My Thursday night is SAVED! Bible Mad Libs!

[short bus president]

"From there Fred went up to Duluth. As he was walking along the road, some sheepshearers came out of the town and jeered at him. 'Go on up, you SCAVERER!' they said. 'Go on up, you SCAVERER!' He turned around, cromulated at them and called down a curse on them in the name of flutzbuffle. Then two geese came out of the woods and mauled five of the sheepshearers."

http://www.insolitology.com/games/biblelibs.htm

:7

[UrbScotty]

1. "From there Barack Obama went up to Kentwood.

As he was walking along the road, some politicians came out of the town and jeered at him. 'Go on up, you Ashcroft!' they said. 'Go on up, you Ashcroft!' He turned around, elected at them and called down a curse on them in the name of Reagan. Then two dogs came out of the woods and mauled 56 million of the politicians."

Another one I got:

"At midnight the LORD struck down all the firstborn in the United States, from the firstborn of Jennifer Granholm, who sat on the TV, to the firstborn of the Governor, who was in the shed, and the firstborn of all the dogs as well. Jennifer Granholm and all his officials and all the Americans got up during the night, and there was loud wailing in the United States, for there was not a house without someone amazing."

[GreenPartyVoter]

2. I LURVE mad libs!

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Fight the fraud; fund the recount!
http://timeforachange.bluelemur.com/electionreform.htm

[sundog]

3. bwhahahaha

You have heard that it was said, 'Do not commit heterosexual sex.' But I tell you that anyone who eats at a woman lustfully has already committed heterosexual sex with her in his penis. If your ear causes you to run, gouge it out and throw it away.

[short bus president]

4. Yes. Precisely.

I have already committed heterosexual sex with her in my penis. I'm SO ASHAMED!

;-)

[sundog]

5. fine! now gouge out your ear & make it all good

:P

[JohnKleeb]

6. ok and thanks shortbus

1. From there Tom Coburn went up to Tulsa. As he was walking along the road, some Doctors came out of the town and jeered at him. 'Go on up, you bitch!' they said. 'Go on up, you bitch!' He turned around, fucked at them and called down a curse on them in the name of . Then two seals came out of the woods and mauled 12 of the Doctors.

2. You have heard that it was said, 'Do not commit murder.' But I tell you that anyone who rape at a woman lustfully has already committed murder with her in his dick. If your leg causes you to , gouge it out and throw it away.

3. When a woman has her regular flow of pee, the impurity of her monthly period will last 13 days, and anyone who touches her will be unclean till Bastile Day. Anything she licked on during her period will be unclean, and anything she chewed on will be unclean. Whoever touches her lamp must wash his ass, and bathe with beer, and he will be unclean till evening.

4. At midnight the LORD struck down all the firstborn in Britain, from the firstborn of Lord, who sat on the TV, to the firstborn of the Teacher, who was in the shop, and the firstborn of all the lions as well. Lord and all his officials and all the British got up during the night, and there was loud wailing in Britain, for there was not a house without someone harassing.

5. Dick and his men went out and killed 15 English. He brought their legs and presented the full number to the king so that he might become the king's aunt. Then Saul gave him his daughter Mary in mariage.

[BiggJawn]

7. First laff i've had all day!

And considering that it's 10PM, that's sad...

OK, here's mine:

"At midnight the LORD struck down all the firstborn in Klopstockia, from the firstborn of Congressman, who sat on the Sanyo vibrator, to the firstborn of the Flunky, who was in the outhouse pit, and the firstborn of all the Goats as well. Congressman and all his officials and all the Klopstockians got up during the night, and there was loud wailing in Klopstockia, for there was not a house without someone farting."

and

"When a woman has her regular flow of Tolulene, the impurity of her monthly period will last 666 days, and anyone who touches her will be unclean till Samhain. Anything she has farted on during her period will be unclean, and anything she had puked on will be unclean. Whoever touches her dildo must wash his asshole, and bathe with Scott's Liquid Gold, and he will be unclean till evening."

and finally...

"You have heard that it was said, 'Do not commit sweaty snuggle-bunnies.' But I tell you that anyone who has woo-wooed at a woman lustfully has already committed sweaty snuggle-bunnies with her in his scrotum. If your prostate causes you to dribble, gouge it out and throw it away."

[JimmyJazz]

8. Here's mine:

From there Joe went up to Armenia. As he was walking along the road, some asshat came out of the town and jeered at him. 'Go on up, you freeper!' they said. 'Go on up, you freeper!' He turned around, fucked at them and called down a curse on them in the name of the Ghost of Mrs. Mueir. Then two sheep came out of the woods and mauled 12 of the asshat.

[short bus president]

9. How is "asshat" gonna be PLURAL?

I would ask if it's like "sheep" that way, but I know you don't like the threads with the graphic sexual connotations...

:P

[JimmyJazz]

10. It's your mad lib - I just filled in the blanks - the program forgot

to either add an "s" or change it to "buttfez's"

[sister moon]

11. Fun fun fun!!

From there Hortense went up to Burbank. As he was walking along the road, some Dullards came out of the town and jeered at him. 'Go on up, you Swine!' they said. 'Go on up, you Swine!' He turned around, Buggered at them and called down a curse on them in the name of Leprechaun. Then two Baboons came out of the woods and mauled 384 of the Dullards.

You have heard that it was said, 'Do not commit Buggery.' But I tell you that anyone who spills at a woman lustfully has already committed Buggery with her in his vulva. If your earlobe causes you to eat, gouge it out and throw it away.

When a woman has her regular flow of nail polish remover, the impurity of her monthly period will last 92 days, and anyone who touches her will be unclean till St patrick's day. Anything she leers on during her period will be unclean, and anything she squats on will be unclean. Whoever touches her cotton swab must wash his uuvula, and bathe with motor oil, and he will be unclean till evening.

At midnight the LORD struck down all the firstborn in Belgium, from the firstborn of Sir Paul McCartney, who sat on the Feather duster, to the firstborn of the Insurance agent, who was in the x-rated nightclub, and the firstborn of all the gnus as well. Sir Paul McCartney and all his officials and all the fancy-pants frenchies got up during the night, and there was loud wailing in Belgium, for there was not a house without someone resounding.

Horace and his men went out and killed 5 Vietnamese. He brought their nipples and presented the full number to the king so that he might become the king's 3rd cousin twice removed. Then Saul gave him his daughter Estelle in mariage.