Onan's Greatest Hit - The greatest song about masturbation

[Fenris]

Poll question: Onan's Greatest Hit - The greatest song about masturbation

And you can dispute any one of these songs if you want. Some were lifted out of the Book of Rock Lists. Others were obvious.

And feel free to add your own pick to the list. AND KEEP BOTH HANDS ON THE KEYBOARD!

[Wickerman]

1. I don't care what the poll is, the Buzzcocks in it

they gonna get my vote. In this case it works great.

[Fenris]

8. The same here

Pete Shelley is a genius.

[OneBlueSky]

2. Blinded by the Light . . .

in the dumps with the mumps
as the adolescent pumps
his way into his hat.

[Fenris]

5. Was going to throw that one in

But I left it out.

[Maccagirl]

3. Blinded By The Light

and typing with both hands.

[Booberdawg]

4. LOL!

I need both hands to type!

[wyldwolf]

6. She-Bop - Cyndi Lauper!

[LoZoccolo]

13. I had a professor in college...

...who went through a bunch of symbolism in the video for that song. Can't remember much except doesn't she end up blind? And I wouldn't know what to make of the car chase scene in that interpretation either.

[unblock]

15. she doesn't end up blind

at least not in the song,

"they say i better stop or i'll go blind"

it's been a long time, but i do recall a brief image of her blind, but i don't think the video ended on that note.

[wyldwolf]

16. Lyrics...

Use to think the line "I hope he will understand" was "I don't even understand."


We-hell- I see them every night in tight blue jeans
In the pages of a blue boy magazine
Hey I've been thinking of a new sensation
I'm picking up - good vibration -
Oop - she bop -

Do I wanna go out with a lion's roar
Huh, yea, I wanna go south n get me some more
Hey, they say that a stitch in time saves nine
They say I better stop - or I'll go blind
Oop - she bop -

She bop - he bop - a - we bop
I bop - you bop - a - they bop
be bop - be bop - a - lu - she bop,
I hope he will understand
She bop - he bop - a - we bop
I bop - you bop - a - they bop
be bop - be bop - a - lu - she bop
Oo - oo - she - do - she bop - she bop

(whistle along here...)

Hey, hey - they say I better get a chaperone
Because I can't stop messin' with the danger zone
No, I won't worry, and I won't fret -
Ain't no law against it yet.
Oop - she bop - she bop -

She bop - he bop - we bop.....

[regnaD kciN]

24. My choice, too...

I was a big CL fan.

[madrchsod]

7. duh...

darling nickey...

[disgruntella]

9. oh, dang!

You're so right - I would revoke my "Billy Idol" vote for that!

[Fenris]

10. Tipper thinks so

:evilgrin:

[uhhuh]

11. Mother Fist

- Marc Almond

[GOPisEvil]

12. "Rosie" by Jackson Browne

Lyrics ahoy:

http://www.guntheranderson.com/v/data/rosie.htm

[maveric]

23. Thats the one!

Rosie you're all right
You wear my ring

[unblock]

14. whip it???

there is nothing in that song that could be misconstrued as being about masturbation, unless you take a few words completely out of context, like "whip it" and maybe "get straight".

when a problem comes along, you must whip it?
...
when something's going wrong, you must whip it?

no way.

[MR. ELECTABLE]

17. Blister in the Sun

by the Violent Femmes is one that shouldn't be forgotten.

[Bolo Boffin]

18. My Ding-a-Ling!

My (Ding - a - Ling)

Oh, my (Ding - a - Ling)

I want to play with my (Ding - a - Ling!)

On Edit: It looks like my Wesley Clark avatar is singing the song, doesn't it? Well...

[DemBones DemBones]

19. And Grandma called it

My Ding-a-Ling!

[regnaD kciN]

25. There are those of you who will not sing...

...you must be playin' with your own ding-a-ling!

:evilgrin:

[opiate69]

20. Hmm....

I had always been told that "In My Room" was actually about Brian Wilson's year-long self-imposed exile due to his extreme agoraphobia...

[last_texas_dem]

21. "Imaginary Lover" by Atlanta Rhythm Section

I really like that song, though I suppose it's pretty much indisputable what it is about.

Since it always bothers me when people say that "All I Have to do Is Dream" by the Everly Bros. is about masturbation, it ALWAYS has to be the first one that pops into my head when people mention the topic of songs about masturbation, naturally! It's just such a pretty song...

[jenm]

22. counting out time

Erogenous zones I question you

Without you, mankind handkinds thru' the blues.

[cprise]

26. Helen Reddy! (Angie Baby)

"Well, maybe"

[LanternWaste]

27. Billy Joel- Captain Jack eom

eom

[zelda7743]

28. Longview by Green Day

Does that count since it's openly talking about the subject?

[Kat45]

29. A nice mention in Zappa's "Disco Boy"

But "Turning Japanese" is my favorite in this subject area.

[mr blur]

30. Teenage Kicks

by The Undertones. Nobody 'in charge' knew, of course, which is why it was played on the radio.

[leftofthedial]

31. Right In Time--Lucinda Williams

I take off my watch and my earrings
My bracelets and everything
Lie on my back and moan at the ceiling
Oh my baby
Think about you and that long ride
I bite my nails I get weak inside
Reach over and turn off the light
Oh my baby
The way you move it's right in time

[Cocoa]

32. "The Greatest Love of All"

Whitney Houston. :-)