR HER SCHICK WILL MAKE ME SICK
AND I'M TEMPTED TO IMPLODE THE TV SET.
SHE'S A FAN OF JOE McCARTHY
AND UPFRONT ABOUT HER BIGOTRY
SHE'S A DEMON! THE RIGHT'S DIVA! SHE'S ROVE'S PET!

PUT THE LEFT UNDER ARREST
AND ADMIT THAT BUSH IS BEST
OR SHE'LL THROW A PETTY TANTRUM THAT'S PROFANE
SHE'S NOT SUBTLE. SHE'S NOT WISE
SHE'S UNBALANCED. CHECK THOSE EYES!
SHE'S A SYMPTOM. SHE'S AN ILLNESS.
SHE'S INSANE!

HOW DO YOU STOP A HARPY LIKE ANN COULTER
HOW DO WE STOP THIS CLOWN AND SHUT HER DOWN?
WHAT KIND OF SLUR'S TOO MUCH FOR OUR ANN COULTER?
A 'SEE YOU NEXT TUESDAY? A FEMALE DOG? A WHORE?

LOOK FOR HER LIES SHE HIDES THEM IN HER ENDNOTES
LOOK AT HER THIGHS, SHE'S FLASHING THEM AGAIN
BUT SHE'S SUCH A RIGHT WING TOOL
BELIEVING THAT HATE IS COOL
HOW DO WE FLUSH THIS COCKROACH DOWN THE DRAIN?

OH, HOW DO YOU STOP A SHREW WHO SPEWS SUCH VENOM?
OH, HOW DO WE END THE COULTER KIND OF PAIN?


MAJOR updates to the site! Check it out!

[tnlefty]

1. ROFLMAO....just too good

:kick:

[nostamj]

15. thanks but

just can't keep it alive...

[bling bling]

2. Thanks for the laugh!

I started to reference my favorite parts but there's too many.

[nostamj]

16. I just set up a page of parodies

on my new site. (just added this one to it and there are more to come)

PARODY PAGE

[Applan]

3. Very clever....thanks

for the laugh

[nostamj]

4. glad you enjoyed and (somewhat belated) welcome to DU....

[CBHagman]

5. The "Sound of Music" will never be the same!

I laughed all the way through the lyrics. Thanks for that...

By the way, those nuns would have told Coulter a thing or two. "When you kneel down, the hem of your skirt should touch the ground." At least that was the drill in Catholic school! I can still recall the panicked looks on the faces of the girls...

[nostamj]

6. Ann's skirt hasn't touched her KNEES

in years! :wow:

[GoldenOldie]

7. It's not nice to make fun of people with mental disabilities.

[nostamj]

10. it may not be 'nice' but...

it is FUN

[nostamj]

8. oh, does rhymed mockery have no place in GD?

:cry:

[nostamj]

9. well, i guess that's a no....

:shrug:

[Ilsa]

11. The singing nuns are now in my brain...

singing about "how do we stop a problem like Maria?"

That was excellent! GREAT lyrics. Excellent tune picked out as well.

[nostamj]

13. glad you enjoyed it...

her attack on Helen Thomas HAD to be answered.

[XemaSab]

12. Brilliant

n/t

[nostamj]

14. thanks

[nostamj]

17. .

[atommom]

18. Somewhere, protesters need to be singing this song!

:kick:

[nostamj]

19. well, it would take some rehearsal!

but, i'd love to hear it.

[atommom]

20. All we need is a traveling troup of Coulter-hating musicians.

Surely that couldn't be so hard to find....

[nostamj]

21. yes.

halftime shows and parades should NOT be a problem!

[hippiegranny]

22. well done!

truly entertaining

[nostamj]

23. thanks......

just saw this got moved to the LOUNGE... man, DU makes it REALLY tough on political satire... it will die even faster here! :shrug: