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So, For the last 24 hours I've played host to a woodchuck. I'm not happy about it. Right before I left for election judge training last night this little fella strolled into the garage right as Mrs. Lunabush arrived home.
She didn't park the car in the garage but came to get me. I fought him for awhile, but had to run to training. When I got home I couldn't find him anywhere and assumed he was gone. I checked the garage several more times then locked up for the night. This AM no sign of him.
When i got home there were signs of him everywhere. A fullgrown woodchuck has a very dark urine, in case you wondered. He didn't seem to care that he tracked through it either. Oh, and pine bark mulch for decorating and stuff? Might as well put it out when you buy it as this woodchuck is NO respecter of private property. Your mileage may vary would you ever house your own woodchuck, but this fella thought I put it there for him to nest in - not spread among my roses this weekend.
So, I eventually trapped him under a shelving unit. I had no desire to hurt him, but all efforts to cajole him out were seeming to fail. I tried a peanut butter sandwich. I tried pounding on the unit and rattling the cans from recycling at him. I turned up MPR and blasted that at him. I cranked classic rawk at him. Even Boston failed to budge him. A turn to the country station only seemed to push him further back in.
Finally, I shoved a stick at him. He seemed interested in it. He played with it. I thought maybe this guy wasn't so bad - I mean, I've never heard of anyone having a pet woodchuck, but, who knows? I tried to trail him out with it. Didn't work. Then, i tried a broom, tried to sweep him out. No luck. Finally, a shovel scooped him out onto the garage floor. With the broom I coaxed him into the drive.
At first he hid under the car, making furtive starts for the garage (which by now is closed up). Eventually I got him under the big pine tree next to the drive. The little rat still wants to get back n the garage. He is very stubborn. He would rustle under the boughs of the pine like he was hiding, nestling in for the night. Then, very quietly he would sneak out until he say I was still there. Saw? Do woodchucks see? Smelled? Sensed? Once I was confirmed still on duty he would scurry back under the branches.
My goal was to get him in the open and then force him to run off down the hill and out of my life. As if I didn't have previous cause, here I began to feel stupid. I'm 6'3", 240 lbs and I'm standing in my drive with a broom at the ready, defending my garage from a not so vicious woodchuck. And I mean I was out there awhile.
Eventually I tired of the game. I am sure he is feeling quite superior right now - having waited me out. Well he did, that's true. However, in the scheme of things, doesn't he have all the tie in the world? I mean, he has four functions; eat, shit, fuck, and piss. He can do two while waiting for me. For all I know he can eat, too. After all, as Yule Gibbons used to say, Many parts of a pine tree are edible. I don't think he has a woodchuck babe tucked away under the tree, though.
Anyway, I got CD's to burn, kids to read to, freshed baked chocolate chip cookies to eat, and of course, DU to read. I figure my time is more valuable than the rodent's time. So, I left. Let him feel superior.
Does anyone know anything about woodchucks? I guess I need to get a live trap and remove him from the area. What a pain. I don't care to hurt him - we have been through a lot together. That said, I refuse to share my garage with him.
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