I must admit - I'll be 36 in eight months and I'm not taking it well

[drumwolf]

Most people my age are married with kids, and I'm an undergrad student (and not a great one, at that) working part-time at Tower Records. I don't own a car, let alone a house. And I don't have a GF right now, let alone being even close to married.

The one positive thing about me being as old as I am is that I still look like I'm in my mid-20's -- which is good, because I live like I'm still 20 years old and I've accomplished about as much in life as someone that age.

And hearing someone talk about how they're feeling old when they're not yet 30 isn't helping my state of mind, either.

Sorry for the downer post, folks... I just needed to vent. Y'all can ignore this if you want.

[EFerrari]

1. You're a baby. Life starts after 35. Happy Birthday.

Anyone can accumulate STUFF.

Everything I really love, I did after 35. Be ready.

[drumwolf]

9. Thank you.

Yeah, I realize there's still time. I haven't given up hope yet.

[EFerrari]

12. Give up hope? Good god, you're just about grown up :)

After I turned 35, I let myself learn to draw and paint. Got a partner that is my heart. Geeze, my whole life just bloomed.

Be ready. Sounds like you're about due. :hi:

[mr fry]

2. dude life changes quick

at 35 my company went bk future x left me broke my leg

today 45 two kids beautiful wife great job

[drumwolf]

8. Wow. Glad to see it turned around

and thanks for telling me the story... it's encouraging.

[InvisibleTouch]

3. I can relate.

I'm kinda-sorta around your age, and it still seems weird to me to be in my 30's and in my current life situation. If you define being an adult and having a "real life" as being married with 2.5 kids, owning a home with a white picket fence, and earning a conventional salary, I will probably never qualify. But it begs the question - who writes that definition? And who says we have to abide by it?

Don't worry about "accomplishments." Those are usually defined by others, as well. The only person who can define success or failure for yourself, is you. Live life at your own pace, and let no one tell you otherwise.

[alittlelark]

4. A (presumably straight) male in SF has GREAT potential

... honestly. You are living in one of the coolest cities in the world. My aunt is too, but she's in SF (Santa Fe), where it is RARE to meet a hetero-dude). If she didn't own the gallery, she would likely be long-gone.

You are in the ZONE... start playing in it!!

[ElectroPrincess]

5. Want to feel better?

I'm 46 y.o. and love life more than ever. Guess it's because of being blessed with a good marriage (lucked out and won the lottery on husbands) and a beautiful child.

Don't feel bad, just treasure every positive experience. Being increasingly thankful for our lives and increased tolerance of others is often seen as the bright side of of aging.

Just my 2 cents that works for me. Best wishes.

[wtmusic]

6. Better than to be in a hellish marriage or divorce

Have you checked out sites like Match.com or AmericanSingles.com? Man I wish I had those when I was single.

[NurseLefty]

7. I'm going to 39 in 5 months, and I'm beyond worrying...

I can empathize with your situation... when I was 34, I felt like I was in a rudderless boat. I had a job, but no passion there or at home.
I decided to return to school, and now (after a long haul) I am about to graduate from the top nursing school in the country.
School has been the plus, but the negatives: my partner of 9 years never really supported my returning to school and we split last April, and I had surgery on my uterus, which has put a big question mark in the middle of whether I will ever have children, should I meet 'Mister Right'.
I've been told I look young for my age, which I guess is a plus, but I understand some of what you're saying, especially after having attended my 20-year (!) high school reunion in October.
Not being married & being without children put me in a tiny minority among my former classmates. It was so incredibly cookie-cutter, really - so many had 2 or 3 kids and lived in the burbs. I sensed some envy from a couple of people, that I was such a "free spirit".
I dunno, there are some mixed feelings. On one hand, I've lived a life that many my age could not have lived. I've had freedom. But, I do worry if I'll ever have that sense of security that comes with a loving partner and family.
You are not alone in your concerns. But, life is so unpredictable - you may end up with "Ms. Right" and some kiddos before you know it!

[hfojvt]

10. well, I am alot closer to 43

than you are to 36. I have a house, but no car. I have an MA and I work as a janitor (but hey, in many ways that beats factory work and I do have free health insurance and make about $11.5 an hour which seems pretty good to me).
I have never had a girlfriend, and that is not because I am gay. So I am not sure about accomplishments. I think when I was 36, I happened to read David Cassidy's autobiography, and the summary was something like, by the time he was 37 he had been divorced twice, he had made millions and lost it all, and I sorta thought: "and I think I am a loser".
However, because of the internet, I send and get alot of emails, and I started a collection. I have lots of collections, but this one is of people who have written to thank me. So, in spite of the fact that I do not have a great career, I still feel like I have accomplished some things in my life. That collection is getting close to 50 entries.

[Technowitch]

11. Pfft! I'll be 42 next Thursday. Bite me.

[UdoKier]

13. At least you're a grad student.

I'm the same age, married with kids, making crap money as a Japanese translator - just a BA from an advertising school. Getting older sucks, but the time goes by twice as fast if you have kids (although they are a great consolation).

BTW - no house either - we pay $12K for rent here in SF - more than half my pay!

Enjoy your enviable freedom while it lasts.

[MrModerate]

14. 52 and hearing the footsteps of time behind me . . .

At best I've got less than 25 years left, and I can remember 25 years ago and it doesn't seem that long.

On the partner, house, money, career side I've done OK, but this getting older and dying shit just sucks.

[leftchick]

15. This will make you feel better...

But not me, I will be 46 in eight months... :cry:

I did everything late in life though. Married at 32 (I found my TRUE love, sometimes it takes a while!). had my first baby at 37 and my second at 39. see? It is never too late!

My Dad got married at almost 35 amd just celebrated 51 years of marriage with my mom! How cute is that?

[sendero]

16. Hey...

... there are worse ways to live.

But if you are not satisfied, you have to have some kind of plan to change things. They will not change themselves. Figure out what you want to do and then go for it.

I'm 50. You will find that time flies by faster every year. You still have time but you do need to get hustling!

[SarahB]

17. You're a man, there's time.

You have no ticking biological clock. You pretty much have all the time in the world for that stuff. Today, I'm 33, but I also get mistaken for someone in my mid-20's and frankly, that just complicates things. I spent my 20's doing the suburban homeowner and mom thing and it didn't do me a Hell of a lot of good. Now, except for the responsibility of the mom factor, I get to start all over again in my life. I'm still a couple of years away from another, better-paying degree, I'm not a homeowner, and what's left of my marriage is now about to be flushed down the toilet. I spent all those years worried about everyone else and doing what was expected of me before I even knew who I was yet. All this stuff too young just makes everything harder. When it happens for you, it'll be real and you'll be ready for it.

[Deja Q]

18. I hear ya, I often feel the same way. But hang in there, you're worth it.

It's fair to vent, and is a catharsis.

And don't forget: Many who are married, with children could just as well be wife-beaters, child abusers, child molesters, or other vile things. They're worthless. I don't know how those men find anybody... but then I still don't know how * got elected in 2004 either.

:hug: