OMG when I was sitting in church on Sunday

[Moonbeam_Starlight]

the pastor was talking about some shit about a rich man and a camel and a needle or some shit and I JUST remembered my cleaning lady Juanita left a big ol' pile of laundry and shit last time she came and she didn't even finish doing it! Psshh. I'm so through with her. I found like a clump of dirt last time she supposedly "swept" anyway. I'm gonna call the cleaning service and tell them to send me some cleaning lady who actually ABLAHs AYNGLISH and can clean worth a shit, damn. S'what I pay her for. But I'll probly just get another shitty Mexican just come over the border, cain't speak worth a crap and I gotta say "WASHING MACHINE" real loud and shit, fuck.

So anyway, I am SO pissed off Bob has to go to some damn conference in Florida. I told him to tell his company to send me, I'd send the kids to moms, but oh no, this is one he can't take anyone on. Whatever. Bastards. They need to pay him more anyway. His stock options are for shit.

And OHMYGA the kids are driving me batshit. I told McKenzie I was gonna freaking give her to the gypsies if she didn't straighten her little butt up and if Austin smarts his mouth off at me again, his ass is grass. Little punk.

OHMYGA did ya'll see Desperate Housewives? OHMYGA I love that show. It is so weird!

I'm gonna totally go to Foley's Red Apple Sale, they have some stuff on sale and all my clothes suck. I told Bob I'm gonna buy about $400 worth of stuff and if he doesn't like it, well tough. I need new clothes. Oh and he said it was ok for me to get that new leather furniture. I am SO EXCITED!!!!! Now maybe the media room won't look like SHIT anymore!

He wants a new plasma TV, OHMYGA those things are expensive. I guess he'll get it with part of his Christmas bonus.

Oh guys, Stephanie is having a Pure Romance party at her house next Friday night! WOOOOOOO!!!! LADY TOYS!!! OHMYGA I have been wanting to get that waterproof battery-operated boyfriend for so long. Hee hee, I know, it's crazy, but ok, come on, they ARE fun and you know Bob isn't always around and all! I know!

We're gonna have margaritas too. Oh yeah as big as your head margaritas. Gonna get our DRANK ON!

Hey did I tell you about the pastor's wife? Yeah, they think she has cancer of the uterus or some shit. Crazy. I hope they yank her stuff out fast. We're gonna take over a covered dish or something. Poor woman, first her daughter gets run over, then her son dies in that war, but hey it's good Saddam Hussein is gone, right? Then this.

Oh and they think Betty is flirting with Minister Doug. Can you FUCKING believe that?

Bible Study is on Wednesdays don't forget. We're gonna pray for president boosh. OHMYGA I'm so glad he got reelected and all. I was so damn scared, HA HA HA! So we're gonna meet and study and pray and I am so happy we're gonna be protected from the homos and all.

Oh you gotta go? Ok well pray for Susan and her cancer, ok? Jesus loves ya!

[Moonbeam_Starlight]

1. Oh wait before you hang up!

I totally forgot to tell you something that is just going to FREAK you out. Patsy finally left her husband. Yep. Sonbitch been cheating on her six ways to Sunday, ever since the honeymoon. She shoulda cut his balls off. I don't know if he's gonna be youth minister anymore. Anyway, have a Godly day and be blessed!

[jdots]

21. shit these people live too close to me.

that was dead on perfect. my favorite is " I got a headache from my massage."

[SmileyBoy]

2. Don't forget to have the black boy detail your H2!!!

If he does well, you can give him a dollar!!!

Great satire, BTW

[Moonbeam_Starlight]

3. Sheeeeit

last time I was there, I said I totally wasn't going there anymore, because I know, those black guys, I mean don't get me wrong, I don't got nothin against the blacks, but they really do a shitty job on my Suburban and Bob was SO pissed off last time he took the Hummer (I told him it's a good thing he drives a Hummer since he ain't ever gettin one!) it got back with a fucking SCRATCH all down the side.

Gawd. I mean don't get me wrong, I don't got nothing against the blacks but they really do a shitty job on the detailing. I'm sure they're getting paid plenty I mean they got their expensive clothes and all. So they could at least do a better job, yanno?

[CanuckAmok]

4. MS, you're a pip!

Thanks for the chuckles! "DRANK ON"! LOL!

[Moonbeam_Starlight]

5. What you laughing at me?

You know, your dranky-drank. What the blacks call hittin the fo-ty ounce.

[Quadrajet]

6. This is awesome!

Great story. I know people like this, and no, they're not liberals.

[Moonbeam_Starlight]

9. Shit

of course I'm not some stupid liberal. I actually got a lick of sense in my head, HA HA HA!!! Also I could not be godless, I mean I DO care where I spend the afterlife, HA HA HA!!!

Do you actually know any liberals? I don't think I do. Don't they all live in New York and California? They scare me, crap.

[ropi]

7. ya'll .....

can ya recommend a good home school for my babies? i dont want any libruls or lesbeen gym teachers eyein my lil hannah and kaylie...

[Moonbeam_Starlight]

8. Oh shit yeah

Barbara and Novella both do home schoolin of their kids, I can give you their phone numbers, but they only do their own kids, you gonna have to either find a private school or home school them yourself.

Personally I would love to homeschool mine just because I swear you cannot get away from the minorities and if McKenzie comes home with a black boyfriend someday we're just gonna tell her to get the hell out, but I could not stand to have those kids up my ass all day. I'd kill 'em. Then it'd be in all the papers.

Yeah I'll getchoo Barbara's number.

[ropi]

10. careful...

barbara is a convert... she was catholic remember! i am not sure i'd want her trying to influence my decision. i mean she still has that virgin mary in the bathtub shrine in the back yard near the pit bull pen.

[Moonbeam_Starlight]

11. OHMYGA I TOTALLY forgot about that

oh that is so funny, HA HA I remember when she was dunked at church and I remember thinking "well there you go Barbara, now you in the REAL church and not goin to hell"

But yeah I'll get you Novella's number. She been a Baptist since before she was born. All her people's baptist, so it's fine.

[ropi]

12. Okay...

But, Novella's seventh cousin twice removed on her mother's side did marry her first cousin in 1803. We found that out when we did her Daughter's of the Confederacy application. You think that her inbreeding lines are close enough to trust her with a decision like this? I mean, I'd prefer someone like old bug-eyed Mrs. Whitebread who at least had parents who were siblings--she's been Baptist for years and can tranlate tongues--

edit: to add

and Novella's name is somewhat latin sounding... i am afraid that i can smell papist in her blood somewhere. didn't you remember how misty eyed she got the last time we had the live nativity?

[nothingshocksmeanymore]

13. Rofl. You're scaring me!

you're too real

[ropi]

14. LOL

tee hee hee

i grew up in a red state living with these people... *hack*cough* i have my ciggies, jesus, bingo, bible study, and gun and GOD.

[nothingshocksmeanymore]

17. and a truck?

[ropi]

27. HAHA

that, my friend, is an entirely different thread... You'd have your chevy, ford, and dodge defenders coming to blows!

[hunter]

37. Them "Dodge defenders" is all, um, sorta queer...

You got to wonder about 'em sometimes, like maybe they secretly voted for Kerry or somethin' worse, you know...

You gotta drive a ford, because them Mexicans, they like their Chevy's too much, if you know what I mean, but man, you gotta say them's chicks is hot. So maybe a Chevy is okay.

[ropi]

39. I don't know

After having seen that Grechten Wilson sing that Redneck Woman and seeing her cavort around like a Catherine Bach, Daisy Duke Wanna-be, in a truck, I find myself looking for a truck that would reflect the christian lifestyle.

praise!

[hunter]

48. Grechten Wilson is Party Trash!

Not sayin' I wouldn't, you know, (I mean who wouldn't?), but I don't think she'd be reflecting the christian lifestyle if she was your babe, no matter what kind of truck you had.

[ropi]

49. you would?!

i wouldnt! she has that Tanya Tucker in that video... I saw it when I was prepping for my presentation on how to raise our young ladies correctly-- I used that trash video to show them the dangers of driving a truck and cavorting around in the mud and listening to Country Music.

I used to praise Amy Grant until she fell...now nice Christian Girls have no one to look up to!

[hunter]

50. Oooops. I thought you were a guy.

Talking about trucks and all....

[ropi]

51. LOL

oops.... come on now... guy or gal..gay or str8... when in hickland...you gotta know about trucks! <grin>

[jmowreader]

59. No, you gotta drive a Chevy!

You don't ever drive a Ford, you don't even look at Fords, because we all know Henry Ford was a pinko liberal--payin' his staff a dollar a day and all like that. Those little wussies should have been PROUD to work for fifty cents a day to keep ol' Henry afloat.

[nothingshocksmeanymore]

18. delete dupe

[Tom Kitten]

15. This whole thread is fucking hilarious!

Ooopsie! Pardon my French!:*

[ropi]

16. did you just say French?

after all the sacrifices we made and the help we gave those ingrates? i hope you're born again because if not, you will never see the light of day. invoking those french (shudders at even having to write the word) is akin to insulting the baby jesus himself. quick, repent!

i'd toss holy water on you just to test your faith..but i'd never touch that stuff <grin>.

[Tom Kitten]

23. Now, now...

Holy water is just that...it's wholly water, nothing else, although Jesus, my head landscaper, might disagree if I allowed him to speak to me and my friends outside of me giving him orders.

Speaking of Jesus, I just found out he saves! It turns out he is trying to bring his wife, Maria, into the country but has to save up several thousand dollaros to pay his coyote friend for the border crossing...I'd be willing to help the little wetback out by raising his salary to perhaps six dollars an hour but something about him irks me...I guess I just don't like the lack of respect shown to Our Blessed Lord by these ungrateful third world types who choose to go by His Holy Name...I understand these "cultural differences" but we just don't name our children Jesus here in America! Sometimes you have to put your foot down and make them learn the hard way...Besides, there is a new Chagall painting for sale downtown and I have just the spot for it in our breakfast hutch! It's very pretty, it has an angel in it, and I'm always impressed at how creative Jews can be under the most trying of circumstances!

[ropi]

26. chagall?

why would you buy that sort of art? i think a nice thomas kinkade print would be lovely. I know I am buying his Christmas cards to send out to everyone on my list. No UNICEF cards for my born again address list recipients. After I found out that the UN in Unicef stood for that godless United Nations...well, cute little doves or not, I firmly slammed my door on that young dark raced child who was selling them.

Oh, and yes, and I am including my yearly 'family tales' letter. Why, a Christmas without that not be the same! And, we're so proud that James finally got into Bob Jones this year (Praise!) after having to study at that community college. I had fears for him when he took that Hinduism course (and don't mention to me when he brought home that girl who's name sounded faintly Arabic), but I knew that our lord would lead the way and bring him back to the fold.

[Tom Kitten]

28. now now dear...

Please before you jump to conclusions remember we are supposed to humor the Jews, at least until the Times of Tribulation when our Kind and Benevolent Lord sees fit to throw their sorry unbelieving asses into the Eternal Lake of Fire. Up to then we are to be nice to them. Except for the liberal ones that is, they might as well worship Baal and can fry any time as far as I am concerned!
The Lord acts in Mysterious Ways so for now I adhere to his Almighty Bidding and know in my heart the fruits of my personal sacrifice will result in the Blessed Armaggedon!
However the Chagall looks very nice in our breakfast hutch and inspires us each morning as we enjoy our meals of Earl Grey tea and Freedom toast...It depicts the archangel Michael and his sword of retribution and is very comforting...
I must say I am troubled by your enthusiastic embrace of this Thomas Kincaid fellow, and I have prayed about this !
This Kincaid has been associated with the word "magic" applied to his paintings and we all know "magic" pertains to the occult.
I do not wish to judge you but perhaps you are being mislead by embracing the outward superficial "beauty" of the works of this man of questionable anti-Christian behavior. Yes his work appears beautiful to even the Christian eye but please remember that the Devil appeared to Eve as the most Beautiful of creatures, the serpent. As a friend I ask you to reconsider your dangerous embracing of this most probably Satanically possessed "artist"...Perhaps we might arrange a little get-together where the brethren might pray over your possible lapse of judgement.

[ropi]

38. satanic!

thank you, dear brother for alerting me to this. Not only have I taken all of those kincade prints down--I burned them and prayed over the flames that I'd never be tempted again by this Painter of Light. I swear to you and on a stack of Bibles as high as the Twin Towers that I heard demonic laugher as the flames of God ignited those prints. (That reminds me of the time we burned that Ouija board and heard Prince and Beatles lyrics eminating from it during the AWANA meeting with the Junior High Students. I swear to you that I was never so afraid when I heard "Purple Rain" coming from the fire!) Now that you mention it, I see how stealthily Lucifer has put himself in our midst. Kincade! Painter of Light, indeed! I am nearly in spasms now thinking that the dark one's name means Light Bearer---to think that I almost fell like EVE did too temptation. I've cancelled my Xmas card order too and I told SueElla that her little Isaac better stop selling those cards door to door in Christian Neighboorhoods (I had my reservations about purchasing, you know, being that her own father was a convert in 1968). Honestly, though, I don't know what to do now! It's not too late to buy Xmas cards--perhaps I can sneak over to Dollar General and buy those bulk cards (providing that there are not any black checkout girls--I can't have them touching my Xmas cards!)

I suppose we can do what we must to support those Jews in the Holy Land. Buy your Chagall--we'll think of it as charity. At least I know that the money may go to the rebuilding of the Temple so Our Lord (Praise!) will return. It's too bad that they're all going to be tossed into the Lake of Fire for not knowing HIM, but it's written that it will happen. But, as long as your breakfast nook does look charming--I suppose that a few thousand to rebuild the temple can excuse your love for the art.

I'd talk more, but Sarah just came home from Youth Group and I am dying to hear which sinners converted--who was brought to HIS NAME and who spoke in tounges after having prayed over viewing that Britney Spears video.

Love in His Name,

[El Biggo Doggo]

19. OMYGA

That was hilarious. Just what I needed.
I'm thinking of issuing 'Red State Passports' to tourists on the Venice Boardwalk this summer, instruting them on how to behave around people who can read and don't breathe through their mouths. Any ideas? Please leeme know.
I guess writing 'The Red State Diaries' is a little lame.

[ropi]

20. ohhhh

give it the red state's diaries name..kinda reminds me of that tawdry series...red shoe diaries...and if you can use the tawdry to get attention... i say do it... tee hee hee..

they may think they are getting something....<shudders> filthy..and you know..that even the best of christians has a soft spot for something debauched...oops..i mean in private...

hahahahaha!

[Moonbeam_Starlight]

36. Hey we got our Pure Romance Parties

or at least we DID until that skank-ass bitch in Burleson started turning us in and shit.

I really shouldn't call her a skank-ass bitch because she IS Godly and all but her SISTER runs that weird Baptist church down by the river and Pastor Doug said it's jus WRONG for a woman to be runnin a church. I love Pastor Doug.

Oh but anyway I saw on Opra that women should get in touch with themselves and all and that's all we doing at those parties, jus having a good time and gettin our drank on and laughing at the big ol dildos and shit.

But we don't sit there and try em out in front a each other, I mean thas jus LEZbian.

[ropi]

43. I've seen those dildos

One was black even! I am so glad that I didn't have a Mandingo fetish going on--or I would have been tempted to purchase one as a tool to teach about the dangers of race mixing and abstience. I think that something that large and in that color would scare our little ones from ever having to be tempted to date one of those people!

I do recall, once, that at the Pure Romance party that our Pastor's second wife (the Whore of Bablyon herself) eyes glazed over when they pulled out the edible undies. (Don't forget..it wasn't until the divorce proceedings that we found out she went by the name Juana Dumi at that strip bar!) I made note of that in my travel bible/planner and counted the days (498 to be exact) before Pastor Gregg woke up and saw her for the Jezebel that she was. I had my suspicions on her virtue from the start when I caught her being so eager to teach the Teen Boys for Our Lord group. I pointed out to Lilly that I have never seen such a woman, let alone a Pastor's wife, want to devote her time to a group of young men--and she was always so willing to go into the bible study room with them, alone, and with that young Youth Minister (you know, the one who is in jail now for tempting Sarahbelle's Amy)

[Moonbeam_Starlight]

44. OHMYGA he was SUCH a pimp

course he wasn't pimpin for the LORD, he was just a straight up pimp.

Ok so I remember that and I told Barbara who lives next door to me (the one I got to go to our church after she started talkin smack about her Church of Christ her parents go to --they are just weird) that that would happen. I TOLD her it would and damn if it did.

Yeah those "toys" are funnier than shit. I thought maybe when McKenzie was older I'd show her that 18" long one and that'd scare her away from boys for a long-ass time.

Whatchoo think?

[ropi]

46. You have to be careful

Showing MacKenzie such a large implement may induce her to study feminism and to become... well, I won't write that L word, but a <whispers> Sapphist!

maybe the 6" white model will serve your needs better... I know that I was scared to see such a large toy... My David is not that large! <now, don't let that out--girl talk, you know!>

[ComerPerro]

22. Damn. just damn

That is too terrifying... Very well written.

[Moonbeam_Starlight]

33. Oh thanks

I hated English so bad in school and my teachers were just fucking mean but I kinda taught myself to rite a lot better and all.

[flygal]

24. I love it - thank you!

[Biased Liberal Media]

25. Stop! Yer scarin' me!

ROFLMAO!!!!!

[nothingshocksmeanymore]

29. I'm kicking this back up because it made me ROFLPIMP to read it

[Donkeyboy75]

31. OMG! Your funny. Its a hysterical post!

[amandae]

30. LMAO! Girl ... you're speakin' the language!!

You need to "vaca" more from the south :P

It's soooooo scary that these people were voting on Tuesday. For them the election was some sort of contest and not about who the best person was for our future ... scary shit, I tell ya.

[Moonbeam_Starlight]

34. Um

like what the hell are you talkin about? Are you talking about my people?

Sha. WHATever. The scary shit was that Skerry Kerry that GOD did not let into the office of the Big House.

Sha.

[amandae]

60. Like, UM, hello!? I'm totally talkin about yer people!

Dude, I can't even pretend to talk like that!! No inspiration to go off of ... I cut off contact with many freepers for the time being :P If they live in a swing state, I cut off contact forever.

:hi: Thank you for the laugh :)

[Ellen Forradalom]

32. Oh hey! It's Mrs. Boudelang!

Y'all come by and visit sometime, y'hear?

[Moonbeam_Starlight]

35. OHMYGA

how'd you know my last name fucker?

And why'd you put it on here with all these librul ASSHOLES?



I mean---that's not my last name.

[ropi]

41. Moonbeam

Dear... Perhaps you should think of a less librul nickname to use on the Message board. The entire pseudnym does not reflect a Conservative lifestyle--it reeks of 1960's free love and liberalism. I'll pray that it's not that way--and I hope that you aren't some Wiccan who converted to our LORD's Ways.

You are such a dear, however, and I suppose we can overlook the nickname--I mean the Save the Souls pitch in dinner for Thanksgiving is not the same without your Green Bean Casserole and Scripture Cookies( You know..those little cute 'fortune cookie' (shudders at the idea that i'd even type that word) things). And you do walk your walk for the LORD--perhaps you're using it to convert those wiccans who may have lost the path--and like Bo-Peep, your name leads them back to the flock.

[Moonbeam_Starlight]

42. Girl SHHHHH

you are gonna blow my cover.

See I chose that name (this board is private right?) cuz I figger the libruls would LOVE that name, it's so goofy sounding and hippie and shit.

Oh hey you gonna come to my Homemade Gourmet party? We're having some eats and drinkin and stuff and they got some great stuff you might want to buy. Bob's so damn stingy, I swear, I have to do these things just to have money for my manicure and pedicure. Shit.

I gotta go, they're doing some kinda breaking shit on Fox.

Oh hey glad you like my Greanbean shit and those cookies you know Velma up at church gave me the recipe for the cookies. "Baked with the Help of the Lord" I felt the spirit move in me while I was baking them.

Well I mean later I figured out it was gas, but I thought for a while there I might have a new testimony story, oh well

[ropi]

45. tee hee hee

okay..the secret is safe. I always trust that you know how to deliver souls to our Savior. You did, after all, win that afgan for the most converts in 1992. <smile>

Of course I'll be there for the party. You know I can't pass up those little gift boxes and I do love those mason jar recipe kits they sell--I always send mine with the 10 Commandments pasted on the back.

Are you going to have that nice little Asian family come over to do our nails and feet? I do love them--although I do know that they are probably talking about how lovely our homes are and how much they want to be like us--but I wish their English was better. I mean they did move here... they could have the courtesy to speak better. Ooh! That gave me an idea. I heard that the new woman who joined our Quilting club and who is born again--DID YOU see her Culottes! I nearly died with envy until she offered to make me a pair, Praise! If you ask--the Lord will deliver--and Envy didn't cross my heart when she offered to make me some)Well, I hear that she taught ESL before she married and perhaps we can get her to teach ESL in the Hall after services--not only would we be helping to save the Oriental from the grips of Satan, they may offer to do our nails and feet at a cut price.

[Moonbeam_Starlight]

52. Sha I don't have the orientals come here

I go there, Bob's too damn stingy to pay for me to have them come here, besides.....well, nevermind.

I just watch and make sure they clean their instruments before they work on my feet and when they get all "Ching Chong Choo" and shit I just read my People magazine. If their talking about me their gonna find themselves in a world of hurt.

taht reminds me kim couldnt do my hair last time so the other guy did it and I guess he's one of those homos but OHMYGA he did my hair so good, I hope next time I go Kim's not there either. How am I gonna be able to go to her now? I mean seriously no shit my hair ROCKED. His name was Kevin or Kenneth or somethin I can't remember and he was all "ooooo you have such FABULOUS hair" and I didnt' care because damn he was good. Mmmmmmm. I still keep looking at myself.

Praise the Lord!

Oh yeah I saw her Culottes, but girl ok, I prayed to the Lord about this so I'm gonna be straight up with you here: y'all have got to get in this centry ok with those culottes? Please. OK I know you are going to freak out but you know that gay guy Kevin I just told you about? He was also tealling me about some of the fashion shows and shit and he told me some colors to wear and Ok I just have to say, he may be going to hell to burn in the everlasting fires and brimstone, but he knows his fashion. So maybe you could go over to The Purty Place (it's over on Green Hill Rd.) and chat him up? Seriously and hey who knows? Invite him to church! You know those homos need God. So we could help each other! you get awesome hair and he gets eternal salvation!

[ropi]

58. I dont know

Kevin or Kenneth... but, if you allowed him to touch your haid, it's okay in my book. I'd not trust those men as far as I could throw them. I do recall that they did, however, turn out Nancy Reagan right smartly--she was always so fashionable.

I realize that my love for culottes may not always be with the current trends, but sometimes I can't leave behind the teachings of First Baptist Christian School for Girls from my memory. Do you think if she'd offer to make them into a skort, ankle length of course, that it would be better?

[motely36]

40. LOL

I need more smiles in my life right now :)

[Moonbeam_Starlight]

54. I got

plenty of smiles becuase my man Annointed by Jesus got in the Big House again.

Yeaeh!

[ropi]

57. Praise!

I can tell you on Wednesday night Bible Study--we all said a prayer for our leader and his wonderful family. I am so glad to see that his daughters supported him. At least they are not like that *gasp* I can't even type her name-- M-A-R...to think that she was named after the mother of our LORD, Cheney girl--she stayed in the background like a good homosexshul should.

[Shakespeare]

47. Emily? EMILY?! OHMYGA it's my cousin Emily in Dallas!!

And all this time, I thought you were one of those weirdo liberal types!!!

Y'all are just gonna LOVE Emily!

Hey, Emily, how's your sister Kelley doin'?

Y'all, Kelley is my lesbian cousin that nobody in the family will admit is a lesbian, even though she's been living with the same woman for the last ten years--her "good friend," and they bought a house together and all.

Heh...they won't talk about Kelley's "lifestyle" SO STOP SAYING THAT, but OHMYGA you should've seen the shocked and horrified expressions at the last family reunion when I gleefully informed them I was a democrat: "Y'all didn't know that? Seriously? Why are you lookin' at me that way???"

(here's the part that's not funny: the above is actually 100% completely true).

Moonbeam, you are my new favorite person. I have needed a laugh SO bad the last 48 hours--thank you!!

[Moonbeam_Starlight]

53. Hey Shakespeare

(what the hell kinda name is that? Is that that guy who did the plays and shit? I never could undersand that in school)

Hey I live in Dallas, damn where's Emily live?

Why is everyone laughing at me here? Libruls, grr.

[Shakespeare]

55. Emily lives in Plano!

It's just too cute--she and her husband have matching Expeditions. They live in a custom home (which, oddly, looks like every other home on their bloc--how's it "custom?") about a mile from my Aunt Rachel.

She was a teacher just like our First Lady--for about a year, until her husband decided he didn't like his wife working, so now she's a stay-at-home wife! Leaves her more time to make sure Lupe does her job right. You can't trust 'em when you can't see 'em, ya know?

[ropi]

56. back!

*protecting moonbeam*

wasn't shakespeare that homosexshul writer? <looks at shakes as if he's satan's spawn). I hope this nickname is one that is a trick to lure the homo and the lesbean..and the bi-lost-sheep back to the flock--knowing how much they love theatre.

Praise! Yet, your cousin Emily and her husband do drive the requisite vehicles--stay-at-home raise the children, and live in a custom house (jes' lak errryone else)--and your other cousin is accepted for her sinning ways and her 'special friend' is referred to with the correct Christian euphemism--okay... You're saved in my book, but if i catch you falling for the lure of Satan, Shakespeare, keep in mind that i'll call you out on it and rebuke Satan from your body.